Damn^ Heavy stuff. RIP ykm420..
Yeah, I know I'd probably be better off not doing it.. But right now I can't motivate myself to stay clean. When I get back here on sunday I'm going to admit I used. (I'm 95% sure I'll have to take a UA on monday anyway.)
And hopefully use that time. (the 7 days I'll be forced to stay inside) to reflect and maybe get a better grip on things.
If O-DT doesn't show up, the heroin I'm currently indulging in (and will this weekend as well) surely will show up. And i'll probably smoke some weed too, and possibly some 4-FA which will show up as regular amphetamines AFAIK. 3-MeO-PCP too but that doesn't show up.
I also have some buprenorphine stashed away, and some methadone.
So yeah, I guess I'll test out the OD-T properly in a few weeks when I'm allowed to leave again, and then if I get tested I'm not gonna say anything and wait for the results.
I get that you don't condone it, but I'm still looking for my motivation. I reckon it'll come back at some point. It just isn't here yet.

Being clean for a year in rehab, getting out and relapsing instantly fucked with my motivation / confidence a bit. Still working on getting over that and giving it my all again. It will take some time. Hopefully not too much.
OT: High as a kite on harroin (like 100mg) + 1.25mg lorazepam and I just took like 5-7mg methadone to accomplish the 'ron. Waiting for that to kick in now. Feeling gooood. Wish I had some weed, that'd be the cherry on top.

Cigs will have to do.