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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

How many times a week can you actually take xanax?

Keif' Richards said:
I'm curious, why if you can moderate your usage so easily, do you even mess with these drugs at all? Most people who use Benzodiazepines intermittently do so for conditions like Panic Disorder/PTSD. You mentioned you like getting high off Benzodiazepines. This is where what you're writing and what, forgive me please, I feel the true nature of this situation is. I assume you're just now beginning to use them again after some abstinence. That is what I'm getting from the way you have worded things.

I talk about this a lot. I call this the "bargaining phase" to steal from the stages of grief. This is, as you have done here, when we have decided that we can't fully say no to a substance, we have given up on that idea, now we have to figure out how much we can take, the maximum, without anything terrible happening. I'm sure you're a smart individual. You likely know that this is heading for "everybody thought they had the answer, none did". Nobody who starts using any drug, I don't care who they are, does so believing that using that drug could lead to the catastrophic ruin of their entire life. Well shit, it happens anyway.

You really should think about just not using these. If you've enjoyed misusing them before, it is not impossible, but highly unlikely that you would be one of the few people to learn how to use these both chronically and effectively. If you have a panic attack once a month, fine. You can use Benzodiazepines probably your whole life with little incident. If you need them daily, say for a traumatic event in your life, 4 weeks maximum with the goal always being getting your strength back mentally with the Benzodiazepines helping you to do so.

I see others have provided estimates for your question. I honestly feel like I'd be doing you a major disservice by guessing at something that could ruin your life. Individual experience varies, addiction is always a possibility and nobody can answer a question of this gravity with the reciprocal level of surety.
Click to expand...
“The bargaining phase” is a very apt description for it lol
 
I’ve been on 0.5mg every night for sleep and anxiety almost 2 years now. I can easily take days off or with lower dosage 0.25 not a sign of WD’s.
It did really help me I’ve been diagnosed with GAD and I’ve probably have a couple of PTSD’s.
I was untreated for years and I was using weed and other stuff , it came to the point where anxiety panic and fear were unbearable. Doctor prescribed 0.5mg up to 3 times a day. I only use it at night for anxiety relief and slew it helped cut the other substances I may have a run here and there with opioids . But Xanax is my staple and safety net. I probably stay on it for my whole life doctor says it does me good and my usage it’s not problematic. I’ve not raise dosages ever I don’t need to.
 
Keif' Richards said:
I'm curious, why if you can moderate your usage so easily, do you even mess with these drugs at all? Most people who use Benzodiazepines intermittently do so for conditions like Panic Disorder/PTSD. You mentioned you like getting high off Benzodiazepines. This is where what you're writing and what, forgive me please, I feel the true nature of this situation is. I assume you're just now beginning to use them again after some abstinence. That is what I'm getting from the way you have worded things.

I talk about this a lot. I call this the "bargaining phase" to steal from the stages of grief. This is, as you have done here, when we have decided that we can't fully say no to a substance, we have given up on that idea, now we have to figure out how much we can take, the maximum, without anything terrible happening. I'm sure you're a smart individual. You likely know that this is heading for "everybody thought they had the answer, none did". Nobody who starts using any drug, I don't care who they are, does so believing that using that drug could lead to the catastrophic ruin of their entire life. Well shit, it happens anyway.

You really should think about just not using these. If you've enjoyed misusing them before, it is not impossible, but highly unlikely that you would be one of the few people to learn how to use these both chronically and effectively. If you have a panic attack once a month, fine. You can use Benzodiazepines probably your whole life with little incident. If you need them daily, say for a traumatic event in your life, 4 weeks maximum with the goal always being getting your strength back mentally with the Benzodiazepines helping you to do so.

I see others have provided estimates for your question. I honestly feel like I'd be doing you a major disservice by guessing at something that could ruin your life. Individual experience varies, addiction is always a possibility and nobody can answer a question of this gravity with the reciprocal level of surety.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the advice and yeah you are right in saying its probably best I dont use them.

