How is the Relationship with your family after all your fuck ups?

[eeeeeeeeelie]

Recently I was under the influence of weed and I met a guy on Grindr. He was sketchy as fuck but I didn't care. We smoked a couple of bowls together and then we fucked. It was my first time and it was in the dog park where I grew up going as a kid. Halfway through it got really painful and I asked him to stop but he didn't. I called my best friend and told her everything when I was walking home, still high as fuck. Honestly, if I hadn't called her I wouldn't have remembered. Anyways the next morning she told me what had happened and everything kinda came rushing back. Yesterday I told my family and I know they are worried about me but I feel like such a burden. If I hadn't been high this wouldn't have happened. And they know that, so I feel like they are ashamed but don't want to tell me and risk me offing myself.

 

[eeeeeeeeelie]

I don't think mine look down on me as such, but since rehab they defo treat me different.
Stupidly I opened right up and told them all my secrets/behavior patterns of using when I was on my way there...deluded thinking I was never going to use again. How I used to lie and say I'd just had a drink or a smoke when I was fucked up on K or downers, how I used to hide my usage etc.
Now I can't get away with FUCK ALL around them ffs. Even just blowing my nose for natural reasons if I'm around them they'll instantly be like WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SNIFFING!?
It's well annoying
I had to move out, lol.

honestly preach. i will literally smile and my mom thinks im high.

 

[eeeeeeeeelie]

Yeah, my sister might of been my fault, But! I did what any brother should do! When he hears her boyfriend threatening her. I knocked his front two teeth out, and fractured his jaw. That's my job, lol. She took his side, and that's that....
Just to make that story a little better. My parents moved to Canada from England in the same year I was born, so no grandparents, uncle, aunts or any relatives at all. Oh, I guess that's not better.... lol, Just me and my dog.

Edit: oh, yeah she did end up marrying that dick, that's why we never speak.

you did the brave thing, im sorry she didn't recognize that

 

[jackie jones]

Recently I was under the influence of weed and I met a guy on Grindr. He was sketchy as fuck but I didn't care. We smoked a couple of bowls together and then we fucked. It was my first time and it was in the dog park where I grew up going as a kid. Halfway through it got really painful and I asked him to stop but he didn't. I called my best friend and told her everything when I was walking home, still high as fuck. Honestly, if I hadn't called her I wouldn't have remembered. Anyways the next morning she told me what had happened and everything kinda came rushing back. Yesterday I told my family and I know they are worried about me but I feel like such a burden. If I hadn't been high this wouldn't have happened. And they know that, so I feel like they are ashamed but don't want to tell me and risk me offing myself.

I am so sorry that happened to you. How a guy can care about his own sexual impulses above the feelings of the girl he is being intimate with is beyond me. Stop means No. You were sexually assaulted during your first intimate experience. Something that is supposed to be special. How terrible.

 

[eeeeeeeeelie]

I am so sorry that happened to you. How a guy can care about his own sexual impulses above the feelings of the girl he is being intimate with is beyond me. Stop means No. You were sexually assaulted during your first intimate experience. Something that is supposed to be special. How terrible.

I'm actually male which I think makes my parents even more freaked out, I wasn't out to them so the fact that I just came out as gay by telling them I was assualted is really fucked up.

 

[jackie jones]

It does not matter what sex you are.

 

[eeeeeeeeelie]

It does not matter what sex you are.

indeed

 

[Flower Fairy]

Halfway through it got really painful and I asked him to stop but he didn't

Same happened to me, its fucking shit loosing it in a horrible way, I feel for you man, I can't even enjoy sex after loosing it that way, its like I'm numb now and can't relax during sex

 

[PtahTek]

non-existent

 

[jackie jones]

I am perceived as a violent, manipulative, mentally ill drug addict by both my family and the small community where I live.

Which is not altogether untrue. The words Highly Intelligent get thrown around as well. So there is that. It does not seem to help much though.

 

[nznity]

I am perceived as a violent, manipulative, mentally ill drug addict by both my family and the small community where I live.

Which is not altogether untrue. The words Highly Intelligent get thrown around as well. So there is that. It does not seem to help much though.

I'm the same as you.

 

[jackie jones]

My condolences.

 

[nznity]

My condolences.

Nah, i needa take care of my own. I'm old enough.

 

[Crackedout420]

My family dosnt know how to deal with me or any of their children. One child was allowed and enabled to use benzos in his room until usage caus2ed seizures eith withdrawals. Then theres me, not allowed to do shit or I get tough loved. Kicked out and parents will call the few friends I have and manipulate them to bored allow me into their homes. No option for couch surfing . They've called the cops and made false reports of me being sa suicidal. Called my mom a mon ago because I was on a dangerous situa6ion, all I 2wanted was a ride or money for gas to leave. But no one will ever believe that I'm not scamming them for cash.

 

[Deru]

K, so I've been to rehab 3 times and once to an involuntary psych ward. My family is not the same with me anymore, they have this concept of me, they think I'm fucking crazy. My brother doesn't talk to me anymore even tho he lives with me, i barely speak to him these days. His gf i could care less i wanna throw her out of my house actually lol. My dad is kinda dissapointed at me too, I've robbed, pawned, sold, shit from the house and they just won't trust me anymore even though it's been like 2 years since the last time i fucked up big time.I'm thinking about moving out from my house when i get a job, i just can't live with people that look down on me. Do you guys have similar stories?

Yeah, definitely. The only way was to move on with my life, alone, and let my friends and family heal. It's been a long, painful, slow few years but I've put in the work and my family and friends finally view me as a normal human being again (and I did some horrible things to them, they would have been justified to never talk to me again.) With all that being said, when I fixed myself, I had to set boundaries, unique to each person, to prevent the looking down and the rabbit hole that leads down. It's give and take, and it's a slow, long road, but I'm happy I put in the effort to make things better, and I'm even more proud of myself that I was able to initiate and cultivate those positive, healthy changes.

None of that would have ever been possible, no matter what, if I was surviving off someone. How could my family view me as an independent man if I was completely dependent on them, there is just no way. I needed to suck it up, be a man, be an adult and take care of business. And, fuck me, it was beyond hard, and I wanted to give up so many times - if I can do it, anyone can do it.

I'm just finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and now I'm working on fixing relationships with the in-laws, which I never thought would be in the cards as a possibility. People need time, away from the person causing the problems, to heal as well. Everyone gets hurt in the process, so everyone has to heal on their own time, in their own way.

 

[JessFR]

I'm probably the closest thing to a black sheep in my family, so to speak.

Part of that isn't just my history of addiction and the usual stuff that comes with it, lying stealing, etc. Part of it is that I don't actually wanna be around most of them cause I can't relate to them.

The main family I have that I actually like are my mother and my brother. My heroin addiction damaged my relationship with both of them. But nevertheless it survived it.

Like probably most addicts I never wanted to hurt them, and I never wanted to use them. But during addiction you tend to find ways to justify actions that have exactly that result.

 

[nznity]

Like probably most addicts I never wanted to hurt them, and I never wanted to use them. But during addiction you tend to find ways to justify actions that have exactly that result.

I know waht you mean Jess, I never meant to hurt them either but....when it comes to dope It's down to fucking BUSINESS, u got to do what do to maintain the relentless hustle, not personal. Just business.