- Joined
- Apr 4, 2006
- Messages
- 19,538
I wake up out of a nightmarish sleep. How long have i been out for? 12 hours maybe. I haven't had any opiates in 2 days or so besides a few 30mg codeine pills so i knocked myself out the night before with temazepam, clonazepam, gabapentin and seroquel. I look over at my g/f and she is still sleeping soundly as she had a shot of dilaudid before bed. I gave her my last 4mg's as that would be no good to me with my tolerance. I get up and make some tea in the filthy kitchen that i have called home for the past 2 weeks. What abunch of fuckin pigs! I have never seen a house in such a fuckin state as this and that is saying alot for me. Id rather live in a goddamn crack house. Apparently despite 3 people living in this house before i came here none of them have bothered to clean anything in what looks like months. The kitchen smells of rubbish that should have been taken out weeks ago, cat piss and shit as the dirty cunt downstairs owns 4 cats that he never cleans up after and the remnants of the little bit of food that was cooked here. The smells are all jockeying for a top spot of which stinks the most. I survey the floor while i am making my tea and i see food on the floor and cat shit that noone bothered to clean up. Smells are not pleasant when you are dopesick least of all the state of this fuckin shack. My stomach threatens to hurl up whatever liquids are left in it so i grab my tea and go outside despite the almost -30C temperature that is bone chilling and none to kind to my dopesick body. But atleast it doesn't stink out here.
I sit outside drinking my tea and having a smoke. The first few puffs almost make me puke but i hold it down and then i'm alright or as alright as i can be under these circumstances. I survey the neighborhood with disgust. What a boring shitty place i think to myself. Not a sign of life besides the sound of the cars on the highway up the road. This place is just barely inside the city limits and nothing is here at all. Not that there is anything anywhere in this godforsaken frozen shithole. I'm freezing my balls off out here but it's better then being in that house. But i must go back in if for no other reason then to get my g/f's cell to call my dealer. I call the cunt and miraculously he's not only home but also has M-eslon morphine pills, oxy, some Heroin and my guess crack as well. For once the fucker comes through. My g/f wakes up briefly to tell me to pick up some Heroin for her and then i wrap up nice and warm and head out into what feels like Siberia.
Unfortunately this prick lives half way across town and that means catching 3 different buses to get there. I grab a few mazzies out of my pocket and wash them down with the hot coffee in my take away cup. This is going to be a long fucking bus ride. I walk to the bus stop and despite the bitter cold i am sweating. I hate that feeling of constant moisture from the sweat as it makes me feel dirty as fuck. I get on the bus and after about a hour i manage to make it to this cunts area. I am scanning the row of flophouses for my dealers place. I have only been here twice and never in the daytime and everything looks different. The city looks ugly and mean. We have run down back to back housing back home and for some reason i like that but this just looks ugly. This place has no life or soul to it at all. Atleast the flophouses back home look like they have some character and life to them even in the worst parts of the city but not this place. It's a cold city with even colder people.
I finally locate the bastards flat and he lets me in. Typical of these places it has a strong metal door that someone has to let you in through and then you enter a hallway with separate rooms and a bathroom down the hall. I go into this guys place and despite it being a crack den it's much cleaner then the shit fest i am currently living in. Even the communal toilet is cleaner then ours ffs! He asks what do i want? 10 200mg eslons and a point of smack. Sorry i just sold the last bit of smack to my boy who just got kicked off his methadone he says. Fuck sakes! I don't care as i am not hear for the smack but the girl is gonna be pissed. I call her up and she says to pick up some oxy instead. Fucking 30 bucks for a 80mg pill is she off her rocker! Oh well it's her cash. I quickly crush the pill throw the whole 200mg's of morphine in the cooker and suck it up through a micron filter. I throw off my jacket as fast as i can and get my shirt off and i'm tapping up a vein. The sweat is pouring off me and i feel like my guts are going to give out as i am near getting a hit. For some reason this always happens. I spike a vein and draw blood. I let go the tie and for a few seconds i look at the wonderful solution that now has a jet of blood in it. I slam it home and within seconds the rush hit's me. All my hatred for this place seems to fade into the background and i don't even care that i'm at a crack house at 11 in the morning.
I lay on the couch staring at the ceiling for abit as the relief washes over me. Good hit or what? the guy says. Fucking fantastic fuckin great b'y i says. It looks like it he says laughing to himself. Do you want a hit of crack he says? I have abit left in my pipe there that you can have. Well shit i am not one to turn down free crack and be rude now am i? I put a new mouthpiece in the pipe and put the flame to the glass dick and i hit it for all it's worth. Woo holy fuck the bells are ringing. That was a good hit. Jesus that's some good gear i says. Yeah it's good stuff he says. Wanna buy a few rocks? I contemplate this for about 5 seconds before the obvious answer comes out of my mouth along with the bills coming out of my wallet. I stuff 2 rocks in the pipe and suck it all back. I get a bell ringer and i almost go deaf and i feel like i have overdone it. But the crack rush mixing with the morphine is bliss. Wanna buy a few more rocks? It's not often i get stuff this good. Why not i say.