Im just at an awkward phase in my life after being a mess for a few years (jumping between different drugs) and so Finding the reajustment phase to normal life weird (kind of would equate it to how you read about people find it awkward adjusting to normal life after being in prison). So my logic was to take low dose xanax maybe twice a week for job interviews etc.

I mean I just feel weird in basic situations now lol because for years I was basically a social recluse and the interactions I did have with other people were mainly when I was under the influence of drugs. Even being in the supermarket for the first time when its busy for example (although i would never take xanax for that). As a moderator and somebody who has seen allot of people with substance issues on here, is that something most people experience?
 
Last edited:
Hey @Okiv99 :)

First off, I want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with being confused. If you're asking me if I get what you're going through, then yes, I can literally go back and feel that feeling to this day; the one you describe regarding the confusion of moving between the world of substance dependency/sobriety. You are talking to a guy who knows exactly how it feels.

For me, the answer really was Cannabis. I don't want to act like that is a universal solution, but hear me out. I've always liked Cannabis. I've been a daily user for 24 years or so. I'm now feeling the weight of that statement and how fucking old I am (35). Anyway, I began using substances to regulate my mood and in turn my entire life experience since before I had even finished puberty. Furthermore, I required a lot of surgery growing up and was on Opioids off and on throughout.

After a while, when the heavy cravings were gone, I would get that sensation; usually following a moment of stress, where I would have that feeling "Oh man I need a shot right now". I can't drink Alcohol, as I am an extremely binge-drinker when I pick it up. Cannabis was a drug I could use, theoretically, as much as I wanted, without having to be concerned for consequences like withdrawal. Unlike say, Alcohol, I found Iwas able to take part in my 12-step stuff, go to work and generally not have any consequences from it.

Cannabis wasn't Heroin, but it became that in my mind. I would tell myself "you're gonna get your shot, chill out", then I would just smoke and after a while, I managed to completely substitute Cannabis in. To this day, I never really quit "addiction". I still might run for a smoke if I need one. The fact is, now I'm using somethingt that doesn't cause me to lose control and genuinely sates me.

If you are taking the drug for a definitive reason, like your job interview, there is a lot more room for justification. It may seem so trivial, but when you start taking the drug without a reason, you can justify taking it whenever you want.

I highly suggest finding something, and by that I am referring to another substance, that can help you in those moments of doubt and anxiety. Have you ever tried Kava? It's great, not harmful nor addictive. Also, don't discount the herbs man. You could find a nice tincture with some Lemon Balm, Passionflower, Valerian in one bottle, take a few drops under your tongue and you'll have some relief within minutes.

You may need a crutch man. That's my primary point. If you can't resist not using anything, then go for the thing that satisfies you with the least amonunt of collateral damage Let me know if you have any questions dude

Ryan
 
Keif' Richards said:
Hey @Okiv99 :)

First off, I want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with being confused. If you're asking me if I get what you're going through, then yes, I can literally go back and feel that feeling to this day; the one you describe regarding the confusion of moving between the world of substance dependency/sobriety. You are talking to a guy who knows exactly how it feels.

For me, the answer really was Cannabis. I don't want to act like that is a universal solution, but hear me out. I've always liked Cannabis. I've been a daily user for 24 years or so. I'm now feeling the weight of that statement and how fucking old I am (35). Anyway, I began using substances to regulate my mood and in turn my entire life experience since before I had even finished puberty. Furthermore, I required a lot of surgery growing up and was on Opioids off and on throughout.

After a while, when the heavy cravings were gone, I would get that sensation; usually following a moment of stress, where I would have that feeling "Oh man I need a shot right now". I can't drink Alcohol, as I am an extremely binge-drinker when I pick it up. Cannabis was a drug I could use, theoretically, as much as I wanted, without having to be concerned for consequences like withdrawal. Unlike say, Alcohol, I found Iwas able to take part in my 12-step stuff, go to work and generally not have any consequences from it.

Cannabis wasn't Heroin, but it became that in my mind. I would tell myself "you're gonna get your shot, chill out", then I would just smoke and after a while, I managed to completely substitute Cannabis in. To this day, I never really quit "addiction". I still might run for a smoke if I need one. The fact is, now I'm using somethingt that doesn't cause me to lose control and genuinely sates me.

