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How High Are You v. Not High Enough for this Life

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Another 80mg of oxy and 1mg alprazolam/xanax. Chainsmoking cigarettes because they taste so damn fine on opiates!

Interesting. It's the exact opposite for me. I'm not a smoker, and if I do smoke tobacco on my own initiative, then it's usually cigars; but the only times I've smoked when high on opis were rather unpleasant. Maybe it has something to do with the reasons why I don't smoke - I don't like it in the first place, so why should I like it when on opioids? Bleh, dunno.

OT: drunk on about 16 ml of tBuOH. It's a funny substance. Can't quite tell what it is, but it's somewhat different from ethanol. I like it though. I hate long come-ups and this stuff can be taken in one dose and gets me high in 10-15 mins. That long I can wait.
 
I'd be careful with that substance drunkie, seeing as you are predisposed to alcohol addiction it kind of feels like a risky substance for you to be playing around with.

Not saying that to be judgemental here! I'm merely expressing my concern as I really like you dude and I wouldn't want to see you fall into that kind of addiction again, as I know you've seriously struggled with alcohol for a good while.

OT: About to shoot up with 120mg oxy. In case people hadn't noticed, my plans to put down the pin failed miserably.. I am still giving my arms some time to heal though..
 
Thanks for the concern P2C. It's appropriate here, because the stuff is very cheap, has the right duration, is similar to ethanol (even better?) and gives no hangover as far as I can see. That can make it a really dangerous substance for me. However, I'll try to play it safe and as long as it doesn't permanently damage me, no harm no foul, right?

OT: decided to skip the codeine yesterday (first time in months!), so obviously didn't sleep all that well, so the genius me decided to drink a shitton of tert-butanol to fall asleep. It worked, but now it's almost noon and I'm still feeling somewhat intoxicated. Had coffee a few hours ago, and the OH seems to be fading away slowly. Going to call it a day early today and go get me some codeine.
 
Long time lurker-first time poster. Decided to join BL finally because my partner and I recently outted ourselves to our families about 3 weeks ago and admitted our addictions, (we each had a script for #120 OxyCodone 30mgs a piece-plus he had a script for #60 2mg Xanax bars a month). Of course, we could never stretch it to the end of the month; in fact, between our scripts, we would usually blow through those in a week, maybe less. The xanies we could usually stretch to the month but even after a while we'd be running short of those before our fill and I know most of you BLer's know what it's like to go through the electrical zaps+crippling depression+no sleep from Benzo wd's. ESPECIALLY if you're out of opiates ? And like clockwork we would start the scheming as to ways in which we could cop, score, spend the rent money, make it up "later" with the imaginary money we were always going to procure through some sense of magic, delaying the bills and just plain hopping back on the merry-go round once again-only to find ourselves back to square one all over again; although square one seemed to come sooner and sooner as time inevitably goes on.

So to answer your question, we have moved on to the Suboxone+Kpin route as of now under our families supervision. All though it sure ain't as exciting as the good old' days...(we had a great 5 year run where we were independently wealthy and just traveled and surfed and got blasted 24/7), but alas, happiness, like all things, is just a fleeting emotion and we all know we're only chasing the pot of gold at end of that infinite rainbow (albeit an exciting journey nonetheless). But these days, I've just resigned myself that feeling "good" is good enough for me...at least for the time being. Well that's just one junkie's opinion. Cheers
 
10 ml tert-butanol, 1000 mg codeine and a medium-strength coffee. Can't wait for the codeine to kick in, fed up with the withdraws. Hope the coffee won't fuck me over, because I've been drinking it daily (albeit once daily, and this is second coffee today) for a few weeks and daily caffeine is rarely good for me. Anyway, time to enjoy what little time to rest I have, which is like 16 hours, before having to work my ass off again. Stay high Bluelight! But also, stay safe!

Cheers

E: wow, as soon as I got to the end of this, the combo hit me. And it's only been about 6 minutes. I think I'm in for a treat. Happy nods Pill2Chill et al!

E2: realized that I had ordered some nifoxipam (along some LSD-esque psych, which I haven't done in more than 2 years! so, excited for that too) recently. Does anyone have any experience with dissolving that stuff? Thinking what solvent to use for it, because using scales for that is out of the question. Even the scales in my lab are useless for ~1 mg measurements. The active dose is around 1mg, right? Damn, I'm high.
 
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22.5mg hydrocodone, 30mg temazepam. I am going to be trying lots of drugs I've never used before soon. I hope to do smack and crack before this day is over and a psychedelic I have never tried but I don''t know which one. Possibly 4-ho-amt.
And I hope to do a dozen new drugs within a month. I think I have killed 127,000 people in the USA so far today and it is early. I have died more times in this life than anyone else from what Brightheart told me when he was in my head. And I have died 327 times so far today. That is because I am murdering the government and killing bad people who run the Deet torture (they are mostly telepathic raccoons that are about as intelligent as humans but Terrell has some bears) through the power of God. I can't wait till I get a TARDIS to leave in. But I probably have to keep coming back and that sucks.
 
