landocomando
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Messages
- 150
-
MDMA &
Empathogenic
Drugs
Welcome Guest! -
How long untill my brain chemistry returns to normal?
- Thread starter landocomando
- Start date
papernotebook
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Messages
- 24
hey metalismean:
First of all, way to go on deciding never to do ecstasy again. Dude, I hate that drug so fucking much. You and I both found out the hard way that we aren't invincible. I strongly believe that ecstasy is one of the most neurotoxic drugs right under meth and heroin. We can either choose to accept failure and never being able to feel normal again, or accept what we have done and learn to make the best of it. Believe with all your heart and soul that there is hope, and hope will be yours. I do believe you can recover. With repetition...crazy exponential amounts of repetition, the brain heals itself and makes new pathways like AMTdan said. Personally, after 14 months I do feel better. It's hard to explain. You kind of get used to having less. You just make a choice to be happy. A lot of that natural "feeling" of being happy is lost. I don't think you'll have any trouble recovering though man. Especially if you don't do any other drugs. After my ecstasy binge man, i continued (stupidly) to smoke all the time and drink every night, do coke a few times, acid 4 times, shrooms a few times, so now it's hard to say whether or not my depression and feeling stupid are an outcome of the ecstasy or the later stuff. Quitting weed is the hardest thing in the world to do if you have an "e brain." You will be depressed. But it gets better.
Personally, these are the MOST IMPORTANT things for you to do right now. I am going to make a list.
1.) EAT WELL.
You WILL feel and get better. Your brain need proper nutrition to function. All the more now because it's in a sense working double time trying to fix itself.
2.) READ AND READ OUT LOUD.
These are all things i can personally vouch for, i'm not just blowing smoke out of my ass. Reading helps organize your brain. Reading the words outloud helps with your speech, and confidence with talking with other people.
3.) WRITE.
As much as you can, but for sure a little bit everyday. I recommend getting a journal. Maybe at the end of each night, write about your day from sun up to sun down. Try to remember as many details as you can. It trains your brain to recall information easily. It's very hard and depressing at first, but stick to it and you'll see that with enough repetition your brain will start to work automatically!! Then you won't even need to keep a journal.
4.) SUPPLEMENTS.
For depression, mood, and brain health: 5-HTP, St. John's Wart, SAM-E, B12,
For insomnia: Valerian Root, Melatonin
Overall: Adult Multi Vitamin, Vitamin C
5.) TALK TO PEOPLE.
Relationships make a world of difference. It's hard at first because you think that you can't relate to them, or you're afraid of sounding or looking like an idiot, but even talking with family or a close friend about how your feeling WILL make you feel better. If you feel like you don't know what to talk about, just ask questions. People love talking about themselves.
6.EXERCISE.
Exercise makes your heart beat faster which in turn pumps more blood into your brain and makes you think better. It also releases dopamine and endorphines which are the bodies natural forms of ecstasy. The more blood that's in your better the better. Yoga and stretching also make a world of difference.
7. LISTEN TO MUSIC (positive music)
8. MEDITATION
Just sit down, close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Keep breathing for 30min to an hour. Try to completely clear your head. You will feel better afterward.
It's a long road of recovery, but we can all help eachother. Good luck man, i wish you the best!
First of all, way to go on deciding never to do ecstasy again. Dude, I hate that drug so fucking much. You and I both found out the hard way that we aren't invincible. I strongly believe that ecstasy is one of the most neurotoxic drugs right under meth and heroin. We can either choose to accept failure and never being able to feel normal again, or accept what we have done and learn to make the best of it. Believe with all your heart and soul that there is hope, and hope will be yours. I do believe you can recover. With repetition...crazy exponential amounts of repetition, the brain heals itself and makes new pathways like AMTdan said. Personally, after 14 months I do feel better. It's hard to explain. You kind of get used to having less. You just make a choice to be happy. A lot of that natural "feeling" of being happy is lost. I don't think you'll have any trouble recovering though man. Especially if you don't do any other drugs. After my ecstasy binge man, i continued (stupidly) to smoke all the time and drink every night, do coke a few times, acid 4 times, shrooms a few times, so now it's hard to say whether or not my depression and feeling stupid are an outcome of the ecstasy or the later stuff. Quitting weed is the hardest thing in the world to do if you have an "e brain." You will be depressed. But it gets better.