If you are taking the drug for a definitive reason, like your job interview, there is a lot more room for justification. It may seem so trivial, but when you start taking the drug without a reason, you can justify taking it whenever you want.

I highly suggest finding something, and by that I am referring to another substance, that can help you in those moments of doubt and anxiety. Have you ever tried Kava? It's great, not harmful nor addictive. Also, don't discount the herbs man. You could find a nice tincture with some Lemon Balm, Passionflower, Valerian in one bottle, take a few drops under your tongue and you'll have some relief within minutes.

You may need a crutch man. That's my primary point. If you can't resist not using anything, then go for the thing that satisfies you with the least amonunt of collateral damage Let me know if you have any questions dude

Ryan
Click to expand...
I tried kratom, thinking it was like kava but got addicted to that. Idk guess i need to just try different things untill I find what works. Kinda developed an exercise addcition since quitting substances and been running+doing weights nearly every day. Ty so much for the advice, also would you recommmend aa meetings? i have 3 within walking distance of me but guess concerned it could end uo being a negative environment (because I used to see the alcoholics outside the shop at 6am).
 
Hey @Okiv99 I´m glad you got something out of my little spiel.

I have developed a philosophy of my own regarding sobriety over my years of success and failure. Bear in mind, Heroin was my drug of choice.

You need 3 things and you have to have all 3 or it just don´t work.

Medication - This can be temporary or permanent. For myself, this is largely based on Opioid maintenance, however, I also take a stimulant for ADHD. I also will take Pregabalin (Lyrica) intermittently when I need a little extra in my life for whatever reason (stress, hardship). I also use Clonidine (Catapres) for extremely stressful situations or when insomnia hits me. I´m also a daily user of Cannabis.

It´s really easy to look at me and say, ¨well, it´s easy for you because you never really got sober¨. I´m not at all a fan of that mentality. Success in life is not defined by the number of substances you take in a day. Success in life is defined by personal happiness/contentment, self-esteem, honesty and treating others with kindness and compassion. If a person is able to live in this way, I don´t care if they smoke Crack every day, in my eyes, they´re living.

You many need medication just to take the edge off of withdrawal symptoms. You may need medication on a more long-term basis to help keep you stable. For instance, if you´re a severe Fentanyl addict covered in wounds, I would say almost anything is an improvement. If you need to take 5 different drugs to break free from the street and start building, fucking take them and don´t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Honesty means you do not ever misuse your medication. You don´t give into cravings. Your usage of medication is not constantly in flux based upon trivial factors in your life. It is taken the way it is written and to misuse it is to no longer be sober. This is my point of view.

Accountability - You mentioned 12-Step Meetings. Let me make this clear, I do not feel the 12-Steps are a perfect program. Such a thing doesn´t exist I´m sure. The primary reason for attending meetings is to look at another human being and speak the Truth inside of you that you can´t tell anyone else. You don´t necessarily need to do the steps. If they work for you, I think they´re great.

You can´t be driving the ship. You can´t have secrets on top of secrets swirling in your head. You have to go an admit to another person exactly how petty, disgusting, dishonest and embarrassing you have been. If you´re like me, you will ¨come clean¨ regarding your dark behaviors. You will then realize that you´ve actually just shed one layer of lies and that there will be several more ¨coming clean¨ moments until you´re actually clean.

I had grown to lie to myself to such an extent that I was hardly a real person anymore. I was a teacher, I was relatively successful in my career, I think my students liked me, but inside, my soul was just completely black with the lies I had created to keep my addiction safe, then the lies I needed to tell myself just to get out of bed and not shoot myself in the head.

You will have a group of people, just as fucked up as you, with tales that are similar in theme, but with different actors. The people who love you and care about you are always going to be less likely to give you the tough love that you truly need. People that love you will often forgive and try to move on too quickly. You will try to move on too quickly. Your people in AA will be there to tell you when you´re being selfish/dishonest without pulling any punches

At first, this needs to happen in some form, every day. This can be either going to a meeting, doing one virtually or checking in with your sponsor. Every day, you need to clear the garbage out of your head. Cravings that go unaddressed fester in our minds. We feel embarrassed. We don´t want to admit to ourselves, to our loved ones that we are thnking about doing the thing that has ruined everything before. You bury it. The little secrets become bigger secrets. You need to have someone(s) in your life that you feel comfortable telling EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME.