It's getting dark out and i had not realized that the morning had turned into dusk. People have been passing in and out of the place buying pills and crack but i havent said much more then hi to either one of them. I could care less if one of them dropped dead of a OD right now. A ring on the cell phone from my g/f snaps me out of my morphine and crack induced haze. Where the fuck have you been? You've been gone the whole fuckin day! Ugh just hangin out at the b'ys house watchin the hockey game i say. Well get the fuck home now i'm getting sick. Fuck sakes now i have to go back to that shit hole. I buy another 3 rocks for the road and take 2 hits before i get up to leave as well. He let's me out of the door and now i'm in the freezin cold street. I figure out which bus i have to catch and hop on and head for the back where i lie across the seat with a do not disturb sign on my fuckin face. The scenery looks even uglier through my crack haze as everything is shape focus. it's a long ride home but i am in no hurry to get there. Home ya right. Home is a thousand miles away this shit hole is not your home. True enough i think.
I get off the bus and am walkin towards the house. I stop for a coffee along the way as a sudden craving for coffee hits me. The frigid air turns even this boiling hot java cold after about 2 blocks but i down it anyway. I get in through the door into the heat and back to the stench of this place. It now seems worse then ever. How the fuck could one go about even cleaning this place up? I think to myself that if i owned this shit hole i would tear out the walls n all and start from the foundation up cause there is no fixing this mess. My g/f is waiting at the top of the stairs for me and before i can even reach into my pocket she says did you get it? Of course i fuckin got it. What where ya doin over there half the fuckin day? Watchin the game i say. She doesn't believe this for a minute and i am obviously looking blasted from the crack but i am in no fuckin mood to argue over this shit so that's all i'm saying. We go up to our bedroom and shut the door to keep out the cats and the stench of the est of the house. How in the name of fuck did i end up here? If this ain't rock bottom i don't know wtf is.
She takes a shot of oxy while i shoot another 200mg's of morphine. I was looking forward to some sex but she passed out yet again just after getting the needle out of her arm. What a fuckin junk hog. A waste of fuckin drugs. I go down into what passes for a dinning room and get out the crack pipe and start hitting it again. A cold feeling washes over me and everything becomes crystal clear. The crack rush makes the place seem even more sickening. After all the crack is gone i grab a beer which is the only thing in the fridge besides the light bulb and go upstairs. It's still early but there's nothing at all to do and my g/f is comatose. I pop a few more mazzies and drink my beer and try and chill out. The song Desolation Row by Dylan comes on my youtube mix. How fitting it is to this atmosphere. In spite of the massive amount of drugs the disgust and discontentment does not go away. I suddenly want a bottle of rum but the liquor store is fuckin miles away. I curse myself for not picking up a 40oz bottle on the way home.
I check the price of flights back home just to see the cost. Not bad i think. Maybe it is time to catch a flight before the prices go up and before what's left of me withers away and dies.
I sit outside drinking my tea and having a smoke. The first few puffs almost make me puke but i hold it down and then i'm alright or as alright as i can be under these circumstances. I survey the neighborhood with disgust. What a boring shitty place i think to myself. Not a sign of life besides the sound of the cars on the highway up the road. This place is just barely inside the city limits and nothing is here at all. Not that there is anything anywhere in this godforsaken frozen shithole. I'm freezing my balls off out here but it's better then being in that house. But i must go back in if for no other reason then to get my g/f's cell to call my dealer. I call the cunt and miraculously he's not only home but also has M-eslon morphine pills, oxy, some Heroin and my guess crack as well. For once the fucker comes through. My g/f wakes up briefly to tell me to pick up some Heroin for her and then i wrap up nice and warm and head out into what feels like Siberia.
Unfortunately this prick lives half way across town and that means catching 3 different buses to get there. I grab a few mazzies out of my pocket and wash them down with the hot coffee in my take away cup. This is going to be a long fucking bus ride. I walk to the bus stop and despite the bitter cold i am sweating. I hate that feeling of constant moisture from the sweat as it makes me feel dirty as fuck. I get on the bus and after about a hour i manage to make it to this cunts area. I am scanning the row of flophouses for my dealers place. I have only been here twice and never in the daytime and everything looks different. The city looks ugly and mean. We have run down back to back housing back home and for some reason i like that but this just looks ugly. This place has no life or soul to it at all. Atleast the flophouses back home look like they have some character and life to them even in the worst parts of the city but not this place. It's a cold city with even colder people.
