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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

How much am I at risk?

NotSoAnonymous

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 28, 2015
Messages
11
Hello. First of all, if this is in the wrong place, I apologize and ask that somebody directs me to the proper area. I'm a fairly experienced user of various substances, and have only been addicted to something once, and it was quickly resolved. However, for the last month or so, I have been using Focalin (Dexmethylphenidate) for purposes other than my ADHD. I am prescribed 15mg per day. I allow it to add up for three or four days (dosing at 45-60mg) and insufflate it for both recreational purposes, studying, and to cope with depression. I also do this with my Ativan (Lorazepam), though I only rail one or two (each pill containing one milligram.) With this behavior I don't find that I 'crave' any of these substances when I don't use them, however it does concern me that I will build up a dependence for one or both of these medicines. And so here I am. Could somebody please tell me how much of a risk I am at for becoming addicted to these medications? And if I develop an addiction, how can I halt it before it becomes too big for me to handle? Thank you.
 
Psychological addiction can strike at any time you're using (or even before you ever tried the drug if you were enamored enough of the idea of the drug based on what you had read or heard about it at the time) and is the most difficult to treat much less cure.
Physical addiction takes longer to manifest itself and could possibly happen with the Ativan (lorazepam) you're using but not at such low doses as those.
Physical addiction to Focalin (dexmethylphenidate) does not occur.

Watch out, though, psychological addiction especially to something like Focalin is insidious, cunning, baffling, and powerful (to borrow an AA phrase), and once you know you have it, it is generally too late to do much about it.
 
The thing that struck me about your post was the addict slang that you used so casually. Generally people that don't have an addiction problem are unfamiliar with that slang, but I digress.

As has been already stated, addiction can strike at any moment. One of those times you go to use the backed up doses (assuming you're trying to get thru the whole scripts on time for new scripts to be written, and not run out early) you may decide that you'd like a little more, and there goes a dose or two more,..and so on and so forth.

If you're using your meds to self medicate and enjoying the recreational benefits, it really is pretty unpredictable. You're saying you're a pretty experienced user, so I'm wondering why you are unaware of the dangers and potential for dependence. I will say that if you get out of control with the ativan (certainly not at the level you're using it) that benzo withdrawal is something to be afraid of. Also, you may want to see doc to get the depression treated the proper way.
 
Really the only way to stop an addiction is to never start one. I've never messed with focalin before but stated above you can't really get physically dependent on it. Which is a good thing and your lorazepam is a different animal.. You say you ripping about 1mg of the Ativan, really that's not that bad. BUT when you start using more and more and using a stronger benzo you will be more at risk for becoming dependent on it. As like just about any narcotic. Like the fellas said before me try to stay away from using those substances if you worry about getting to dependent on that substance. If your going to use tho, we can help and give advise but we can't stop you from using...
 
Yep. Some people can handle dabbling in drugs for recreational purposes, others can't. You have to figure out which type you are. There are a ton of signs that you mean you're getting dependent and addicted. With what you're doing, the next step would be taking more and more of your monthly supply, instead of the amount you are currently. Although, I will say that the fact that you are able to go a few days without taking either takes some discipline for sure, so you have that going for you.

Like Madmike said, we can't control your actions, but we can try to point you in the right direction, and if you need more help, we can try to be of assistance.
 
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