Spirituality - This one is a little more abstract. Spirituality is not ¨religion¨. I´m not telling anyone to go to Church, however, Church can be and often is where people find and maintain their spirituality. I will attempt to define what this word means to me. Spirituality is knowing that I am alive, I have a purpose in this world and that there is a reason for everyone and everything in the world..

The next part is identifying what my purpose is. See, I´m an agnostic Jew. I ultimately do believe in some kind of ¨intelligent¨ design to the world we live in. Perhaps God is a highly complex mathematical equation. Perhaps he is an old(er) bearded white guy. Either way, I accept that there is a reason for everything, even if I cannot understand it.

I believe the greatest thing a person can do is to dedicate themselves to another. Doing good in the world is the purpose of being alive. My spiritual journey is the practice of dedicating more and more of myself to the world. I have been given help when I needed it... many times. I have been in situations in which the kindness of others was literally the difference between life and death.

I lived a life of general selfishness. I always had the mentality that I wanted to ¨give¨. I wanted to die having left the world a better place than I had found it. I had all of these lovely thoughts guiding my actions my whole life. The issue was, as soon as the dope-sickness came into play, I could push a grandma under the wheels of a city bus if it meant getting what I needed. This is an exaggeration of course, but the point is, everything that I claimed to believe in could be swept aside in an instant if I didn´t have drugs. What did that make me? A hypocrite? Yes, but also, just fake in every way.

Giving is only given if done freely and without the desire for recognition and reward. What I found in my journey of getting clean, was that there was no better kick than to help a person and see the happiness on their face. In a world where less and less is real, the feeling of helping another human being is something tangible.

I work in the human services field and my clientele are homeless/addicted/mentally ill... you get the idea. There are people who have become so devastated, so alienated that just to look them in the eyes, shake their hand and ask about their life with true sincerity; 2 minutes and a few words and that person doesn´t feel as alone, they feel like they´re alive. Most people are afraid to even look at him. He´s dirty, gross, he´ś gonna ask us for money or rob us if we make eye contact. You don´t need to give him money. A genuine conversation is free and means just as much.

This is me, I was an addict. I got help from people who gave their time, energy and their own spirituality in their attempts to help me. This fact, that these people were willing to drop everything to help me, a stranger who felt worthless, gave me faith. It gave me faith in those helping me. More importantly, my faith in human beings in general was restored. This is how spirituality comes into play. My faith in the world was restored by the dedication of these people. They told me that spreading the message was part of what kept them sober.

That resonated with me. I was already a frequent poster on Bluelight. I enjoyed trying to help people, but never understood that it was the good feels that really kept me coming back to the forums. To know I´ve helped make someone feel safe and secure or just emotionally supported; it´s a great feeling. Unlike all other kicks I had ever experimented with, I found genuine acts of compassion to be the only kick that doesn´t come with consequences.

Lastly, regarding meetings; it is most important that you have a place where you can be honest and seek help. It needs to be every day or every other day when you´re starting out. Once a week is just not gonna get you what you´re looking for. People need to know you and you them. This is why online meetings are great. They are always available anywhere, at any hour. If you´re going to meetings, I would suggest something like every other day in-person (ideally, every day). I don´t have experience with the other meeting systems. That´s not super important, as the key takeaway is that you need a place where you can Truth. This can be SMART, 12-Steps, whatever you like best and works the best.
 
Keif' Richards said:
Hey @Okiv99 I´m glad you got something out of my little spiel.

I have developed a philosophy of my own regarding sobriety over my years of success and failure. Bear in mind, Heroin was my drug of choice.

You need 3 things and you have to have all 3 or it just don´t work.