Personally, these are the MOST IMPORTANT things for you to do right now. I am going to make a list.
1.) EAT WELL.
You WILL feel and get better. Your brain need proper nutrition to function. All the more now because it's in a sense working double time trying to fix itself.
2.) READ AND READ OUT LOUD.
These are all things i can personally vouch for, i'm not just blowing smoke out of my ass. Reading helps organize your brain. Reading the words outloud helps with your speech, and confidence with talking with other people.
3.) WRITE.
As much as you can, but for sure a little bit everyday. I recommend getting a journal. Maybe at the end of each night, write about your day from sun up to sun down. Try to remember as many details as you can. It trains your brain to recall information easily. It's very hard and depressing at first, but stick to it and you'll see that with enough repetition your brain will start to work automatically!! Then you won't even need to keep a journal.
4.) SUPPLEMENTS.
For depression, mood, and brain health: 5-HTP, St. John's Wart, SAM-E, B12,
For insomnia: Valerian Root, Melatonin
Overall: Adult Multi Vitamin, Vitamin C
5.) TALK TO PEOPLE.
Relationships make a world of difference. It's hard at first because you think that you can't relate to them, or you're afraid of sounding or looking like an idiot, but even talking with family or a close friend about how your feeling WILL make you feel better. If you feel like you don't know what to talk about, just ask questions. People love talking about themselves.
6.EXERCISE.
Exercise makes your heart beat faster which in turn pumps more blood into your brain and makes you think better. It also releases dopamine and endorphines which are the bodies natural forms of ecstasy. The more blood that's in your better the better. Yoga and stretching also make a world of difference.
7. LISTEN TO MUSIC (positive music)
8. MEDITATION
Just sit down, close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Keep breathing for 30min to an hour. Try to completely clear your head. You will feel better afterward.
It's a long road of recovery, but we can all help eachother. Good luck man, i wish you the best!
lol adderall isn't more neurotoxic than MDMA. Seratonin regulators in your brain recover MUCH, MUCH slower than dopamine.
etookmylife
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2009
- Messages
- 5
I wish somebody told me this. In fact the person that gave me E the first time said the complete opposite:"I've been researching ecstasy for 3 months and it is 100% safe". Five minutes later I was high and having the best time of my life. E is probably the best time you can have within such a short timespan.
This is all great if your a loser and you sit at home all day and have no need for a brain. But I dont and this was a very big mistake.
True, but unless you end your night with a gunshot to the head none of that matters. Oh wait! thats exactly what e is!
My brain was the ONLY thing that I had really. I would rather be in a wheelchair than have a brain like the one I have now.
I feel like a dumbass. It really sucks when you have to tell people you dont feel welll. People:"how do you feel?" Me:"like an idiot. I cant think." People:"whatever attention whore"
I cant study anymore. I cant read properly. I sometimes forget how circles and robots work and end up stopping at the intersections with my car until I puzzle it out.
Yes. This is the big one. Along with impaired ability to focus. I literally dont know where I was 30mins ago. I dont know what I did yesterday. My memory is so bad. I can sit for like 30seconds -1min and think REALLY hard until my head HURTS just to get a glimplse of an image in my head of what I did at a certain time.
On a side note: The memory loss was there from pill one. at first it was just a little bit worse but as I took more E my memory packed its bags.
Ok this I cant relate to. I type like a demon. really really fast. The question is would I have been typing faster had I not taken E? probably...
My Eyes are screwed though. I dont feel like I can "comprehend" my environment like I use to. I can only look at one spot in front of me and even then It doesnt focus properly. Also I keep seeing a flickering white noise in my sight. It looks like the white noise on a TV except its like little white stars. Somebody on another forum also had this from E. I find it really hard to read and to take text/passages out of my study material into my brain. I just stare at it. No gears are turning in my head.