I finally locate the bastards flat and he lets me in. Typical of these places it has a strong metal door that someone has to let you in through and then you enter a hallway with separate rooms and a bathroom down the hall. I go into this guys place and despite it being a crack den it's much cleaner then the shit fest i am currently living in. Even the communal toilet is cleaner then ours ffs! He asks what do i want? 10 200mg eslons and a point of smack. Sorry i just sold the last bit of smack to my boy who just got kicked off his methadone he says. Fuck sakes! I don't care as i am not hear for the smack but the girl is gonna be pissed. I call her up and she says to pick up some oxy instead. Fucking 30 bucks for a 80mg pill is she off her rocker! Oh well it's her cash. I quickly crush the pill throw the whole 200mg's of morphine in the cooker and suck it up through a micron filter. I throw off my jacket as fast as i can and get my shirt off and i'm tapping up a vein. The sweat is pouring off me and i feel like my guts are going to give out as i am near getting a hit. For some reason this always happens. I spike a vein and draw blood. I let go the tie and for a few seconds i look at the wonderful solution that now has a jet of blood in it. I slam it home and within seconds the rush hit's me. All my hatred for this place seems to fade into the background and i don't even care that i'm at a crack house at 11 in the morning.
I lay on the couch staring at the ceiling for abit as the relief washes over me. Good hit or what? the guy says. Fucking fantastic fuckin great b'y i says. It looks like it he says laughing to himself. Do you want a hit of crack he says? I have abit left in my pipe there that you can have. Well shit i am not one to turn down free crack and be rude now am i? I put a new mouthpiece in the pipe and put the flame to the glass dick and i hit it for all it's worth. Woo holy fuck the bells are ringing. That was a good hit. Jesus that's some good gear i says. Yeah it's good stuff he says. Wanna buy a few rocks? I contemplate this for about 5 seconds before the obvious answer comes out of my mouth along with the bills coming out of my wallet. I stuff 2 rocks in the pipe and suck it all back. I get a bell ringer and i almost go deaf and i feel like i have overdone it. But the crack rush mixing with the morphine is bliss. Wanna buy a few more rocks? It's not often i get stuff this good. Why not i say.
It's getting dark out and i had not realized that the morning had turned into dusk. People have been passing in and out of the place buying pills and crack but i havent said much more then hi to either one of them. I could care less if one of them dropped dead of a OD right now. A ring on the cell phone from my g/f snaps me out of my morphine and crack induced haze. Where the fuck have you been? You've been gone the whole fuckin day! Ugh just hangin out at the b'ys house watchin the hockey game i say. Well get the fuck home now i'm getting sick. Fuck sakes now i have to go back to that shit hole. I buy another 3 rocks for the road and take 2 hits before i get up to leave as well. He let's me out of the door and now i'm in the freezin cold street. I figure out which bus i have to catch and hop on and head for the back where i lie across the seat with a do not disturb sign on my fuckin face. The scenery looks even uglier through my crack haze as everything is shape focus. it's a long ride home but i am in no hurry to get there. Home ya right. Home is a thousand miles away this shit hole is not your home. True enough i think.
I get off the bus and am walkin towards the house. I stop for a coffee along the way as a sudden craving for coffee hits me. The frigid air turns even this boiling hot java cold after about 2 blocks but i down it anyway. I get in through the door into the heat and back to the stench of this place. It now seems worse then ever. How the fuck could one go about even cleaning this place up? I think to myself that if i owned this shit hole i would tear out the walls n all and start from the foundation up cause there is no fixing this mess. My g/f is waiting at the top of the stairs for me and before i can even reach into my pocket she says did you get it? Of course i fuckin got it. What where ya doin over there half the fuckin day? Watchin the game i say. She doesn't believe this for a minute and i am obviously looking blasted from the crack but i am in no fuckin mood to argue over this shit so that's all i'm saying. We go up to our bedroom and shut the door to keep out the cats and the stench of the est of the house. How in the name of fuck did i end up here? If this ain't rock bottom i don't know wtf is.
She takes a shot of oxy while i shoot another 200mg's of morphine. I was looking forward to some sex but she passed out yet again just after getting the needle out of her arm. What a fuckin junk hog. A waste of fuckin drugs. I go down into what passes for a dinning room and get out the crack pipe and start hitting it again. A cold feeling washes over me and everything becomes crystal clear. The crack rush makes the place seem even more sickening. After all the crack is gone i grab a beer which is the only thing in the fridge besides the light bulb and go upstairs. It's still early but there's nothing at all to do and my g/f is comatose. I pop a few more mazzies and drink my beer and try and chill out. The song Desolation Row by Dylan comes on my youtube mix. How fitting it is to this atmosphere. In spite of the massive amount of drugs the disgust and discontentment does not go away. I suddenly want a bottle of rum but the liquor store is fuckin miles away. I curse myself for not picking up a 40oz bottle on the way home.
I check the price of flights back home just to see the cost. Not bad i think. Maybe it is time to catch a flight before the prices go up and before what's left of me withers away and dies.
