phatass
Bluelighter
slightly buzzed from a bottle of wine and 190mg diazepam
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How High Are You? v. Still high from Bob Loblaw's and leftwing's birthday bash!
- Thread starter Jabberwocky
- Start date
phatass
Bluelighter
Tryptamine*Dreamer
Ex-Bluelighter
1 cup of poppies
150mg hydroxyzine
1.5g gabapentin
250mg primidone
2mg clonidine
200mg seroquel
Feeling very comfortable and care free.
Yes, a very nice recipe.
I guess I was just having a really bad day. I had been reading about various atrocities and injustices and thinking about how everyone I love will die. That caused my already bad mood to get much worse. Usually I get in these moods for no apparent reason. This time it was partly from reading about depressing things and thinking about all the terrible things that go on in this world and the thoughts of death that I could not get out of my head.
I tend to have mood swings and either get to a point where I am so sad and depressed that I want to die or I get angry and irritable and start yelling at people for the smallest reasons. Sometimes the moodswings are positive and make me feel really good, but they are more often bad.
The doctor took me off of my mood stabilizer. I put myself on a different one, lamotrigine, but I have not yet worked myself up to a very effective dose.
I don't know why they took me off of the one I was on. It was working really well. Maybe it was for the best. The one I was on (Depakote) had potentially dangerous side effects, especially for the liver. The one I replaced it with is safer and not dangerous to the liver. It also has an antidepressant effect.
I was recently in a mental hospital for being suicidal. My depression has not cleared up, but it is not as bad most of the time as it was before that. That mental hospital should be shut down for the lack of services to patients and for the way they treat patients. I'm not going to go into detail about all of the awful things about that place, you can look in this thread for a description of the place in my earlier post about it. They allowed me to get 1-2 hours of sleep per night for 11 nights, the last 3 no sleep at all. They knew it, I told them repeatedly that I could not sleep due to the snoring people in my room and they neither gave me effective sedatives or moved me to a quieter room. I was hallucinating all kinds of shit from the lack of sleep by the last couple of days due to sleep deprivation. There were also no therapists for patients to talk to about their problems. Nothing to do but stare at walls most of the time. They threatened to keep me longer when I asked to talk to my lawyer, which I had every right to do and retaliating against a patient for that would violate the law. They told my sister in law I was there without my permission, violating doctor/patient confidentiality. I could go on another page or two about all the bad things and the lies I was told. In the end they didn't even give the right diagnosis. They diagnosed me with drug induced mood disorder instead of major depression even though I made it clear that my depression started 5 or 6 years before I ever used a drug. They also diagnosed me with personality disorder not otherwise specified. I'd agree with that last diagnosis, but the first one was wrong. My blood starts to boil every time I think about that place. It was more like a prison than a hospital. The only thing they did for patients was give medication. No counseling, therapy sessions, and almost no activities or entertainment. Being stuck in a hell hole like that makes it harder for someone with a mental illness to recover and would probably cause a normal person to become depressed.
150mg hydroxyzine
1.5g gabapentin
250mg primidone
2mg clonidine
200mg seroquel
Feeling very comfortable and care free.
Yes, a very nice recipe.
I guess I was just having a really bad day. I had been reading about various atrocities and injustices and thinking about how everyone I love will die. That caused my already bad mood to get much worse. Usually I get in these moods for no apparent reason. This time it was partly from reading about depressing things and thinking about all the terrible things that go on in this world and the thoughts of death that I could not get out of my head.
I tend to have mood swings and either get to a point where I am so sad and depressed that I want to die or I get angry and irritable and start yelling at people for the smallest reasons. Sometimes the moodswings are positive and make me feel really good, but they are more often bad.
The doctor took me off of my mood stabilizer. I put myself on a different one, lamotrigine, but I have not yet worked myself up to a very effective dose.
I don't know why they took me off of the one I was on. It was working really well. Maybe it was for the best. The one I was on (Depakote) had potentially dangerous side effects, especially for the liver. The one I replaced it with is safer and not dangerous to the liver. It also has an antidepressant effect.