Medication - This can be temporary or permanent. For myself, this is largely based on Opioid maintenance, however, I also take a stimulant for ADHD. I also will take Pregabalin (Lyrica) intermittently when I need a little extra in my life for whatever reason (stress, hardship). I also use Clonidine (Catapres) for extremely stressful situations or when insomnia hits me. I´m also a daily user of Cannabis.

It´s really easy to look at me and say, ¨well, it´s easy for you because you never really got sober¨. I´m not at all a fan of that mentality. Success in life is not defined by the number of substances you take in a day. Success in life is defined by personal happiness/contentment, self-esteem, honesty and treating others with kindness and compassion. If a person is able to live in this way, I don´t care if they smoke Crack every day, in my eyes, they´re living.

You many need medication just to take the edge off of withdrawal symptoms. You may need medication on a more long-term basis to help keep you stable. For instance, if you´re a severe Fentanyl addict covered in wounds, I would say almost anything is an improvement. If you need to take 5 different drugs to break free from the street and start building, fucking take them and don´t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Honesty means you do not ever misuse your medication. You don´t give into cravings. Your usage of medication is not constantly in flux based upon trivial factors in your life. It is taken the way it is written and to misuse it is to no longer be sober. This is my point of view.

Accountability - You mentioned 12-Step Meetings. Let me make this clear, I do not feel the 12-Steps are a perfect program. Such a thing doesn´t exist I´m sure. The primary reason for attending meetings is to look at another human being and speak the Truth inside of you that you can´t tell anyone else. You don´t necessarily need to do the steps. If they work for you, I think they´re great.

You can´t be driving the ship. You can´t have secrets on top of secrets swirling in your head. You have to go an admit to another person exactly how petty, disgusting, dishonest and embarrassing you have been. If you´re like me, you will ¨come clean¨ regarding your dark behaviors. You will then realize that you´ve actually just shed one layer of lies and that there will be several more ¨coming clean¨ moments until you´re actually clean.

I had grown to lie to myself to such an extent that I was hardly a real person anymore. I was a teacher, I was relatively successful in my career, I think my students liked me, but inside, my soul was just completely black with the lies I had created to keep my addiction safe, then the lies I needed to tell myself just to get out of bed and not shoot myself in the head.

You will have a group of people, just as fucked up as you, with tales that are similar in theme, but with different actors. The people who love you and care about you are always going to be less likely to give you the tough love that you truly need. People that love you will often forgive and try to move on too quickly. You will try to move on too quickly. Your people in AA will be there to tell you when you´re being selfish/dishonest without pulling any punches

At first, this needs to happen in some form, every day. This can be either going to a meeting, doing one virtually or checking in with your sponsor. Every day, you need to clear the garbage out of your head. Cravings that go unaddressed fester in our minds. We feel embarrassed. We don´t want to admit to ourselves, to our loved ones that we are thnking about doing the thing that has ruined everything before. You bury it. The little secrets become bigger secrets. You need to have someone(s) in your life that you feel comfortable telling EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME.

Spirituality - This one is a little more abstract. Spirituality is not ¨religion¨. I´m not telling anyone to go to Church, however, Church can be and often is where people find and maintain their spirituality. I will attempt to define what this word means to me. Spirituality is knowing that I am alive, I have a purpose in this world and that there is a reason for everyone and everything in the world..

The next part is identifying what my purpose is. See, I´m an agnostic Jew. I ultimately do believe in some kind of ¨intelligent¨ design to the world we live in. Perhaps God is a highly complex mathematical equation. Perhaps he is an old(er) bearded white guy. Either way, I accept that there is a reason for everything, even if I cannot understand it.

I believe the greatest thing a person can do is to dedicate themselves to another. Doing good in the world is the purpose of being alive. My spiritual journey is the practice of dedicating more and more of myself to the world. I have been given help when I needed it... many times. I have been in situations in which the kindness of others was literally the difference between life and death.

