I almost went onto reference how Michael is associated with police, military, firefighters. But, I had to get back to driving.
My story involved a "voice" calling me, or saying "Sheriff", shortly after the man asking me if my name was Michael, after I realized I lost my I.D., after I got a "wrong" order, that was going to an "Angel" in "New Jersey" (new name/title?). This voice has been accurate, voicing things that would be mirrored, specially, in my near future, or hinting at things I didn't otherwise have conscious awareness of, or couldn't.
Around this time, perhaps it was the same night, but later, or perhaps the next- I can't remember exactly, I became angry, and wanted validation. I have insecurity. So I want validation. I wrote that I wanted "worship". That I know I shouldn't, but I wanted it. I was at, or was about to be at a gas station, and when I got there and got out, around the same time as I put the pump to my tank, or something synchronous I can't really remember-- The beginning or end of an action, a number of cops "rushed" in on the lot. It wasn't an emergency, but they drove aggressively. The pumps were empty, except myself, and suddenly there were many squad cars there in the lot. It was just how it went together, and how closely it happened. Yes, could just be "coincidence" or nothing, but I felt served. I felt in the control of things, for what I asked, and how I associated Cops, with Michael (or Michael with cops, at their best, at least). The energy was high. It was synchronous, with movement, and thought.
This is some of what I initially began to write, in the previous post.
I wouldn't have included it, had more not happened.
Talking about it, then getting back to my final drop off point, to return containers to the hub, I am followed by what appears to be a police car, after turning onto Crosspoint. It turns out not to be a cop. The headlights looked like one. I pull into the lot, near the dock. John's van is there. I unload my totes and sit them at the door, and then I start walking to the side of the building, to relieve myself, but then I see lights- a car turning onto the road nearby, so I halt, and watch. This is a cop, in a grey, unmarked car, tinted windows... I know it's a cop because of the antennas on the back. I get inside, and John mentions another cop that drove by, shining lights on the building, when he was out smoking a cigarette.
I go on my way after filing my paperwork. A 20 minute drive home. 10 minutes on the interstate, about. Getting off of the interstate, and at the light, a squad car pulls up beside me. We both turn left. He and I go down Meridian, him flying, me behind a ways, and he turns right at my turn, where I also turn right. At my next turn, where I would turn left, I almost decide to go straight. I keep forgetting that my apartment is now easier accessed from the next turn. But a cop is opposite me in the intersection, so I decide not to make a sudden change. I don't like drawing too much attention when driving, not that I've anything to hide. We both make our turns, both left turns. He pulls into the gas station where all the cops pulled in, in the story I was going to tell, and I see three squad cars down the road with their lights on, opposite side of the road. Some black SUV slammed into a pole, the front end smashed in about 3 feet or so.
Could be nothing. But suddenly, they were everywhere, when I was going to tell a story about when they were everywhere.
I have some involving Gabriel, as well. I was selling pizzas at an apartment complex about 4-5 years ago. I ran out/didn't have the ones some people wanted. They were special kinds. Two Hispanic men came to me, at different times. I had them write their names, and numbers on a sheet of paper, so I could get them their orders. One's name was Angel. The next's name was Gabriel (or reverse that). It had been raining all day. Gabriel is associated with water, for one.
I saw for the first time, a certain Gabrielle, on the birthday of the last girl I fell in love with, Donna. I met Donna on 1/23 (this number, again). I saw Gabrielle on her birthday, 5/30, that year, 2009, at a Nine Inch Nails concert. As I entered the main amphitheater area, I found myself walking directly behind her. She had been in my favorites, on MySpace, for a long time- over a year at that point. I hadn't friended her. She didn't know I existed. But I knew who she was from the back/side angle. A storm happened that night, at the concert. A tornado was spotted a few miles form there, and the rain was coming down, during. I asked her the next day, through message, if she was at the concert, sure she was. She replied only with her number. Perhaps she said, "call me". I did, some days later. And on that day, a close friend- basically family member, someone she called her uncle, died. And I visited her on the day of his funeral, going to a town I don't clearly recall ever going to, an hour away, and parking my car right next to the restaurant that she had planned to take me to. It didn't have a sign, so I couldn't have known. I ended up parking in front of a storage shed. We had lunch. And after, she hugged me, and we hung out for a moment. I was really sexually attracted to her, but still hung up on Donna, for one. They both had red hair. I had a thing for red-heads.
During our hug, I looked to my left, or right, and saw that I had parked directly in front of shed 203. 23, 203, anything 23, in the certain moment, it connects. Where else could I have been? Donna and I, we ended over a miscommunication, to do with helping her remove things from storage. It occurred 203 weeks before 12/21/2012, a date I was looking forward to (and was paid 1221.52 on a check dated for, and Donna's last name, is Price, eh- It means enthusiasm). 161 weeks before I met Donna, was December 23rd, 2005, which was just about the time, for Christmas, that my ex (my first red-head, to have romantic involvement with) gave me a watch, and framed some important art. My birth corresponds to these numbers, in that I was born when 161 full days had passed in the year, and 203 days remained in the year (my b-day as 0 day, for me). As well I was born exactly 23 weeks into the year, and I met Donna on the 23rd day of the year, and her name, given my mother's name, has the same numerical value if letters are summed A=1 and Z=26. The art that was framed, was prints 26/100. There is a lot of numbering involved. Many will critique me for this. I'm just trying to make sense of things.