I was recently in a mental hospital for being suicidal. My depression has not cleared up, but it is not as bad most of the time as it was before that. That mental hospital should be shut down for the lack of services to patients and for the way they treat patients. I'm not going to go into detail about all of the awful things about that place, you can look in this thread for a description of the place in my earlier post about it. They allowed me to get 1-2 hours of sleep per night for 11 nights, the last 3 no sleep at all. They knew it, I told them repeatedly that I could not sleep due to the snoring people in my room and they neither gave me effective sedatives or moved me to a quieter room. I was hallucinating all kinds of shit from the lack of sleep by the last couple of days due to sleep deprivation. There were also no therapists for patients to talk to about their problems. Nothing to do but stare at walls most of the time. They threatened to keep me longer when I asked to talk to my lawyer, which I had every right to do and retaliating against a patient for that would violate the law. They told my sister in law I was there without my permission, violating doctor/patient confidentiality. I could go on another page or two about all the bad things and the lies I was told. In the end they didn't even give the right diagnosis. They diagnosed me with drug induced mood disorder instead of major depression even though I made it clear that my depression started 5 or 6 years before I ever used a drug. They also diagnosed me with personality disorder not otherwise specified. I'd agree with that last diagnosis, but the first one was wrong. My blood starts to boil every time I think about that place. It was more like a prison than a hospital. The only thing they did for patients was give medication. No counseling, therapy sessions, and almost no activities or entertainment. Being stuck in a hell hole like that makes it harder for someone with a mental illness to recover and would probably cause a normal person to become depressed.
Sweet P
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2009
- Messages
- 5,243
The day sweet P quits meth is the day i quit benzos.... lol
Haha, you're on! I don't see it happening though, either way.
i've been smoking meth base (yes, you read right bitches!) for 3 days straight. i've never been this fucking high in my life.. so mellow..
i'm so horny i could fuck for days. no joke. probably gonna party on it all weekend. the shit never ends! 1/3g has gone 2 1/2 days and i still have 1/2 of that left in my pipe
i probably haven't put the pipe down for an hour... but of course i lost track of time a while ago
i'm so horny i could fuck for days. no joke. probably gonna party on it all weekend. the shit never ends! 1/3g has gone 2 1/2 days and i still have 1/2 of that left in my pipe
i probably haven't put the pipe down for an hour... but of course i lost track of time a while ago
Bob Loblaw
Bluelight Crew
Dropped acid 20 hours pass and I'm very soberish. Decided to bang some diesel to lvel out more and ease my exhausted body... Now I'm nodding out slightly and the hallucinations came back lolwtf
haha i've had that happen, when smoking bud the next day of a trip
i'm hallucinating as well. fishtank vision.. the floor is moving in swirling patterns and when i close my eyes i see these multicolor ink-blot patterns running across in an zigzag motion.. i also see some other distortions but can't really explain them right now
hahabtw read about meth base.. this is real base tho. liquid meth; in its pure smokeable form (you can't just go out and find this shit.. it's much more potent than any crystal i've had, even 98% pure
-G
Sweet P
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2009
- Messages
- 5,243
Meh... I'll just stick with my pure, uncut crystal rocks. I got about 3 hours sleep last night and have started again today.
Tiesto
Bluelighter
I've had 80mg of codeine, and a few rum and cokes.
I'm studying like fucking crazy and it is driving me nuts.
I just cut open an old straw I used for smoking meth a while back. I dragged my finger down the inside of the cut open halves and snorted the powder I got...lol Couldn't have been more than 10mg, but whatever. I have a little more focus now.
Time for another drink.
I'm studying like fucking crazy and it is driving me nuts.
I just cut open an old straw I used for smoking meth a while back. I dragged my finger down the inside of the cut open halves and snorted the powder I got...lol Couldn't have been more than 10mg, but whatever. I have a little more focus now.
