Tryptamine*Dreamer
Ex-Bluelighter
Smoked MXE+5F-AKB48
Dissolving
hope I don't die
I did something really dumb whatever days it was. I set limits and chems locked away but limits were too high and to much mixing chems and I knew it could be bad or kill but I was feeling kind of suicidal. I would have smoked cigarettes dippped in an arsenic compound and maybe eaten thallium if I didn't do something stupid with drugs. The drugs option is the one I chose. I am not sure which would have been more damaging, but I did the drugs instead of heavy metal poisoning because it would be more fun and that option became available
I'd write a trip report but nobody is going to believe me. it will sound like I am making it up and if someone else copies it they might die.
I thought I succeeded at a suicide attempt I made like 2 years ago - that was weird and depressing.
I am not dying now, It's just what MXE does with 5-F-AKB48. I wish I would have got more MXE. MXE and 3-Meo-PCP are really good and I want to use them every day until I die. I wish I had 3-meo-pcp but only MXE
Add Info: Just smoked a bump of MXE. Smoking is best MOA IMHO.
Edit: Add Info: 3:17PM - My mom wanted me to watch this movie with her earlier in my trip. She knew I was tripping. This happened yesterday and the day before, I think. I knew what the movie was and I told her I thought it would make me kill people if I watched it. I saw it a long time ago and I just remembered the part about a tornado. I end up watching a little of it but I don't know that it is the movie she was asking me about watching. Later, before an out of body experience but as it started from MXE she asked if I wanted to watch it again I thought it would be a serial killer flick by the title.
I wondered why she wanted me to watch that when she knew I was tripping on multiple things but I figured it must be about a good serial killer who kills people who really deserve to die or a funny serial killer. Gonna smoke another hit of MXE - maybe I can finish:3:28 okay - I figured she knew what she was doing so I let her watch it with me. I thought I was all of the important characters in the movie and it was almost like a VR experience - My Identity was lost completely but I felt like I was living the lives in my TV. It turned out to not be about a serial killer. I guess she knew what she was doing. I looked to download more of it because there was no tornado in it and I somehow found Mr Bungle. I've been wanting to download his music for a long time and I was really wanting to listen to My Ass Is On Fire and he has demo albums that are pretty good. I downloaded that show for my mom too. Grizzly Adams. I think it is part of the tv show Bonanza because Adam and Ben are on both tv shows. About to smoke more MXE - Time=3:40PM
Edit: Now it is 5:13PM and My body is dissolving. I know I won't die this time. I found the keys and if I want to I can Inject like 2mg of 25c-nbome and 20mg 5-meo-mipt or other doses of other things but I will probably do the sane thing and tell the safekeeper. She lost the keys to the small safe so it is not locked and I think I know where the other keys are. I thought I raped my mind so bad that it would be forever but I was wrong. Now I am like a surreal painting as viewed by someone else
Dissolving
hope I don't die
I did something really dumb whatever days it was. I set limits and chems locked away but limits were too high and to much mixing chems and I knew it could be bad or kill but I was feeling kind of suicidal. I would have smoked cigarettes dippped in an arsenic compound and maybe eaten thallium if I didn't do something stupid with drugs. The drugs option is the one I chose. I am not sure which would have been more damaging, but I did the drugs instead of heavy metal poisoning because it would be more fun and that option became available
I'd write a trip report but nobody is going to believe me. it will sound like I am making it up and if someone else copies it they might die.
I thought I succeeded at a suicide attempt I made like 2 years ago - that was weird and depressing.
I am not dying now, It's just what MXE does with 5-F-AKB48. I wish I would have got more MXE. MXE and 3-Meo-PCP are really good and I want to use them every day until I die. I wish I had 3-meo-pcp but only MXE
Add Info: Just smoked a bump of MXE. Smoking is best MOA IMHO.
Edit: Add Info: 3:17PM - My mom wanted me to watch this movie with her earlier in my trip. She knew I was tripping. This happened yesterday and the day before, I think. I knew what the movie was and I told her I thought it would make me kill people if I watched it. I saw it a long time ago and I just remembered the part about a tornado. I end up watching a little of it but I don't know that it is the movie she was asking me about watching. Later, before an out of body experience but as it started from MXE she asked if I wanted to watch it again I thought it would be a serial killer flick by the title.
I wondered why she wanted me to watch that when she knew I was tripping on multiple things but I figured it must be about a good serial killer who kills people who really deserve to die or a funny serial killer. Gonna smoke another hit of MXE - maybe I can finish:3:28 okay - I figured she knew what she was doing so I let her watch it with me. I thought I was all of the important characters in the movie and it was almost like a VR experience - My Identity was lost completely but I felt like I was living the lives in my TV. It turned out to not be about a serial killer. I guess she knew what she was doing. I looked to download more of it because there was no tornado in it and I somehow found Mr Bungle. I've been wanting to download his music for a long time and I was really wanting to listen to My Ass Is On Fire and he has demo albums that are pretty good. I downloaded that show for my mom too. Grizzly Adams. I think it is part of the tv show Bonanza because Adam and Ben are on both tv shows. About to smoke more MXE - Time=3:40PM
Edit: Now it is 5:13PM and My body is dissolving. I know I won't die this time. I found the keys and if I want to I can Inject like 2mg of 25c-nbome and 20mg 5-meo-mipt or other doses of other things but I will probably do the sane thing and tell the safekeeper. She lost the keys to the small safe so it is not locked and I think I know where the other keys are. I thought I raped my mind so bad that it would be forever but I was wrong. Now I am like a surreal painting as viewed by someone else
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![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
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