I tried to find this thread last night, but I had already lost my mind so I couldn't... I literally went fucking insane last night.
I took an eighth of some really potent shrooms that just fucked my world up. I remember dying, being very scared, I remember my ego dying, I remember being reborn, being in the sky, being a machine, everyone else being machines, and figuring out the secret to life. I couldn't remember my name, I couldn't find my pants, and I seriously thought I was going to be crazy and never remember who I was or what I used to be. I went from processing normal sensory information to a completely different sense, like looking through somebody else or something in my head. I was thinking in terms of anatomy, as I have been studying for an anatomy and physiology exam, so everything became 'mechanized' and mechanical. I kept trying to keep myself from being scared by saying over and over again that everything is logical, and that I wasn't going crazy, then my mind would do something more extreme to change that again. IE, I went from snapping into this confused state of mind in which I didn't remember anything about who I was (none of my stuff in my room even seemed like it was mine) to complete ego death, which was fucking insane (I have never had that strong of a trip). I saw my entire personality as a being, and then I saw it die. I felt what it felt like to die, and I went to just telling myself I wasn't scared of death anymore, then I just died; I saw it happen, haha.
I dunno, I don't think I was ready for this to happen when it did, I still feel wierd, I hope I won't turn into one of those tip me over im orange juice mother fuckers. Oh yeah, I traveled in time too, word, and through every part of my mind (it was a machine afterall). I don't really know if this makes sense, but I wanted to just type it. Crazy experience, I remember praying to god that I'd stop killing myself and stop smoking weed and drinking like everyday, then he just killed me to show me what it was like to die. I remember crying and trying to get help, because I was so fucking scared, then it all just went away, and i was a different person.
I wonder if I'm still the same, or if something has changed forever. I've wanted to have an intense hallucinogenic trip since I was 13. It's been 6 years, but damn i finally had the big one. I just wish I could have posted on here last night, I tried typing something but I couldn't form words, as I couldn't remember anything at that time. It probably would have rambled on about how I didn't know who I was or what was going on, that I had just watched myself die and was being taken over by machines or some shit.
Oh yeah, one more thing, not only could I not remember my name, I couldn't remember any of my family either. The only other person I noticed and interacted with was when I closed my eyes, I know this sounds retarded, haha; I saw this girl I've got a crush on, just sort of floating in pastel colored air, except she was naked, and it was great, haha. I remembered her name to, I'm pretty sure i may have been mumbling it or something when I was dying, just kinda trying to cling to something to save me.
I don't know if what I experienced is what everyone talks about with a strong trip, but damn! What a crazy fucking night, that how fucking high I was...