I lived a life of general selfishness. I always had the mentality that I wanted to ¨give¨. I wanted to die having left the world a better place than I had found it. I had all of these lovely thoughts guiding my actions my whole life. The issue was, as soon as the dope-sickness came into play, I could push a grandma under the wheels of a city bus if it meant getting what I needed. This is an exaggeration of course, but the point is, everything that I claimed to believe in could be swept aside in an instant if I didn´t have drugs. What did that make me? A hypocrite? Yes, but also, just fake in every way.

Giving is only given if done freely and without the desire for recognition and reward. What I found in my journey of getting clean, was that there was no better kick than to help a person and see the happiness on their face. In a world where less and less is real, the feeling of helping another human being is something tangible.

I work in the human services field and my clientele are homeless/addicted/mentally ill... you get the idea. There are people who have become so devastated, so alienated that just to look them in the eyes, shake their hand and ask about their life with true sincerity; 2 minutes and a few words and that person doesn´t feel as alone, they feel like they´re alive. Most people are afraid to even look at him. He´s dirty, gross, he´ś gonna ask us for money or rob us if we make eye contact. You don´t need to give him money. A genuine conversation is free and means just as much.

This is me, I was an addict. I got help from people who gave their time, energy and their own spirituality in their attempts to help me. This fact, that these people were willing to drop everything to help me, a stranger who felt worthless, gave me faith. It gave me faith in those helping me. More importantly, my faith in human beings in general was restored. This is how spirituality comes into play. My faith in the world was restored by the dedication of these people. They told me that spreading the message was part of what kept them sober.

That resonated with me. I was already a frequent poster on Bluelight. I enjoyed trying to help people, but never understood that it was the good feels that really kept me coming back to the forums. To know I´ve helped make someone feel safe and secure or just emotionally supported; it´s a great feeling. Unlike all other kicks I had ever experimented with, I found genuine acts of compassion to be the only kick that doesn´t come with consequences.

Lastly, regarding meetings; it is most important that you have a place where you can be honest and seek help. It needs to be every day or every other day when you´re starting out. Once a week is just not gonna get you what you´re looking for. People need to know you and you them. This is why online meetings are great. They are always available anywhere, at any hour. If you´re going to meetings, I would suggest something like every other day in-person (ideally, every day). I don´t have experience with the other meeting systems. That´s not super important, as the key takeaway is that you need a place where you can Truth. This can be SMART, 12-Steps, whatever you like best and works the best.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for the help and advice. This is the first major piece of advice ive had on what changes need to be made/done to quit while before I was just poicking up things here and their from old bluelight and reddit posts.

I really appreciate it man, more then you know.
 
Stassi202 said:
The more you take the more you need, the worse the withdrawal becomes which causes seizures and can kill you. Everyone is different so who knows how many times you can take it…but trust me, it is the worst withdrawal imo…I never listened to the warnings. I always had to find out for myself, because no two experiences are the same
Click to expand...
the higher dose you are on, the less you have mental capacities to deal with life and thrive in life also.

then it becomes chore to argue to yourself to not escalate the dose every day as everything starts to feel dull. Which causes anxiety. Add in some interdose withdrawals and so many people end up escalating the dose over years.

Not necessarily how it goes for everyone, but for some, it is really difficult to avoid this trajectory.
 
Best of luck!! Sounds like an increase to me --- plus halflife. You got good game!!

My rule for benzos was half for use and half for tapering off. Recreational benzo's that is. Otherwise take as prescribed if not less than to hedge your bets against a doctor cutoff situation
 
If you folks like benzos, Next time your in the ICU hopefully they put you on it. Precedex (dexmedetomidine) is a highly selective alpha-2 adrenergic agonist. It is 8 times stronger than Clonidine and has a high affinity for the alpha-3 receptors, Very good stuff. take a reas.


tIt produces sedation, analgesia, and anxiolysis without significant respiratory depression. It acts primarily in the brain's locus coeruleus by inhibiting norepinephrine release, inducing a state resembling natural sleep.