Donna played one song when we were together, for the week that we were talking. She played it as soon as I entered, after I had taken a break to be alone/gather my thoughts, and take a shower, and feed the cat- Bob. Peter Gabriel, "In Your Eyes", was the song. I didn't know the song had meaning, for what I had done. "I drive off, in my car...". She was beautiful. She was the longest I ever stared into someone's eyes. It was something she instructed of me, the first night together. To this day I probably haven't locked eyes with another, longer.
It's long past. I still have connections with her, with my thoughts. I'll think things, I'll do things, and she'll provide an answer, or communicate, somehow, or mirror. But so does my reality.
We went to a bookstore, and the first book that I picked up, was a book called
Letter Perfect: The Marvelous History of Our Alphabet From A to Z. She was, with me. She put her hand on my shoulder, for a moment, as I was kneeled down looking through it. I was on the letter E-- E the first letter that I wrote in my life, that I remember. A string of loops, as my mother had just taught me, I remember clearly. I was no more than age 3, or so... Maybe four. And here, this one, with letters, that could sum to the same as my mom? And the letter J, in this book, begins on page 184- which is this number. J begins my name.
Messengers. Messages. The Word.
Gabrielle, who I saw first on Donna's birthday, last contacted me on my birthday, 6/11, wishing me a happy birthday. I never spoke with her again. She was painting me a picture, I think. I didn't want to lead her on. I wasn't available.
I have more that I could write, but I'll leave this, for now.
Ah... Michael Trent Reznor is Nine Inch Nails. So I saw Gabrielle at Michael's concert. I should include that. And Michelle was the last girl I slept with, before meeting Donna. A neighbor lived below me around the time of Donna, or moved in. His name was Michael Mitchell. Both names are of Michael. He was a musician, and was a manager at a guitar shop. His dog, Apollo, would wake me up in the mornings, with his barking, and Michael (who went by Clay), would say "Apollo!", to get him to be quiet. My next apartment that I moved to, a guy, also below me, I never seem to commit his name to memory, and don't know off hand, but when I met him, he told me his band was "The Michaels". My friend, Michael, had me as his best man at his wedding. He's an F/A-18E pilot now. The one time I saw him in a jet, he had landed in my city from training out West, on his way back East. The name on his jet, was Jeff (My name) Trent, and NIN resonating as a favorite sound of mine, I thought this special. I got my first blowjob/ejaculated for the first time in a girl, at Michael's church, in the parking lot, inside the mouth of a girl with a name that means "God's satisfaction", listening to the 23rd song on a Nine Inch Nails album. When Michael landed, that day, we went out to eat, and the girl who took our order was Cassie ("She who entangles men"), who was my second girlfriend. It was a surprise to see her, as I we didn't know she worked here, and it had been since high school that we saw her. This is a different city, as well.
I got with her while with her best friend, Kristin- Kristin who was my first girlfriend, in the fourth grade. They both asked me out- one one day and one the next, and I said yes to both. Kristin, the first one, I found out later in life that she and I share a birthday. With "Christ",
Crystal was the only girl I connected with sexually, from the church that I grew up in. With Christ, Christina was the first neighbor that I had, that was near my age, and was the first girl that I saw naked outside of my family, and first I talked about marriage with. We were around 5. Christopher Dick***** was the first time I had a person-person sexual experience, in the 2nd or 3rd grade. He put his mouth around me, down there. And I reciprocated. The next, was Michael. Another Michael. Then another Michael moved from England, who shared or had a birthday very near this Michael, as they joined birthday parties. Michael and I were the first to befriend Michael from England. Michael stayed for the second and third grade, then his family moved back to England.
I know this is convoluted. It could be more.
Kassandra/Cassandra is also Donna's mother's name (unless its Alexandra, as Sandra). Cassie, like Cassie Coldren, who I mention above, is short for this name. A picture of Donna's mother looks like my cousin, Cassandra. Again, Cassandra, "she who entangles men". To go along with the number 23, in our language W is the 23rd letter of the alphabet. Cassiopeia is of the same as Cassie/Kassandra. Cassiopeia, the constellation, is generally shaped like a W, in this alphabet. To pre-emptively win any argument that should arise about how many languages their are, and how short sighted I might be to only use this one here (and why it might matter, not that another might not), this is the standard language of the planet at this time, and standard alphabet... The most used, at this time, that I am able to write this message. ...If you look at Cassiopeia, the constellation in the sky, to then look directly behind you, if you could see through the planet, you would find yourself looking at Alpha Centauri, which contains within it's system, the
closest star to our own. From it, we appear in this constellation.
I wrote a long story- a blog about a dream of when I went outside of the planet. When I was among the stars. Dream. Real. I don't know. Dream and real. It was a three part blog entry, on here. And then Donna posted a picture, for her background, of stars.
I listened to a song, "In her eyes, she turns light into color, in a room full of rainbows..." a lyric that repeats throughout. Donna posts a picture of the spectrum of color, within minutes.
Michael, the one who I was best man for his wedding, for, married Ashley. Michael, for one, is associated with fire, as an Angel, like Gabriel is to water. Ash, he called her.
Muhammad allegedly received the Koran from Gabriel over a period of 23 years.
Donna was the first time I understood why women wear masks. She was so beautiful. It's misunderstood.
MASK are first name initials of girls I have been in relationships with, who I have invested myself into. Syllables in all four full names as they were comes to 23, for one.
Mask is another name for my last name.
Sometimes I feel like they got me like
Or she does. I'm not sure who, really. LOL.
