GodSpeedK
Bluelighter
Turned 23 on the 2nd and am still living with my parents. Pfft. It really is pathetic. Ah well, totally my own fault for fucking around during exams and not doing well enough to get into Uni (not that that is the answer to all problems - but it's certainly a step up and a good opportunity to become independent). I've got a job, but it pays terribly, so I'm still stuck at home. There are times when it depresses me immensely; usually when my parents express their disappointment and frustration at my lack of ambition. But usually, we get on fairly well and I'm reasonably happy. Although it's totally killed my social/sex life. When everyone made the jump to higher education and moved to different cities, it became hard to remain as close as we used to be. Especially as most people are fickle and go through friends like pairs of socks. The summer was pretty much one of the most boring summers I've had in years. So reclusive. Drugs are totally responsible for perpetuating this situation, as they make the situation bearable. Otherwise boredom may have spurned me on to actually get the fuck out and do something with my life. Although, that's just such a simplistic way of viewing things. I have passions and interests, but it's still not easy applying them to employment when I still feel so inexperienced, stupid, and ignorant about how society works and how I'm meant to fashion a career out for myself. Anxiety and shitty confidence also plays a big part. With that said, I'm not trying to sugar-coat my extreme laziness, that has undoubtedly been the main reason for my situation as of now. It's pretty shameful looking back on how I've wasted my time since hitting my teens.
Regret and guilt...I was warned! Just didn't pay attention.
Regret and guilt...I was warned! Just didn't pay attention.