+1
+1
nope dont have this. But i cant spell for shit anymore and when I proofread my typings I always miss obvious mistakes.
I remember thinking that it is the highest high I had ever felt, but I cant remember it so I dont really have that making me "blue". There are still alot of things I want to do, too bad I'm a retard now.
Thats cool. It sounds like a superpower.
This is probably the most important thing you've said (along with all the other gospel). You only live once. Quite frankly I dont really care about anyone on the netz to waste time convincing them E is bad.
I wake up every day thinking: What now? you dont have your life anymore.
Hello MR. Nail, I'd like you to meet MR. Hammer. I have every one of those symptoms. And they all amplify each other.
Whats disturbing thoughts though? like hillary clinton fingering herself? or do you mean suicide?
I want that hope so bad. Thats all I'm looking for and the reason I'm on these forums. I just need somebody to say they went through this and got out the other side. I cannot live like this. I am 10% the person I was.
========================================
Background Story (Bullet point style):
- End of last year till march I took E on maybe 5-6 occasions. At first it was 1-2 pills later it was 3-6 pills per session. On last sessions nothing was happening.
- Stopped taking and since march my brain has been fried. Thought I was sick and went to neuroligist. Did every single test in the book, including brain scans and MRI and lots of blood tests. Came up fine. Leaving E as the only culprit<-- how do you spell that word, my brain fails me :D
- At the start of the year I was third year in my engineering degree. I was super smart and I am a pretty big geek. Now I have paused my studies since I cant understand anything I read or comprehend it. Hard to explain the feeling. This is also a major source of my depression. All my friends getting girlfriends and degree and going on with their lives. I'm stuck here in limbo.
- So now its like 8 months on. Nothing has really changed. I dont really do much exercise but i do eat relatively healthy food.
My brain is so F * * C K E D. I wish I hadnt done E. I want my life back so bad.
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socalrollin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2008
- Messages
- 350
maybe you should roll again. reuniting with mdma may bring an end to all these problems you are having. at least one more reunion to close the book. it seems you have a lot of anger towards the drug itself when in fact you are the one that abused the drug. respect it. its powerful, beautiful, and evil when abused.
i experienced similar symptoms when quitting mdma use but they went away for the most part when i learned moderation and quit worrying about using or not using. i use once to every three months now and everything is fine.
op a month off is good. i know your not going to not roll for tiesto so just keep the pill count down and have a good time. youll remember more of the event that way also. oh and dont roll for at least a month after tiesto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
etookmylife
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2009
- Messages
- 5
I dont think we came here to get lessons on morality from drug users. We know we screwed up cos we live with it every day.
Before my symptoms appeared I wanted everyone to try the drug. I thought that it was just one of those things that everybody should experience at least once in their life. Its not. life isnt 4-6hours long. And doing it again is probably the dumbest advice you can give...
Yea. good for you!
I mean if it works for you that means it works for everyone!
Pegasus
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2006
- Messages
- 8,073
There, fixed for you...
papernotebook
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Messages
- 24
I SERIOUSLY WOULD MUCH RATHER BE IN A WHEEL CHAIR.
Dude, no joke, i was thinking about this a couple of days ago! Except I went as far as thinking to myself that I would rather be blind. Honest to God the way i feel...
I find myself wondering if i make my brain worse than it actually is, you know? Maybe me thinking about being fried makes me all the more fried. i dont know. What helps you man?
Did you go to the "Amen Clinics" by chance for the brain scans? After the MRI's and scans, what kind of help did they offer you? Have you done any therapy? WHAT HELPS? Is there hope?? I can't live like this.
You asked about what kind of disturbing thoughts i have...It's more of a constant acute self awareness and consciousness. I feel like my soul is outside of my body, looking at myself through a video camera standing in front of me. Poorest self esteem ever. I used to have too much of an ego, now i'm scraping floor for crumbs.
