I used heroin heavily for about 4 years. The only way I was able to get through it is by the grace of God. Stay on your up hill fight it only gets better and better. You just have to suck it up and get over the temporary physical withdrawal, a long temporary(about 40 days for me) and your life will have a purpose again. I found that working out really helped detox me faster than if I hadn't of worked out. I waited about a week before I started working out because I had no energy and was always exhausted. But the great thing is if you remain strong in your sobriety these things will also pass. The physical and emotional horrors of this drug are daunting, but you sound like me in that you have gotten to a point in your life where you are truly sick and tired of living in this devastating hell on earth. Do it for yourself, your family, and friends; but most importantly ask God to help you through this very difficult time in your life, and believe it or not if you ask you shall receive because He truly wants it more for you than you do for yourself. I can testify that my life has never been as exciting as it is now and I have never been as happy as I am now. It is such a joy to wake up every morning and be excited about the day rather than being depressed, anxious, and miserable as I was when I was using. Give yourself the life you truly deserve and persevere through the temporary misery you are surely going to experience in the near future, but just remember this pain and anguish is only temporary and once you do get passed it you never have to look back, and your life will truly become a joy. Just don't forget to ask for God's help, I know without it I most definitely would have slipped up.