Off-Lable Uses : Expanded Uses: Managing alcohol withdrawal, treating insomnia, adjunctive pain relief, and potentially preventing delirium

Key Aspects of Mechanism and Action:
  • Central Nervous System (CNS): It binds to
    𝛼2
    -adrenergic receptors, reducing sympathetic nervous system outflow. This decreases neuronal firing and promotes inhibitory GABA neuron activity.
  • Sedation Profile:
    Unlike other sedatives, it induces a state of "arousable sedation" (similar to stage II sleep), allowing patients to remain responsive.
    • Analgesia: It provides pain relief by acting on
      𝛼2
      -receptors in the spinal cord and by inhibiting norepinephrine, reducing pain signal propagation.
    • Hemodynamic Effects: It commonly causes bradycardia and hypotension due to reduced sympathetic tone.
    • Uses: It is primarily used for short-term, intravenous sedation of intubated patients in intensive care, or for procedural sedation.
    • Administration: It is administered via continuous intravenous infusion, often with an initial loading dose followed by maintenance, allowing for rapid onset and titration.
Key Drug Interactions:
  • Sedatives/Opioids: It has synergistic effects with anesthetics, sedatives, and opioids, which can enhance sedation and reduce the need for higher opioid doses.
  • Cardiovascular Agents: Its bradycardic and hypotensive effects can be enhanced when used with other agents that lower heart rate or blood pressure, such as beta-blockers or calcium channel blockers

Dexmedetomidine: a novel sedative-analgesic agent - PMC

Since the first report of clonidine, an α2-adrenoceptor agonist, the indications for this class of drugs have continued to expand. In December 1999, dexmedetomidine was approved as the most recent agent in this group and was introduced into clinical ...
pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
 
Keif' Richards said:
Hey @Okiv99 I´m glad you got something out of my little spiel.

I have developed a philosophy of my own regarding sobriety over my years of success and failure. Bear in mind, Heroin was my drug of choice.

You need 3 things and you have to have all 3 or it just don´t work.

Medication - This can be temporary or permanent. For myself, this is largely based on Opioid maintenance, however, I also take a stimulant for ADHD. I also will take Pregabalin (Lyrica) intermittently when I need a little extra in my life for whatever reason (stress, hardship). I also use Clonidine (Catapres) for extremely stressful situations or when insomnia hits me. I´m also a daily user of Cannabis.

It´s really easy to look at me and say, ¨well, it´s easy for you because you never really got sober¨. I´m not at all a fan of that mentality. Success in life is not defined by the number of substances you take in a day. Success in life is defined by personal happiness/contentment, self-esteem, honesty and treating others with kindness and compassion. If a person is able to live in this way, I don´t care if they smoke Crack every day, in my eyes, they´re living.

You many need medication just to take the edge off of withdrawal symptoms. You may need medication on a more long-term basis to help keep you stable. For instance, if you´re a severe Fentanyl addict covered in wounds, I would say almost anything is an improvement. If you need to take 5 different drugs to break free from the street and start building, fucking take them and don´t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Honesty means you do not ever misuse your medication. You don´t give into cravings. Your usage of medication is not constantly in flux based upon trivial factors in your life. It is taken the way it is written and to misuse it is to no longer be sober. This is my point of view.

Accountability - You mentioned 12-Step Meetings. Let me make this clear, I do not feel the 12-Steps are a perfect program. Such a thing doesn´t exist I´m sure. The primary reason for attending meetings is to look at another human being and speak the Truth inside of you that you can´t tell anyone else. You don´t necessarily need to do the steps. If they work for you, I think they´re great.

You can´t be driving the ship. You can´t have secrets on top of secrets swirling in your head. You have to go an admit to another person exactly how petty, disgusting, dishonest and embarrassing you have been. If you´re like me, you will ¨come clean¨ regarding your dark behaviors. You will then realize that you´ve actually just shed one layer of lies and that there will be several more ¨coming clean¨ moments until you´re actually clean.

I had grown to lie to myself to such an extent that I was hardly a real person anymore. I was a teacher, I was relatively successful in my career, I think my students liked me, but inside, my soul was just completely black with the lies I had created to keep my addiction safe, then the lies I needed to tell myself just to get out of bed and not shoot myself in the head.

