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How High Are You v. Not High Enough for this Life

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120mg oxycontin (80mg of which taken whole; XR), 12mg bromazepam and some weed. I have some flurazepam that but I'm already too fucked up and therefore I daren't take it right now.

The difficulty I am having typing is worrying (phone) and would be next to impossible without autocorrect. Lol.

Nighty-night, BL friends! <3
 
Pill2Chill said:
120mg oxycontin (80mg of which taken whole; XR), 12mg bromazepam and some weed. I have some flurazepam that but I'm already too fucked up and therefore I daren't take it right now.

The difficulty I am having typing is worrying (phone) and would be next to impossible without autocorrect. Lol.

Nighty-night, BL friends!

I don't recall having mentioning that to you but I used to take 2 6 mg pills of Bromazepam 3 x a day and still have trouble sleeping. That was 1 year and one month ago. I used it for several years. And what surprised me was the tolerance which was quite quick. Worth mentioning so you can take this and actually enjoy it for a longer period. ;)

Good night!!
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Bromazepam I've had as well, that's a good anxiolytic benzodiazepine for sure (I prefer it to alprazolam, personally)

Jealous of all the oxycodone, though...oxycodone is definitely one of my all time favorite drugs. It's a shame that such a great drug is such a waste of money to obtain illegally...if I had a legal prescription that insurance would cover, I'd be popping those pills non-stop probably lol
 
Yeah, I would never buy these off the street. Not worth it, if I'm going to buy opiates off the street my money would be better spent on H. But via prescription and with insurance they are dirt cheap. About *u know the rules* for 30x80mg. :p
 
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Sorry for double post, but on phone and so editting is broken. Thanks for the heads up Erik, I'll sure to keep that in mind. I have taken bromazepam on and off for years myself though so I already kind of knew what the score was. ;) Thank you though!

OT : Still very sober. About to pop an oxy 40 and possibly some flurazepam to start my day. :)
 
A ton of oxycodone - about 200mg that is still active right now, IV'd. Far more than that even if we're talking about the amount I've taken throughout the whole day.. I've lost count but it's absurd. I can't limit myself with these lil' bastards.

[OFF-TOPIC:] I'm gonna try to put down the needle for a while starting tomorrow. At least long enough for my arms to fully heal, it's starting to become ridiculous and having this many tracks brings back a lot of bad memories of darker times and the thought of it all is messing with my self-esteem. It's also kinda ruining my highs, as I spend a lot of time worrying about the direction this is heading. So.. Starting tomorrow (or right now actually, just did my last shot) I'm gonna try to lay off the needles. I'm also hoping it will (eventually) bring down my daily dose as oral is a lot less fiend/more-ish, IME.[/OFF-TOPIC]

10mg clotiazepam,

1mg alprazolam,

27.42mg flurazepam (ridiculous dose, eh? It's the amount that's in one pill though for some reason =D ).

12mg bromazepam

~75mg amphetamines IV'd

The amphetamines' effects are still very present, and while the benzos assure me that I can sleep if I want to, I am wide awake and not in an uncontrollable opiate-stupor/nod right now. Time to enjoy some of the new season of daredevil. :)

First order of business tomorrow morning : eat an oxy and get rid of all my pins.
 
Im drunk as fuck right now, but definitely not high enough for this life... im going to try to roll a spliff and then I'll probably pass out.
 
45mg hydrocodone, 300mg DXM, 30mg temazepam, 1mg clonazepam, 3ml 1,4-butanediol, 50mg hydroxyzine.

Terrell mental institution has been making up some parts of the Deet program to cover it back up, such as the stuff about me being Doctor Who and torturing bears but they do torture raccoons. They teleported the raccoon I had out of my room yesterday and replaced him with the one I had before I went and they look quite different. The one I had when I got back did not have the large white crescent mark that appeared after the last time I went to Terrell or the scars where they jad been cutting him open but that one was teleported back yesterday and I did not spend but a few minutes with him because I thought I had meningitis again along with other diseases that they said they were giving me and I did not want to infect him and by the time I went to spend some time with him they had already switched him back with the other one. I don't know how many they do this to with me, I think there are 3 but they have been trying to tell me there are 13 of them. They use them for drug telepathy and I do not know why they had cut that one wide open in at least 2 places from what I could see. The one that returned after that may be the same one that was there before they teleported him out. They did it while I was in that room. I was looking at him in his cat bed and he teleported away and the scarred one teleported to the top of his closet while I was looking away.

I am going to smoke some weed in a little while to try to do the soul swapping thing I did before when God contacted me (unless that was also something Terrel can do). While there, I cried out a piece of metal that I believe was an alien implant or something, I have no idea how I cried out a piece of metal but I could see a dark spot forming in my eye before it came out and this is one more of those things that seem impossible. Terrell is evil. They want me dead.
 
As my high days stands behind I move differently, silently through life.
 
