IM'd that extra 25mg, which kicked in much faster than snorting. Then snorted an eyeballed dose afterward with doing the injection thing. Visuals are similar to a low-mid 2nd plateau DXM trip but move more slowly, are sometimes responsive to sound. Also, while the colors are darker shades, there is more variety in coloration. DXM is mostly greens and blues, this has red, purple, pink, white, and maybe all the other colors with it.
There are also some visuals that seem more like a small dose of 2c-e or some other traditional psychedelic with light patterning on surfaces and somewhat bland but easily noticed geometric and fractal like shapes and patterns mostly seen with eyes closed.
Occasionally things come out of the wall in threatening ways but only for brief moments. Sometimes it feels like something is trying to pull me into my mattress on my bed possibly from under the floor. That might sound scary, but I find it funny.
Anyway, there may be two drugs in this seeing as I am getting significant dissasociative effects and mild-moderate traditional psychedelic effects. Those visuals may also just be there becauses I have tripped 200+ times on traditional psychedelics and now various other drugs might bring out light 2c-e/doi/mushroom/lsd/dpt/etc. type visuals if I get high enough. Also, the color was not uniform in the powder. There was white powder and pinkish/brownish grains in the mix.
The mind effects are hitting a new high. Like somewhere between a 2nd and 3rd plateau DXM trip mentally, without much effect on motor skills. It is a warm perfection. Much easier mentally and physically than an equivalent DXM dose. Things that would scare me on DXM are more likely to be funny and physically no negatives yet.
I am pretty sure this is a dissacociative now. If not, I can't imagine how it could do these things.
I tried to find online what it was. There is a slang name for ketamine+lsd called Pixie Dust, but this is obviously something else since it was being sold as a legal high. If you know the ingredient(s) in this drug, please let me know. I really want to know what this is. It's really good shit!
I love you all, and please have a nice day. If you can't do that, try to have a nice tomorrow. I know that can be a really hard thing to do sometimes, hope none of you are feeling that way too bad right now.
Gonna go a little higher, then just chill out and float away
Edit (More drugs added, almost like a new mini trip report on what it did):
Smoked 1.5mg AM-2201 and 25mg 5-meo-dalt. Also should mention the 15mg hydrocodone(tapering down) and 5mg lorazepam I had prior to the pixie dust, AM-2201, and 5-Meo-DALT.
I have seen people starting to walk by my door just to disappear right before my eyes. I feel like I am rolling on an ocean in bed. I briefly saw a tarantula in the corner before it vanished. I saw a raccoon climbing in my closet before vanishing. Raccoons are one of my favorite animals, so that was cool.(I might get one for a pet soon. They are harder to take care of than dogs but so are Macaws and I've done really good with that).
I am happy. I am so fucking happy!!!
It feels like something is watching me from inside my ceiling fan. It is like it is connecting into the back of my head.
It seems like something alive is in my wall, like there has always been something living in my wall and altering my mind. I'd like to bust my wall open just to prove that there is no unimaginable evil lurking behind the darkness. For the most part though, I laugh at how absurd that is. I feel pretty insane but in a good way. %)
My body feels like it is twisting up and changing shape. Part of my mind feels connected to the mind of my macaw and the signals he sends are happy and curious. Perhaps he knows I am acting weird.
I love, I love, I love
I love it all
I love you all
Loving is really what I want to do more than anything else
The world is fucking beautiful and sad, and scary and exciting, sometimes all at the same time. I normally have a bleak view of life and of the world, but right now I know deep down that I was wrong. I know life is a beautiful thing and good is greater than evil and pain.
Love and light to everyone out there. May all your souls be filled with love and joy.
I hope I can spread as much love as possible and also help this planet instead of helping to destroy it like most of us do. I know I could do more, though I do recycle everything that can be recycled locally and try to conserve energy. Too many people get annoyed when I ask them for empty bottles/other recyclables that they are trashing. I am actually picking up old bottles bags, and newspapers to recycle from several people but I haven't bothered trying to get anyone else to either recycle their own or save for me because the negativity they often aim toward me has gotten me to socially anxious to talk about or share that information. I don't know if that is just the type of thing that annoys people or if I am just an unlikable person.
I try to be nice but I often have no idea to behave with other people and haven't had or made a friend in 14 years (I'm 28 now). I don't know how to be anyone's friend, or even what the first step of doing so would be. I know my personality is abnormal. I know that most people think I am stupid, perhaps the way I move when I walk or the way I talk or the way I dress. I wish I knew how to be a more likable person.