Check into a mental Institute and get on heavy antipsychotics T*D. I know you have a deep mistrust for mental institutes and probably by extension this type of meds, but it's your 'condition' that is causing this as well. If you'd just trust someone smart enough to realize you need to be on antipsychotics.. You might realize after a while the state of plain insanity you are in right now (and have been in for a long time by now).

I'm very patient but your posts filled with crazy are starting to get on even my nerves. Not trying to be mean or disrespectful man, but GET HELP! It's been clear for a long time now that you need it!

Ot: very high and noddy on oxy, bromazepam and alprazolam. Feels good, man! %)
 
Woke up, ate Valium, drinking coffee. On my way out the door. I wonder if the commute will be 25 or 45 minutes today.
 
I'm done with Heroin, for good.
I couldn't stop using Heroin because my Methadone tolerance went higher when I relapsed.
My dose was 80mg when I relapsed.. The days I didn't use Heroin while on 80mg of Methadone, I would get extreme cravings, minor chills, hot flashes, and worst of all RLS induced Insomnia. My legs would just NOT stop flopping up and Down when trying to sleep.

So this past Monday, after 3-4 month binge of smoking Heroin, I got a 20mg dose raise from my clinic, I'm now at 100mg even and it's working like a CHARM. I love the first 4-6 hours after dosing, Methadone is euphoric as fuck to me..I love Methadone.

--100mg Methadone
--40mg Diazepam
--3mg Clonazepam
--2100mg Gabapentin
--175mg Hydroxyzine
--50mg Promethazine
--550mg Naproxen Sodium
--250mg Depekote
--Cigarettes, Winston red 100s
 
Got a grand total of three hours of sleep last night. Was woken up by a phone call from someone saying they had a free TV for me. Went to pick it up, they also gave me a little bit of speed (about 1 lines worth). I IV'd it, of course....after that and a cup of black coffee I feel awake & pleasantly high (but not tweaked, thankfully)
 
75mg hydrocodone, 5.5mg alprazolam, 125mg diphenhydramine. Will probably have 2.1g DXM and a bunch of weed later.


GOD IS DEAD. AND NO ONE CARES. IF THERE IS A HELL, I'LL SEE YOU THERE

GOODBYE BLUELIGHT. I HATE THIS PLACE


Got 4 hours sleep now on Molly and k
Weeeee

I'm Canadian hell sounds nice. See ya there
 
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Check into a mental Institute and get on heavy antipsychotics T*D. I know you have a deep mistrust for mental institutes and probably by extension this type of meds, but it's your 'condition' that is causing this as well. If you'd just trust someone smart enough to realize you need to be on antipsychotics.. You might realize after a while the state of plain insanity you are in right now (and have been in for a long time by now).

I'm very patient but your posts filled with crazy are starting to get on even my nerves. Not trying to be mean or disrespectful man, but GET HELP! It's been clear for a long time now that you need it!

Ot: very high and noddy on oxy, bromazepam and alprazolam. Feels good, man! %)

try having to look after someone like that bra. they won't seek help.. they think they fine and anyone who tells them they are unwell is either persecuting them or has been turned against them, it's a lot to deal with. i might have to call an ambulance for a 72 hour evluation. imma see how things go tho. last resort.


ot: oxycodone like ptc, and i have also defeated the time release cos it so easy in our countries. me by chewing tho. 80 mgs, and i have w8ed all day for this chew, so it gonna be good.
will take like 10 mins, jus washed it down.

at loprazolam, always a nice addition to a long day.
 
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Call one for who, T*D? Whoever is his caregiver is NOT doing a good job. T*D's rants span years. It's too bad; there's kind of been a downward spiral evident in his posts for a while now, despite everyone pleading with him to seek help.

It's why, for better or worse, his posts are largely ignored in this thread. Psychosis is not pretty.

I wasn't doing too great earlier, then I got home and did some manual labor before smoking a spliff. Doing better now.
 
^ For my mom, she has cancer. But something has been making her act pretty much identical to TD, I don't want to have to go the ambulance psych hold route (with all her pain problems and such). But Every time I go there I she acts liek TD. Right down to pain waves being sent through the air, and people surveling her, it's quite upsetting.
All she has is unqualified carers looking after her who just go a long with what she says, the paranoia all of it, cos she is paying them.

I'm getting her a journal tomorrow when I go see her, for every cent she lays out i want her to journal it. I've had to carry her through this month because of her overpaying carers, loans she forgets etc. It has to stop. Getting through the month is hard enough for me, but helping her when her money runs out on top, is too much. Specially when it could be avoided by proper mental health care. But anything related to psychiatrist is a swearword to her (probably to TD too), because they think they've never been more lucid. It's enough to make me crazy sometimes!

Anyway one more oxy for me then sleep.

Peace buddys
 
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