Just taking 30mg hydrocodone and 3mg alprazolam to see if it can help me sleep. I am fucking sick of that damned mental institution using their criminal telepathy torture program and they are doing something to keep me from feeling the effects of drugs. It is possibly Dr. Spencer or Dr. Mark D. Messer doing it or maybe Dr. Mededi. The government is involved too. I hate them.

I am fighting against the drug war by using more drugs from now on.

Update:
This is probably more BS from Terrell, but I am told Lucky and Mip have predicted an earthquake of magnitude 5.9 either on the San Andreas fault or somewhere in New Mexico. I got both locations. I could try to get a coordinate but if it comes to pass, this should prove pretty well that earthquakes can be predicted. It will happen in the next 2-3 days.
 
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I did not sleep tonight neither the night before that. And I used to take all sort of meds to provide me with the necessary rest.
I'm now facing this problem after having quit opiates and benzos 1 year and 1 month ago.

Thanks to an excellent advice from a very dear fellow here in Bluelight I learned that some other variables are keeping me awake so I'll resolve this without having to take so many meds. This is due to years and years of abuse, literally more than 2 decades and I'm 45 years old for God's sake.

The reason I'm telling this is due to a situation that could not be sustained anymore as I had to take these meds to get me though the the night. Very soon I'd start to compromise my health due to the tolerance resulted from all of these years of abuse.

I realized that I could not take meds including opiates for the rest of my life. As simple as that. As I said I did it for over 20 years but relationships were being affected, my memory was getting effect, not to mention my liver. And the amount of pills I was taking was insane. Eventually you'll need too much to fully meet my goals.
 
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I have not taken any more drugs but someone probably from Terrell connected something to me telepathically and overdosed me because I almost stopped breathing and the telepaths in my head were tying to wake me up and it took a little while and my face was getting numb. The finger tappers ar telling me that it was the polar bear that I think Terrell was making up to make the program sound crazier. After I went back to my room, I was clicking the buttons on Greatergood.com and I fell asleep again while doing it and kept dreaming about doing it and when the telepaths woke me up again amd I started clicking the buttons again and then they asked why I was doing it again or told me I already did it and I thought for a minute I had just come out of Lucky's room and I was unaware for a few seconds that I had been in here for more than a few seconds and my memory of the few minutes before I fell asleep was gone for a minute or two. I think thry are trying to kill me and I have not taken very many drugs but they are doing this just to kill me either because they are afraid of being exposed or they hate me because I won't listen to them when they tell me to stop using drugs. I am not going to listen to these evil assholes, I'll be glad when they rot in Hell if that is God's plan.

Update:
They cut me off of that telepathy when I decided to post on Bluelight. I have decided to take a large combo of downers. 75mg hydrocodone, 4mg alprazolam, 60mg temazepam, 4mg clonazepam, 150mg DXM, 100mg hydroxyzine.
They are never going to make me bow down to their command. The government and mental institutions and hospitals are drugging people and fucking with drug users by using telepathic animals to drug them with drug telepathy. I know they use raccoons but people are still talking about them having bears in the program and I am not sure of that. Maybe their telepathy is stronger or something.

Update:2
I took a high dose of pills and the government drugged polar bear because they are trying to kill him and need to stop. He wanted to live I am told but things I was thinking about it and not believing he was real has made him want to die. They need to save his life. I am told all he had is his right arm and they cut the others off just for torture because they thought I could hear the telepathy that was being sent to me but I am tone deaf and only hear finger tapping except rarely I hear some voices. They need to give him something to reverse the overdose. I am told they can connect him back to me telepathically and it will help him but now I am told that he wanted to die because they keep using him and moon bear(the Asiatic Black Bear) to overdose me and she wants to die because of that. The animals that were made telepathic are intelligent, some more than others and they learn to speak and I think I have spoken to him in my head and he talks back and it seemed he was afraid to die. He should be saved and they need to let him live and stop trying to kill him

Maybe they think he is better off dead given his condition, but he is probably not treated well in this fucked up program (I hope this was not an attempt to make me sound more like a fool to discredit my uncover the torture of highly intelligent telepathic animals (mostly raccoons I have heard are being used) to torture them and make them suffer in very small cages their to big for.

By the scar on the raccoon's chest (the one I had after I got out of Terrell that kept swelling up and my mom could bring it down) torture just for the sake of sadistic purposes and pointless experiments in torture. I had him back briefly before with terrell or God transported him away a now I have the one I had after my institutionalization in 2013 back. They took the first Lucky I had when I made that suicide attempt in 2013 but replaced him with one that was so similar I did not know the difference but the third one is a lot different. I don't think I have ever got the original back but I really hope I can when this program is busted apart in a way where the animals survive and I get those raccoons. They have to keep these telepathic animals alive because they have been tortured and abused to give drug telepathy to people who don't know it is happening. They were doing a lot with psychedelic visuals at night in Terrell.