It also annoys me greatly when adults insult me because I choose not to eat meat. I don't bitch about their diet. Most people don't do that, but I have been called gay for being vegetarian, for being anti-war, for becoming emotional when discussing the many horrors faced by people and particularly when I get emotional over mistreatment of animals. Fortunately, this doesn't happen much in college, just when talking with the rednecks and hicks that swarm the land near me. I did recently have someone call me and another person fags at college for chiming in on a one sided conversation on gay marriage, 3 opposing and 1 supporting. The opposing people used the same "we must defend marriage" shit as well as Santorum's slippery slope BS(also, please google Santorum and see what your first hit is :D
) The first one to speak up mentioned homosexuality in non-human animals. I spoke up and described differences such as genetic (xxy males), differences in brain structure(such as men having a certain brain structure matching that of a woman), and children feeling gay at very young ages <5y/o). The homophobe who did most of the talking flat out called me and the other pro equality people "buttfucking faggots" then said to me that I "sent his gaydar buzzing right off". What a jerk.
I think people believe I am gay. I consider myself asexual as intercourse is deeply disgusting and disturbing to me. I've been attracted to men and women, but would not fuck either. What the fuck is wrong with me? Everyone thinks I am stupid, gay, and either too socially inept or unlikable as a person to want to have anything to do with me and I am to shy to be the one who starts a relationship. I know you probably all think I am gay if you read all the shit I spewed. I act gay all the time, or else like a woman without enough emotional control.
Looking over my post and being a bit more sober, I would say maybe I am too sensitive and should stop reacting negatively or feeling so bad about various bad things
Time for another hit:Smoked 1mg AM-2201 eyeballed and 20mg 5-meo-dalt eyeballed. Snorted 60mg eyeballed pixie dust.
Whoa! Going way out. Must lie down.
Edit: -(added 2mg of DOI: Scraped maybe 2mg of DOI out of the carpet in the bottom of my drug safe and smoked it)
With eyes open, I feel like I am falling and I see occasional realistic hallucinations of animals that disappear in 1-5 seconds. None of them have been threatening and most are beautiful. With eyes closed, I am spinning rapidly in varying directions. It is a bit of a bit difficult to try to walk in this state. So high, very strong +3. I may have been on the verge of a +4 after my first doses of AM-2201 and 5-Meo-DALT. The tryptamine/phenethylamine visions are clearer now. I was afraid my BP might have been too high because of occasional moments of dizziness/lightheadedness but it was 151/94 P84, so no worries there.
I feel very happy but I feel as if their is something deeply wrong deep in my soul. I just want to be a good person, not bad or evil. I am in some way defective. That doesn't mean I am a bad or evil person. I just am not normal. I'm not even sure I want to be normal, because a lot of normal people are bad and some of the nicest people I have known were abnormal either culturally, psychologically, or intellectually and that includes the last real friend I had.
I have what I think are strong feelings of compassion and empathy both for humans and non-human animals but I don't know if I really feel these things. I think I feel them and now I personally think it is a good thing to feel strongly for others in trouble or need, even if other men think of you as gay or less masculine than normal. It is possible though that these thoughts and feelings are being placed there by an entity outside of my body and I don't really feel anything. I don't even know if I really exist. How does one know if ones thoughts and feelings are real? I don't know if we have any actual control over our thoughts and actions. Maybe we are biological machines whose destiny was laid out far before our birth and we have absolutely no control over our lives, actions, and feelings.
How can one tell if their mind is under some kind of alien control, whether it be by gods, extraterrestrials, machines, demons, or other people? I can't verify the legitimacy of my thoughts and feelings, so what proof is their that they are real? They feel completely real. Does that make them real? Or is it a delusion? I want to be real. Even moreso, I want everyone(whether human or another species) that I know to be real and to have thoughts and feelings. I want all of you to really exist.
Since I can neither prove nor disprove that any organism including myself is real and has feelings, I will assume that at least all higher animals (mammals, birds, many/most/all reptiles, and probably at least some amphibians, fish, and invertebrates) have thoughts and feelings, the higher ones possibly having emotions as complex as
Homo sapiens
Well, another 1.5mg measured hit of AM-2201, 25mg pixie dust, and maybe 0.5mg DOI smoked and eyeballed about 10-15mg 5-meo-dalt. snorted
I why will not probably shouldn't have added more substance to this. I will lock up all of this shit in my safe and give the keys to the keyholder because I have no self control over myself and could easy keep going till I reach death if I don't, though this still feels very benign on the body.
Love to you all,
I hope you all really exist. I think we really are real and I hope it so.
Typing well is too difficult
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I've been getting WD deja vu all day.
