Nice job, P2C!
I've been getting a lot of memory loss from the large amounts of etizolame I've been taking: 3-5mg daily. Thankfully I don't notice any difference in anxiety on the days when I don't take it at all, or only take a tiny amount. After I taper off I definitely won't be going back to that drug. Gotta go back to the GP and see how much more diazedumb I can get. I actually haven't been taking any lately, since the etizolame + any beer I drink means I don't even remember going to bed, let alone needing to take any sleeping med.
OT: Having a single IPA before I get ready for work. A bunch of paperwork for health insurance and school just arrived this week, so I'm gonna need to fill that out soonish... I hate paperwork, just like everyone else :D For now though, it's my time to chill.
Cheers! I'm super glad with it, I can finally have some semblance of a normal life again now. Because the past year and a half have been quite shitty. 50% of the time (maybe a little less, but not
that much was spent in severe opiate withdrawal, and the rest of the time I was on super high doses of oxy (and/or occasionally heroin if I could score it). Let me tell ya, it's been miserable. I'm really glad to have the methadone now, just when summer is well upon us, as well as festival season.
Aside from not having to spend all my $ on street opiates (H, or methadone from some dude which was WAY overpriced - 10€/80mg - I paid 2€ for 14x60mg), leaving me money for truly fun things, like festivals etc. I can finally plan ahead a significant time, without having to worry that I will be too dopesick to actually go through with it when the time comes.
Yeah.. I'm super stoked about this, and I'm hoping this will change my life severely for the better.
240mg oxycontin & 120mg methadone (I can get it upped to 160, perhaps even 200mg/day later on if I so choose - within, say, a month - but I'm not planning to unless it's absolutey necessary. I'm also very curious how long my oxycontin will last me now that I have said hefty dose of methadone to take daily. I will not take the full dose of both drugs, that's a little much, and would make my tolerance even more ridiculously high than it already is.
Ideally, I will never run out of oxycontin, methadone, nor bromazepam from now on, or better said starting from the beginning of July, (which is when I get my new oxycontin scripts for july and exceptionally august too, that means 6(!!) scripts for 30x80mg oxy - it's because my doc is on vacation in august that I'm getting 2 months worth, but I digress). I think that this should be do-able. Even for an opiate fiend like myself.
Like I said in my previous post also, but feel like repeating because it's so true; I'm also
really,
really happy with my new psychiatrist. Super sympathetic guy, really understandong, clearly experienced in treating all manner of addictions. It is also very clear that he is genuinely trying to help me get my life back on track. He doesn't treat an (like myself, my best friend neither - he also goes there) addict like a 'lesser' person AT ALL. I can be honest and open with him about everything (drug related and otherwise), and he never makes me feel awkward through his reaction, quite the opposite. His reaction causes me to feel comfortable with discussing it. (which most doctors make impossible, because if I tell on of said doctors about 1/1000th of what I told him during my 1st appointment, they get all condescending and judgey - not to mention they do nothing to treat you, they basically want you out of their office asap).
So yeah, I'm a happy panda. He's a better psychiatrist than I dared imagine, and with my GP rx'ing me a nice amount of oxy & my 12mg bromazepam/day, I don't see myself running out of opiates anymore any time soon. Sure, I'll still buy a little H from time to time (if it's available), but I don't think see any need to spend a dime more than I choose to on drugs. I will never again offer to overpay for an opiate cause I'm dopesick.
Hell yeah! I actually *might* be having the oppertunity to buy some H this week. I will definitely buy some if so, but I won't buy even close to the amount I would have bought pre-methadone (in which case it would be my only source of opiates until the beginning of july..). Until then managin on the 'done is easy, and after that, I'll have oxycontin if I really want a
strong opiate high, that I prefer over H. Especially when combined with, say, 20mg-40mg methadone & benzo(s).
Ok, enough tears of joy. Now it's time to enjoy the summer. Hit up festivals, visit some friends in Serbia in August, you know.. Live life again! Ah, looking forward to the rest of the summer boys 'n girls!!!
OT: 120mg methadone, 24mg bromazepam, 56mg diphenhydramine.
/Edit: Oh right, I'm about to light a spliff as well!
Peace sweet sweet bl'ers!
) between work shifts. sunday and monday are my long days so after i get out this evening i'll be very pleased.