Maybe we can help eachother out man. swap emails. I need someone to talk to who is going throught the same thing. I feel like i have alzheimers dude. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. I am twenty years old.
I'm at work right now and the two guys to my left are playing an online golfing game. After each score they groan and cheer and yell and clap their hands together like FUCKING monkeys. It pisses me off. I want to tell them to shut the fuck up, but i don't want to look like a jerk, so the anger just builds up inside making me feel worse. If only i could use my words in a logical sense like i used to maybe i would be able to explain to them everything.
etookmylife
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2009
- Messages
- 5
yea I will pm you.
Nevermind. you can reach me at nuliksulinum [at.] gmail com
Nevermind. you can reach me at nuliksulinum [at.] gmail com
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Pegasus
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2006
- Messages
- 8,073
Yeah, how long has it been since your last dose, and how frequent was it? I had the same thing for a little while after a MDMA binge, but it went away eventually. (It gradually got better over the course of a month or so)
I still love MDMA, I just learned the power of it and the repercussions of its abuse the hard way.
strawberry jam
Bluelighter
Ecstasy needs to be used in moderation and treated with respect. Use your brain if you're going to make the choice to do something that may destroy it. I've rolled about 25 times since February (for about 6 months, I rolled every weekend). I was in my honeymoon phase, and I've just recently began to slow down because I've read too many horror stories on here. It's been about a month since my last roll.
I don't take a crazy amount of pills -- I think I've taken around 50 since I started, and I'm thankful I didn't go overboard in that sense. I still don't really have a tolerance (one pill is enough to get me rolling, and I usually don't ever take more than 2 or 3 in a single night). The worst I've done is rolled 3 times in a week (8 pills), which isn't bad compared to a lot of people, but I can personally notice small negative side effects and that's why I'm slowing down. I've never once had a bad roll or "lost the magic" in any way... It's still as magical as when I first started out. I just don't want to become retarded.
I consider myself an intelligent person (I scored 2180 on the SAT and am currently a film studies major at NYU) and I value my brain. I need it to go through life, and I'm highly conscious of its abilities. Though I never heavily abused e, I know my memory recall is worse since I started rolling (it takes me a longer time to come up with the right word, which is something I've never had trouble with) and I often lose track of what I'm saying halfway through a sentence (like I'll begin telling a story and then stop because I can't remember what I wanted to say). It sucks. This is after minimal abuse. I can't imagine going through what papernotebook and etookmylife are experiencing.
So please make the right choice for yourself and know your (and your brain's) limits.
I don't take a crazy amount of pills -- I think I've taken around 50 since I started, and I'm thankful I didn't go overboard in that sense. I still don't really have a tolerance (one pill is enough to get me rolling, and I usually don't ever take more than 2 or 3 in a single night). The worst I've done is rolled 3 times in a week (8 pills), which isn't bad compared to a lot of people, but I can personally notice small negative side effects and that's why I'm slowing down. I've never once had a bad roll or "lost the magic" in any way... It's still as magical as when I first started out. I just don't want to become retarded.
I consider myself an intelligent person (I scored 2180 on the SAT and am currently a film studies major at NYU) and I value my brain. I need it to go through life, and I'm highly conscious of its abilities. Though I never heavily abused e, I know my memory recall is worse since I started rolling (it takes me a longer time to come up with the right word, which is something I've never had trouble with) and I often lose track of what I'm saying halfway through a sentence (like I'll begin telling a story and then stop because I can't remember what I wanted to say). It sucks. This is after minimal abuse. I can't imagine going through what papernotebook and etookmylife are experiencing.
So please make the right choice for yourself and know your (and your brain's) limits.
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metalismean
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2008
- Messages
- 97
papernotebook and etookmylife, i can completely relate to both you guys. Its truly sad that others will ignore our advice and they themselves will end up in the same situation eventually aswell, i know for one that i was not abusing it to the same degree as many of my friends and people on this board but have being feeling these effects since march/april this year....