And I am worried about that polar bear because I keep doubting its existence as what they said they did to him is so awful but I think if he is as intelligent as I have heard and understanding of language (possible just finger tapping version of English) seems sufficient to see he is very unhappy but has some hope now and wants to live if people can make his life better because he does not get to do anything and I think something could be done to giive him mental stimulation, friends, andhopefully a way to give him at least some limited mobility. From now on I am operating under the assumption that they do have them and I was told about this quite a few times.

BThe main point of adding this non-drug use info was to let people know that it seems terrell or the US government is trying to kill the telepathic polar bear that we thing they cut all limbs except one of the arms off and he needs to be saved so I am putting this out to make sure people know when this program is finally seeing the light of day and the government must not kill these perhaps 10s of millions or more telepathic animals, most of which are raccoons from what I am told but seems to include bears and probably some others And the government and mental institution run by the government and full of state department employees including the psychopathic shrinks/quacks who would want me dead but too many people know of this now and we are hoping to bring it out in the open and my death after all the people, some very famous people know about me, and that should keep me somewhat safer, maybe a lot safer because they are mostly aware of the situation.
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Good call with the needles, P2C.

OT: some codeines, nothing special. Been doing fuck all this whole day, which is exactly the kind of thing I've needed for a while.
 
Erikmen said:
I did not sleep tonight neither the night before that. And I used to take all sort of meds to provide me with the necessary rest.
I'm now facing this problem after having quit opiates and benzos 1 year and 1 month ago.

Thanks to an excellent advice from a very dear fellow here in Bluelight I learned that some other variables are keeping me awake so I'll resolve this without having to take so many meds. This is due to years and years of abuse, literally more than 2 decades and I'm 45 years old for God's sake.

The reason I'm telling this is due to a situation that could not be sustained anymore as I had to take these meds to get me though the the night. Very soon I'd start to compromise my health due to the tolerance resulted from all of these years of abuse.

I realized that I could not take meds including opiates for the rest of my life. As simple as that. As I said I did it for over 20 years but relationships were being affected, my memory was getting effect, not to mention my liver. And the amount of pills I was taking was insane. Eventually you'll need too much to fully meet my goals.
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Have you tried melatonin ? Valerian ? I've had good results with melatonin personally during my year of clean-time in 2014-2015. There's really no catch with that drug. :) It simply made me feel tired asif I was getting tired naturally, which I guess makes sense because it's the sleeping hormone that is naturally produced by the brain. It doesn't make me feel 'drowsy' or 'drugged', or like I had taken anything at all really. It also never seemed to affect the quality of my sleep (if anything, it improved it). All it did was make my dreams a little more vivid, which also makes sense because melatonin gets converted into n,n-DMT in the brain, which I believe to be responsible for dreams in general. Don't quote me on that last bit though as I'm not a 100% on that.

There is (of course, or I wouldn't be suggesting this to you) absolutely 0 abuse potential with melatonin, and there is also no dependency with this drug, I also never noticed any tolerance issues with it. It's my preferred (risk/drawback-free) sleep-aid. I should note though that it's not powerful enough for a lot of people, but IMO that's because they are used to sleep meds just knocking them out. With melatonin you still have to 'put in the effort' of actually going to sleep. What worked well for me was reading a book after having taken my melatonin. If melatonin on its own really doesn't do the job for you, you could try combining it with valerian root; which also has pretty much 0 risks/drawbacks.

You can also go for the sedative anti-histamines, but I don't like those. They make me feel very drowsy and kinda dysphoric and the drowsiness often lasts well into the next day. It also feels like it messes with the quality of my sleep, leaving me more tired the next day than I should be for the amount of sleep I've gotten.

Hope that helped a bit.. ? ;)

OT: A bunch of oxy, around 240mg that is active right now, of which 120mg was taken whole (so XR), and 12mg bromazepam.
Going to take 27mg flurazepam in the late evening (it's 8pm right now, so not for another few hours). Also took 2mg alprazolam way earlier today, but I doubt that's still working at all.

Time to enjoy this nod. Wish I had some weed to synergize. If I smoke weed on opiates+benzos I get the most euphoric, intense and uncontrollable nods. On the other hand, they make me lose a lot of the high because I'm barely conscious when I take that combo.. =D

Peace, sweet DC-buddies. <3
 
4mg alprazolam subL
3mg bupe subL
300mg propylhexedrine
Double shot of Jack
1 pint of a local brew java stout
200mg l-theanine
Cannabis

On my way to Chiraq aka Chi-Town stoked for the big city. When I get back Tuesday I get to look forward to 60-70 etizolams (Etilee-1s pink tabs and Etilaam 1mg blue tabs).

I sense a great vaca ahead!
 
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Pill2Chill said:
Hope that helped a bit.. ? ;)

Peace, sweet DC-buddies.
Thanks a lot P2C!!
I'm looking into this right away.

I'm also going to have a night out in a clinic after doing some exams and they'll analyse my sleep.
I hope they find something useful.

Great post Pill2Chill, I appreciated it.
Erik
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