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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

How is your urinal etiquette?

Grade A: Not too shabby.
NSFW:
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I would have expected urinal etiquette to be somewhat culturally-dependent; also, the level of objection to todger-glimpsing (which is what ultimately drives it) probably varies depending whether it's a good friend (some men do seem to go to the bogs in packs, and even stand side-by-side, chatting as they pee) or a random stranger.

Anyway, as a paruresis sufferer, even in my former existence, I never liked urinals. Fortunately, I was blessed with a very good "diverter valve". Give me a cubicle with a lock on the door, or I can wait.

I don't seem to mind pissing in various strange places after consuming the right chemical cocktail (as some will attest .....) but that is a bit impractical for the normal day-to-day .....
 
flashbak1 said:
A.

One star off for choosing the last on the right in question 3. But as it says you enter from the left, to me I picked correctly as you never want to be near a possible open door!
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I get a shite score for my attentiveness then. I just assumed that each time I was entering from the left because I was thinking of one particular bar haha. I may have scored better if I had bothered to read it.
 
A - but what a load of bollocks. I'm kind of shy of using urinals and get 'stagefright' so always opt for the cubicles if available. After about 25 years of using public toilets as an 'adult' I have only a handful of memorable 'visits' involving comments from other people; I once got insulted for being "too fucking proud" or something like that when using the cubicles :sus: and once got a pretty creepy 'compliment' that made my skin crawl when using the urinals. I think those were the only 2 occasions when either a complete stranger or someone i knew by name but was not on friendly terms made any comments.

There must have been lots of occasions at school where stuff was said, i remember the boys quite openly looking at each others to compare cock sizes, but i cant recall many such occasions as they must have been so memorable :\ , apart from one older pupil telling a prepubescent me about someone pulling their foreskin back so far that 'white stuff came out and hit the ceiling' which had me quite intrigued and bemused for quite a while, iirc, i asked other boys about this who for some reason i didn't understand at the time were deeply embarrassed by the tale, perhaps it wasn't until the day i learned how to make my own 'white stuff' that all became clear. 8(

During one anarchic event where i think the queues for the 'ladies' were so long that they invaded the 'gents', there were so many girls around that i had the worst case of 'stagefright' and couldn't muster anything to happen even though i had been 'desperate for a piss' moments earlier. I never got on with those open air urinals like they sometimes have at festivals either, id much prefer to find a lonely tree to go behind, or have to face the legendary Glastonbury portaloos or the pit style cubicles they also used there.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
... once got a pretty creepy 'compliment' that made my skin crawl when using the urinals.
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You can't just leave it like that - what was the 'compliment'? :D

mydrugbuddy said:
I never got on with those open air urinals like they sometimes have at festivals either, id much prefer to find a lonely tree to go behind, or have to face the legendary Glastonbury portaloos or the pit style cubicles they also used there.
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They have those space urinals from the future that pop up through the pavements of a weekend in Bristol (or did when I last went anyway) and I thought I was really gonna struggle to go cos I too have also always suffered from fairly severe shy bladder syndrome (even at home on my own sometimes :!). Actually found them a doddle - much easier than standard gents facilities, in fact. Which perhaps has some somewhat worrisome connotations 8o
 
The guy told me that a have a "nice cock" whatever that means. It was the pervy way he said it, and him being about 40 years older than me that gave me the creeps.

I have yet to see those 'urinals from the future', sounds pretty progressive. The only thing Manchester has that rises from the ground is steel bollards to prang cars that have driven where they shouldn't have in the most evil of ways.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRCA8MvedIo

I'm surprised that it seems the council cannot be sued for damages, otherwise surely they wouldn't do it.
 
Slightly off topic, I was at a motorway service station having a piss a few weeks ago when a fight nearly erupted! Some little kid with his dad pointed at a guy having a leak and said "daddy why is his willy small?"
The guy turned to the kid and said "it's big enough to split you in half!"
I burst out laughing!
 
A+ Always go for the urinal farthest to the right when possible. You can simply turn your back so nobody can see.
 
itsonlyme123 said:
A+ Always go for the urinal farthest to the right when possible. You can simply turn your back so nobody can see.
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I agree (or rather I agree the farther from the entrance the better which happens to be right on this test) and voted as such. Doesn't result in an A+ though which is why I think Canadians are wee-urd and that you "massaged" your results a little ;)
 
Having suffered from public piss pot paranoia most of my life, thus being a dedicated cubicle commando, I now realise the best tactic is to stride up to the urinal right next to the biggest, ugly, knuckle dragging cunt you can find, loudly announcing "fuck me, I think my cock's about to explode", whilst simultaneously dropping yer trolleys to the floor. Then place hands on hips and commence increasingly rapid pelvic gyrations at the same time as leering suggestively at the bloke next to you. If you manage to escape getting your face smashed into the porcelain and repeated kicks to the testicles, this is guaranteed to clear the place and leave you in piece to piss to your heart's content.
 
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