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How many people have you had sex with?

1) How many sexual partners have you had?
somewhere between 30-33 (6-8 of which were in 3/4 somes over a decade ago now)

2) What is your age? male

3) What is your sex? early 50's

4) Raver? Went a a fair few jungle raves back in the day, and even more free festivals and then free parties, but never identified culturally as a 'raver' no.
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
1) How many sexual partners have you had?
somewhere between 30-33 (6-8 of which were in 3/4 somes over a decade ago now)

2) What is your age? male

3) What is your sex? early 50's

4) Raver? Went a a fair few jungle raves back in the day, and even more free festivals and then free parties, but never identified culturally as a 'raver' no.
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You're in your early 50s? Don't trigger my daddy issues please and thank you.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
You're in your early 50s? Don't trigger my daddy issues please and thank you.
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I am in my early 50's yes.

Your daddy issue are yours, not mine. Just as my 'inflexible religious extremist' issues are mine and not yours, and why I don't hold you responsible for triggering them
:)
 
Only one that I actually wanted to (my soulmate, ofc)
The rest were all either a) I felt pressured into it, b) money/drugs c) rape

Until I had sex with my soulmate (that's the only appropriate word, and even if he's dead I'm not gonna use people's real name here) I 100% honestly believed that love and sex were two completely unrelated things. Like one was all about lust/power and one was all about feelings/romance.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
Only one that I actually wanted to (my soulmate, ofc)
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Now that I think of it I actually got this same and it wasnt even a soulmate, just a really interesting girl who happened to be interested in me.
Also me having sex = enough problems for months lol.
The only person Id imagine would be something currently seems to be my best friend, but Im not even interested in him sexually. Just mentally.
Im not gonna fuck anyone for a while so I have time to fuck my life lol.
 
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schizopath said:
Now that I think of it I actually got this same and it wasnt even a soulmate, just a really interesting girl who happened to be interested in me.
Also me having sex = enough problems for months lol.
The only person Id imagine would be something currently seems to be my best friend, but Im not even interested in him sexually. Just mentally.
Im not gonna fuck anyone for a while so I have time to fuck my life lol.
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I get you there. With my soulmate, like..he was more like a part time lover and a part time friend. He was straight and I wasn't sexually attracted to him. But we both had very strong romantic feeling for eachother that went much deeper than just "bromance". Like, we used to hold hands and make out a lot and we'd sleep in the same bed spooning. We did have sex a few time, but it was more of an incredible closeness.
Sex was more an expression of how much we loved eachother than a lust-thing.

I'd happily give up sex forever for just one day with him again.
I've found I have dreams where we're together again when I OD on benzo's and opiates. Like the time my heart has stopped and I've had to be brought back by paramedics. I think maybe I'm glimpsing heaven when I die? Which is weird 'cause I'm an atheist.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
I get you there. With my soulmate, like..he was more like a part time lover and a part time friend. He was straight and I wasn't sexually attracted to him. But we both had very strong romantic feeling for eachother that went much deeper than just "bromance". Like, we used to hold hands and make out a lot and we'd sleep in the same bed spooning. We did have sex a few time, but it was more of an incredible closeness.
Sex was more an expression of how much we loved eachother than a lust-thing.

I'd happily give up sex forever for just one day with him again.
I've found I have dreams where we're together again when I OD on benzo's and opiates. Like the time my heart has stopped and I've had to be brought back by paramedics. I think maybe I'm glimpsing heaven when I die? Which is weird 'cause I'm an atheist.
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I feel this. My friend is straight too(?) and we have talked about our romantic feelings etc. Like we have told each other many times "I love you" even when sober and slept together etc.
I feel that we are both now scared by the fact and our relationship is currently little on the rocks by the shit that has happened. I told him few days back that Im gonna get mdma and he wanted it too, so Im gonna ask him if he wants to do it together.
Maybe drugs just "open the heaven in you" or something. Were you on drugs alot when you were with him? The brain could remember those times... maybe.
I personally get incredibly weird dreams often when Im on drugs and comedowns and the only clear thing in them seems to be that Im seriously fucked up in my head :ROFLMAO:
 
schizopath said:
I feel this. My friend is straight too(?) and we have talked about our romantic feelings etc. Like we have told each other many times "I love you" even when sober and slept together etc.
I feel that we are both now scared by the fact and our relationship is currently little on the rocks by the shit that has happened. I told him few days back that Im gonna get mdma and he wanted it too, so Im gonna ask him if he wants to do it together.
Maybe drugs just "open the heaven in you" or something. Were you on drugs alot when you were with him? The brain could remember those times... maybe.
I personally get incredibly weird dreams often when Im on drugs and comedowns and the only clear thing in them seems to be that Im seriously fucked up in my head :ROFLMAO:
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No, it was my only clean-from-drugs period. I OD'd once and he begged me to stop and I just...did. Cold turkey. Never touched them again (until I massively relapsed the day he died). We were both alcoholics toward the end, but he didn't drink much at first (that's how he died and how I basically caused it...we decided to go cold-turkey on alcohol together - always fucking stupid - so we stayed in bed in a hotel for a while to detox...I woke up on the morning of day three and he was dead on the floor...apparently he'd gotten up in the night to go to the bathroom and died of a massive seizure 😢

MDMA sounds like a good idea. As an empathogen it'll sure help bring your true emotions out and help you understand them more.
 
Wow. That sounds horrible. I cant even comprehend that fucking event, but if I were you I would simply try to accept that it happened. I dont see you as the one to blame. Just fucking life.

My friends, surprisingly, bad alcoholic too and has said that he wants to die before turning 40 and stuff. I introduced him to drugs and the circles. He has seen me getting beaten and got ptsd from all of the stuff that has happened and it was pretty much all my stupidity. So I get you. I really do. But I know your soulmate wouldnt want you to blame yourself😭
 
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schizopath said:
Wow. That sounds horrible. I cant even comprehend that fucking event, but if I were you I would simply try to accept that it happened. I dont see you as the one to blame. Just fucking life.

My friends, surprisingly, bad alcoholic too and has said that he wants to die before turning 40 and stuff. I introduced him to drugs and the circles. He has seen me getting beaten and got ptsd from all of the stuff that has happened and it was pretty much all my stupidity. So I get you. I really do. But I know your soulmate wouldnt want you to blame yourself😭
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I always thought being raped by [an authority figured I should have been able to trust] on a school trip to France on my 13th Birthday was the worse that that would ever happen to me...but I would happily relive that event every day if I could just have my soulmate back.
I do try and accept it and it's been 5 years but I just can't. If I don't take handfuls of pills all the time I get kinda hysterical about it. I don't even want to find someone else. It would be like eating a week-old big mac once you've had a £2000 steak.

Really sorry something similar has been happening to you *hugs*. Has he agreed to the MDMA and chat? Even if he doesn't want the drugs, that talk still sounds really important...don't forget, something amazing could come of it! :)
A few drinks helps, too (but not TOO much or you'll both later blame it on "being drunk"...even though, IMO, being drunk mostly makes you do stuff you already want to do but don't have the balls or low enough inhibitions to do sober).

I know how he feels. I wanted to die, too. And all the specialists told me I would never make it to 25 the way I was going (still 18 months to go!). They've given me until 30 now I've quit drinking.

EDIT: I barely remember the event myself...I just remember feeling very numb and I could hear someone screaming and wishing they would shut up because they were hurting my ears. And then the hotel staff broke the door down and I realized it was me screaming and the police/paramedics sedated me because I wouldn't shut up or let them take the body. I think I was catatonic for a while because then it was 6 days later and I was in the Acute Mental Health Ward.
 
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