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How High Are You? v. No It's 'Hi, How Are You?'

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friend gave me $$ to pick up bud for him. it was cheaper than anticipated so i used the spare cash on rolling tobacco (i broke one of my drug rules damnit, no buying tobacco!)

gonna roll up some spliffs to test the weed with. before any of yall call me an ass, my friend is chill w it. i dont pull quick ones on my besties.
 
Copped a half gram of some real nice heroin indeed. Took a generous 20 bump outta it now smoking cigs and gonna grab me a tall boy an some food..had a good night at work. I am feeling REALLY good man and have a shit ton of heroin left for hopefully s couple days.yreeeeeee boiii
 
just finished watching Airplane! for the first time (weve got clearance clarence roger roger whats your vector victor ahhahaa)

quite quite stoned still, damn. gonna kick it with my buddy for a bit in a minute and then return home to pass out. i've been unusually tired today

:|
 
played a show tonight, drank many beers, some third shift, some lagunitas sucks, a lagunitas lil' sumpin', smoked a bowl of reefer, stopped by the girlfriend's, smoked some heroin ( i hate smoking the shit, i just do it with her cause she doesnt like to see me shoot up )

now im about to ko, took 15mg valium and am rolling a joint.
 
Feeling nice and high smoking on 2 different dank cannabis strains+3mgs of xanax+ 50mgs of Hydrocodone. Hydros got me feeling nice and warm, love taking breaks from strong opiates to where weaker opiates work/feel better, cheaper for me. Also have a nice benzo buzz going. Goood evening!

edit: heavily medicated on some dank buds atm. spacced! %)
 
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Smoked a bowl of weed
.5 xanax
and just did heroin for the first time in years...

I'm floating good, waitin on the damn guy to get here so I can smoke more bud
 
damn wish i were higher 9mg etizoalm, 80mg of d-amp plugged blah not enough fuck me. Plugged 80mg of proscaline - not doing much. I need some cash. Gonna play rocksmith for a while and hope this proscaline actually hits me, probably fucked my tolerance from the weekend, god damn psych tolerance.

if it doesn't work out then another 80mg of d-amp for the butt should keep it satiated and happy for most of the night. I'd probably shoot someone to take a big rip off a hit of EPH, crack or meph/meth from a pipe right now. Fuck does that fiending ever go away?

and fuck i have school in 7 hours - fuck it.
 
morning (very early) dose oxy, make me well again (can't believe I'm uttering those words) and am pain free from 80 oc. gonna snort 80 more then will be able to carpe diem.

snorted 2 oxynorm 20s.

Jealous of you guy's weed, chron drought here.
 
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Way too much caffeine 8o Stuck at home with my charge and out of cigs and opiates for at least another couple hours slapping on a nicotine patch and hitting up whatever is OTC n the house to help w/ds. This is the fun part of being addicted to everymotherfuckingthing.
 
Now it is on. Thes rest of my postings will be placed in this one post so I don't make a bunch of posts unless I lose my mind and control.
My body seems to be collapsing in on itself and consuming itself.

I bad thought entered my mind but it has been deconstructed and I don't know what it was. Just rust, wires hard unpleasant where am i? It is sad and I don't know what it is. Black thing with white of beautiful form. I was suicidal yesterday but the dead can not die. I died when I was 14 years old and now I have to watch all the pain. There is no way out. I thought I was in college and I was going to drop out before I did this and give up on that shit because there is no point and I should give up but now I don't know how to drop out online because I am so high and my mom told me not to drop out just because I was depressed and I was going to do it any way but now I don't know how to do it so I ha ve to wait until this wears off to drop out. I don't know if I survived that suicide at 14 or if I died and went to another planet. Maybe this is the suicide portal.

I am not suicidal now but maybe all of us here are dead suicides. There was something I thought I wanted to try to do to make life better for a segment of a fractal branch of life forms (it is impossible to focus on everything but there is a segment I chose because I saw something good in it . I guess I failed to succeed at that thing I don't remember that probably wasn't important anyway. What seems important in my mind has no real significance. Words jumble. I'll try to restate




drop out and commit suicide some day in the future but not now or very soon. If I am alive I think I will try to force myself to stay alive as long as I can at least until Lucky dies. He is a raccoon so it will probobly be less than 20 years. My bird is a macaw and could possibly live 100 years and I can't be expected to delay my suicide that long. It is hard enough to delay it for one year.

Gonna leave the body in a minute. I'll report what I see on the other side, I guess. Too much despair. What is twisting in my brain? Something bad must end! I don't know what of what it is to me or does it even matter? Is it significant? What am I doing? I have lost myself now.
 
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Folley said:
Please stay safe TD.. no one wants you gone but yourself
Click to expand...
I wish I wanted to live but I don't. I did not choose to be born. I wish I felt like I wanted to live but I have always wanted an end. I want to destroy myself. I hate myself..

I have been getting good grades in colllege but last week I blew it off because I was too depressed to brush my teeth or bathe or drink water or really do anything, almost catatonic. I hate myself but maybe not enough to deny myself the possibility of having a chance at making life better for animals because I do have a drive and desire to make this world better. I want to do good things but I hate myself too much to get anything done. I don't know what kind of asshole this makes me but I am fucked in the head in some way I can't understand right now

I don't always hate myself.
I hate this world.

NOW
Snortaline to eject from my body for a bit
 
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