You will have a group of people, just as fucked up as you, with tales that are similar in theme, but with different actors. The people who love you and care about you are always going to be less likely to give you the tough love that you truly need. People that love you will often forgive and try to move on too quickly. You will try to move on too quickly. Your people in AA will be there to tell you when you´re being selfish/dishonest without pulling any punches

At first, this needs to happen in some form, every day. This can be either going to a meeting, doing one virtually or checking in with your sponsor. Every day, you need to clear the garbage out of your head. Cravings that go unaddressed fester in our minds. We feel embarrassed. We don´t want to admit to ourselves, to our loved ones that we are thnking about doing the thing that has ruined everything before. You bury it. The little secrets become bigger secrets. You need to have someone(s) in your life that you feel comfortable telling EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME.

Spirituality - This one is a little more abstract. Spirituality is not ¨religion¨. I´m not telling anyone to go to Church, however, Church can be and often is where people find and maintain their spirituality. I will attempt to define what this word means to me. Spirituality is knowing that I am alive, I have a purpose in this world and that there is a reason for everyone and everything in the world..

The next part is identifying what my purpose is. See, I´m an agnostic Jew. I ultimately do believe in some kind of ¨intelligent¨ design to the world we live in. Perhaps God is a highly complex mathematical equation. Perhaps he is an old(er) bearded white guy. Either way, I accept that there is a reason for everything, even if I cannot understand it.

I believe the greatest thing a person can do is to dedicate themselves to another. Doing good in the world is the purpose of being alive. My spiritual journey is the practice of dedicating more and more of myself to the world. I have been given help when I needed it... many times. I have been in situations in which the kindness of others was literally the difference between life and death.

I lived a life of general selfishness. I always had the mentality that I wanted to ¨give¨. I wanted to die having left the world a better place than I had found it. I had all of these lovely thoughts guiding my actions my whole life. The issue was, as soon as the dope-sickness came into play, I could push a grandma under the wheels of a city bus if it meant getting what I needed. This is an exaggeration of course, but the point is, everything that I claimed to believe in could be swept aside in an instant if I didn´t have drugs. What did that make me? A hypocrite? Yes, but also, just fake in every way.

Giving is only given if done freely and without the desire for recognition and reward. What I found in my journey of getting clean, was that there was no better kick than to help a person and see the happiness on their face. In a world where less and less is real, the feeling of helping another human being is something tangible.

I work in the human services field and my clientele are homeless/addicted/mentally ill... you get the idea. There are people who have become so devastated, so alienated that just to look them in the eyes, shake their hand and ask about their life with true sincerity; 2 minutes and a few words and that person doesn´t feel as alone, they feel like they´re alive. Most people are afraid to even look at him. He´s dirty, gross, he´ś gonna ask us for money or rob us if we make eye contact. You don´t need to give him money. A genuine conversation is free and means just as much.

This is me, I was an addict. I got help from people who gave their time, energy and their own spirituality in their attempts to help me. This fact, that these people were willing to drop everything to help me, a stranger who felt worthless, gave me faith. It gave me faith in those helping me. More importantly, my faith in human beings in general was restored. This is how spirituality comes into play. My faith in the world was restored by the dedication of these people. They told me that spreading the message was part of what kept them sober.

That resonated with me. I was already a frequent poster on Bluelight. I enjoyed trying to help people, but never understood that it was the good feels that really kept me coming back to the forums. To know I´ve helped make someone feel safe and secure or just emotionally supported; it´s a great feeling. Unlike all other kicks I had ever experimented with, I found genuine acts of compassion to be the only kick that doesn´t come with consequences.

Lastly, regarding meetings; it is most important that you have a place where you can be honest and seek help. It needs to be every day or every other day when you´re starting out. Once a week is just not gonna get you what you´re looking for. People need to know you and you them. This is why online meetings are great. They are always available anywhere, at any hour. If you´re going to meetings, I would suggest something like every other day in-person (ideally, every day). I don´t have experience with the other meeting systems. That´s not super important, as the key takeaway is that you need a place where you can Truth. This can be SMART, 12-Steps, whatever you like best and works the best.
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Spectacularly well-written
 
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