Time for another drink.
that's pretty good for a good time. i smoked through a little over 2.5g mon-tues night. that's a record for me, by a long shot. i hadn't done it in a few months either.. it was almost too much but it was a celebration for my friend who insisted, so fuck it.. but yea i was really fucking spaced haha
i love good meth. d-amp is my med but gives me too much anxiety to enjoy anything on it anyore. luckily i won't have to take it again for a while
Sweet P
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2009
- Messages
- 5,243
I've nearly smoked a whole gram of pure.
Trouble is, I've got an appointment at the drug & alcohol service in a couple of hours!
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I've nearly smoked a whole gram of pure.
Trouble is, I've got an appointment at the drug & alcohol service in a couple of hours!
haha. i mean in a few hits - out of a meth bong.. gd knows how much i've smoked today. probably a couple gs so far
i'm also drinking some of it. hopefully i won't heave. i'm coming up on it already & sweating like crazy
Tiesto
Bluelighter
Yea there's no way I could smoke 2.5g that fast.
The most I've ever had in my possession at one time was 1.7g, and that took me roughly 4 - 5 days to get through. And I was binging. By the end I was fucked. Like, I threw up this nasty, nasty, NASTY STUFF. Picture what meth looks like after you've chased it a couple of times back and fourth. How it starts to get brown. What I threw up literally looked like that - tons of 2 - 3cm long chunks. DIRTY. If I didn't know better I swear I was taking the smoke in through my stomach and not my lungs - obviously I didn't - but still. Meth makes me hear too many voices. 3 days is as far as I should push it. Hitting 120 hours awake turned me into a complete paranoid mess.
jaguraguguru
Bluelighter
I seriously wish I could try some meth at some point. I don't give a fuck if it's freebase, crystal, pure, impure, whatever. I just want to try the drug methamphetamine, even if I could only eat it. It's basically the only "hard" drug I haven't found (other than crack, which I'm not looking for and wouldn't do anyway). Is it less anxiety-producing than amphetamine? Seems like people can do grams upon grams of meth, but no more than 200 mgs of amphetamine. What's with that? Clearly meth is stronger than amphetamine, so why the disparity?
On topic: Buzzing on caffeine actually, as I rarely consume much anymore. Thinking about a nice bupe dose, but I'm supposed to study for a Genetics test tomorrow. Damn, I love that drug. It's so nice and mellow and good
On topic: Buzzing on caffeine actually, as I rarely consume much anymore. Thinking about a nice bupe dose, but I'm supposed to study for a Genetics test tomorrow. Damn, I love that drug. It's so nice and mellow and good
it should melt relatively clear. if it burns, it's brown. if something burns before the rest melts, you got msm. if it all burns up, you got something else
yea think of it like caffeine vs amp. amp has less peripheral effects than caffeine, so more d-amp can be tolerated by the body. the same applies to meth vs amp
re:how high are you? - about 2ft off the ground
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Tiesto
Bluelighter
^it does melt relatively clear
It stays clear until it gets to about a 1/4 or a 1/5 of what was originally in the foil.
It doesn't "burn" in the sense of the word. Sure if I put too much heat on it (high flame on the lighter) it'll bubble and burn, but ya I rarely do that
on topic: 40mg more of codeine and finishing off the last of my rum.
maybe i'll take some zopiclone soon.
It stays clear until it gets to about a 1/4 or a 1/5 of what was originally in the foil.
It doesn't "burn" in the sense of the word. Sure if I put too much heat on it (high flame on the lighter) it'll bubble and burn, but ya I rarely do that
on topic: 40mg more of codeine and finishing off the last of my rum.
maybe i'll take some zopiclone soon.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
numbing the senses with 150mg diazepam, 900mg tramadol, 600mg codeine, bought a 1/2 oz of green and a few vodkas to chase down in between hits from the bong. feeling pretty uninhibited in a good way. can;t wait to get my 3.6 gram morph on monday to get my nod properly:D