I would like to hear more from you guys about this and how we can possible help ourselves. feel free to pm me anytime
I would like to hear more from you guys about this and how we can possible help ourselves. feel free to pm me anytime
papernotebook
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Messages
- 24
I took it for a week straight. I haven't done ecstasy for 14 months. No, i haven't recovered.
kandytime
Bluelighter
yeah but how many have you done exactly in that week?
royksopp
Bluelighter
1.) EAT WELL.
You WILL feel and get better. Your brain need proper nutrition to function. All the more now because it's in a sense working double time trying to fix itself.
2.) READ AND READ OUT LOUD.
These are all things i can personally vouch for, i'm not just blowing smoke out of my ass. Reading helps organize your brain. Reading the words outloud helps with your speech, and confidence with talking with other people.
3.) WRITE.
As much as you can, but for sure a little bit everyday. I recommend getting a journal. Maybe at the end of each night, write about your day from sun up to sun down. Try to remember as many details as you can. It trains your brain to recall information easily. It's very hard and depressing at first, but stick to it and you'll see that with enough repetition your brain will start to work automatically!! Then you won't even need to keep a journal.
4.) SUPPLEMENTS.
For depression, mood, and brain health: 5-HTP, St. John's Wart, SAM-E, B12,
For insomnia: Valerian Root, Melatonin
Overall: Adult Multi Vitamin, Vitamin C
5.) TALK TO PEOPLE.
Relationships make a world of difference. It's hard at first because you think that you can't relate to them, or you're afraid of sounding or looking like an idiot, but even talking with family or a close friend about how your feeling WILL make you feel better. If you feel like you don't know what to talk about, just ask questions. People love talking about themselves.
6.EXERCISE.
Exercise makes your heart beat faster which in turn pumps more blood into your brain and makes you think better. It also releases dopamine and endorphines which are the bodies natural forms of ecstasy. The more blood that's in your better the better. Yoga and stretching also make a world of difference.
7. LISTEN TO MUSIC (positive music)
8. MEDITATION
Just sit down, close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Keep breathing for 30min to an hour. Try to completely clear your head. You will feel better afterward.
It's a long road of recovery, but we can all help eachother. Good luck man, i wish you the best!
All of you who abused MDMA would be EXTREMELY wise to follow the tips that paperclip has given. These are all essential to living a healthy lifestyle and will help make you an above average individual.
papernotebook
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Messages
- 24
I only took 17 pills, but i didn't take a break for a week straight. I upped the dose by a pill every day: 1,2,2,3,4,5. So it was 17 pills in six days. Not nearly as many as a friend i know who has done probably close to an ounce of MDMA. He says he still feels completely normal. He spaces it out though. I think it's exponentially worse for your brain when you do what i did and take them in a row.
It makes sense if you think about it. There is a constant film of neurotoxic chemicals flooding your brain for 6 days, as compared to doing doing it a day, then giving your brain a chance to recover for a few months, then doing it again. My brain is super fried man..i have a deep hatred for X. If people are going to do it anyway despite everyone telling them not to...my only advice is:
Don't do more than 2 pills. and don't take less than 4 months to do it again if you are so bent on doing it twice. AND DONT DO IT MORE THAN TWICE.
Life isn't four hours long. I highly recommend you never do it. A brain fried from ecstasy
krimynole
Greenlighter
Tiesto!!!!!!...fuck that u gotta go Rollin!!!!
SWIM knows what you guys are going through. Its kinda scary to hear you describe the exact same symptoms and all after taking e on back to back days for some reason. I dont think this is a coincidence. I think e is a truly amazing chemical alomst a gift but it must be respected its true. Doing it once a month even 4 pills in a night in swims opinion is not that bad but caining it for consecutive days i think potentiates the neurotoxicity.
If you look at teh reports the monkeys got the brain damage from doses 2x a day for 4 days and also after 1 uber massive dose.
Swim was stupid and went to a festival took 0.3g mdma fri and 0.5g mdma sat. Sat night did nothing part from make swim feel really scetchy, could not come up at all couldnt connect to teh poeple hed gone with which is due to a lack of seratonin he is sure of. Weirdly i dont no if ne 1 else has experienced this but when swim was so trashed on sat (not high though) he had some minor hallucinations. just peoples faces would look very evil, like a gargoyl or vampire look. Swim has had this once b4 when he took way too much mdma in one night.
Ne way this was like 14months ago and swim regrets this decision to drop two night because he has the symtoms described. there has been some improvement but its mainly just that hes starting to accept that this is how he is now and cant really be botherd to think about it ne more. Hes got more important things to worry about like getting a degree but these horrible thoughts linger every single day!!!!
Swim would appreciate to hear from any of you who have some similar stupid amount on consecutive days and been ok. Swim has found it really hard to talk 2 anyone and had pretty much bottled it up in the hope it would go away. Plus when he tried to talk to his other e buddies who all felt fine they pretty much shunned him and said it was all in his head. Would love to enjoy mandy again one day i obvioulsly would treat it with a lot more respect if i cud asure myself i was feeling 100% again.
Bugger
If you look at teh reports the monkeys got the brain damage from doses 2x a day for 4 days and also after 1 uber massive dose.
Swim was stupid and went to a festival took 0.3g mdma fri and 0.5g mdma sat. Sat night did nothing part from make swim feel really scetchy, could not come up at all couldnt connect to teh poeple hed gone with which is due to a lack of seratonin he is sure of. Weirdly i dont no if ne 1 else has experienced this but when swim was so trashed on sat (not high though) he had some minor hallucinations. just peoples faces would look very evil, like a gargoyl or vampire look. Swim has had this once b4 when he took way too much mdma in one night.
Ne way this was like 14months ago and swim regrets this decision to drop two night because he has the symtoms described. there has been some improvement but its mainly just that hes starting to accept that this is how he is now and cant really be botherd to think about it ne more. Hes got more important things to worry about like getting a degree but these horrible thoughts linger every single day!!!!
Swim would appreciate to hear from any of you who have some similar stupid amount on consecutive days and been ok. Swim has found it really hard to talk 2 anyone and had pretty much bottled it up in the hope it would go away. Plus when he tried to talk to his other e buddies who all felt fine they pretty much shunned him and said it was all in his head. Would love to enjoy mandy again one day i obvioulsly would treat it with a lot more respect if i cud asure myself i was feeling 100% again.
Bugger
oneluckysperm
Greenlighter
I had similar problems to some of those described here. Between the ages of fourteen and seventeen-odd I'd drop every weekend and smoked weed day in and day out. I was a mess until I stopped and for a while after. The depression and anxeity were unbearable. I'm getting the sensation that a lot of the people who're complaining of adverse effects from abusing MD and pills are either young or naive (i.e. just beginning to use) to drugs in general.
All I can say is that, assuming you knock it out now and find other means of recreation, it will get better with time. It took me the better part of a year to feel 'normal' again (perhaps longer), but after reintegrating myself with society and directing my energies back into school I feel like a new man compared to how I was until the age of about eighteen or nineteen.
I don't touch pills, stimulants or molly anymore, and when I smoke weed it's just a few tokes to get into that headspace and rarely on a daily basis. I'm all about the trips these days... and the odd benzo or opiate for those lazy days off. I'm happy again, and, if you take some proactive steps towards self-improvement, you guys will soon see the light at the of the tunnel, too.
All I can say is that, assuming you knock it out now and find other means of recreation, it will get better with time. It took me the better part of a year to feel 'normal' again (perhaps longer), but after reintegrating myself with society and directing my energies back into school I feel like a new man compared to how I was until the age of about eighteen or nineteen.
I don't touch pills, stimulants or molly anymore, and when I smoke weed it's just a few tokes to get into that headspace and rarely on a daily basis. I'm all about the trips these days... and the odd benzo or opiate for those lazy days off. I'm happy again, and, if you take some proactive steps towards self-improvement, you guys will soon see the light at the of the tunnel, too.