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Benzos How hard is your rebound benzo depression/anxiety? This sucks hard

eBagger

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2011
Messages
81
I'm 26 and i'm not a new drug user, but i'm only maybe 2 years into addiction thats semi-serious, as in I've never stolen or done any moral wrongs to feed my habits, but enough to stay broke and sometimes worry if I know i'm about to go without my chosen meds (suboxone/subutex, a benzo (etizolam), and normally a third consisting of weed).

Today my long await tiz shipment I've been getting monthly for the past 5-6 months is yet again not here, and I'm on my 2nd day using much less everything than normal. I tapered best I could but even 2 weeks deep in the taper I'm 1 in morn and 1 at night. I've cold turkey been without benzo 2 days, and I've been majorly depressed as I remember previous times I've been without.

Besides being just bummed the past couple of days today I woke to a heavy blanket like effect of depression that just made me feel like shit all over, including my stomach and chest. After seeing I was yet again left 24 hours without etizolam and instead got a letter saying all my income would be withheld because of child support. I switched jobs 2 months ago, and I've been letting them know whats up ever since, and even mailed off what they told me I owed. After quitting my new job for an even newer job with less hours, but higher hourly pay, and physically/mentally much more fulfilling. I'm helping people with special needs instead of lifting heavy ass boxes of wine and kegs for 12-16 hours a day. Either way after doing all I thought was necessary for the system to not fuck with me, I feel fucked with, and now after getting back from checking my tiz/mail I feel like my morning depression is so justified and just re-enforced.

Anyway yeah, I've stop posting threads on forums and stuff just because I feel so in my own bubble of misery/seclusion that I wont tell people I'm depressed so I don't have to hear the same old same old of what people do in their own lives to make themselves happy. I've never clicked/connected with that many people. While not having a shortage of friends growing up, now I am alone because while simultaneously I'm in love with the seclusion and lack of interaction I have to have people, its like I almost knowingly am giving myself mental problems that come with seclusion and drug use like benzos and opiates.

The weed I've smoked thus far has just made me feel worse, but when I'm sober I feel just as bad so I say I might as well. As long as I have bud around I'm going to talk myself into smoking it. I keep rambling too. Sorry
 
Man I w/d'd pretty much cold turkey from a huge Alpraz/temaz habit a couple years ago.

It was terrible...I got through it buy watching movies,talking with friends and staying couch ridden.The depression was just aweful,if I wasn't on opioids I'm not sure I'd have made it through.

You can try some valerian and that kind of stuff,some ppl say it helps,I personally found it to be worthless.
 
why do u order once a month? always keep a supply on hand in case a shipment gets lost or is late. Anyway, i ran into the same problem a few months ago because i accidentally blew through my supply in a few days instead of 2 months and had to go a week with drastically reduced doses. It's going to suck, i felt depersonalization and derealization really bad but it wasn't near as bad as a full blown benzo withdrawal at least. If you haven't been through one of those then it's just going to feel like you are crazy without all the nasty physical symptoms, by that i mean the extreme muscle pain and twitching. However each time i withdraw it starts out like a nasty flu with high fever, maybe that's just me but it's pretty awful still.

Try to get some diazepam or any benzo for now to hold you over, you can't cold turkey off this shit, it is dangerous.

sorry to hear things aren't going well, i know that hopeless feeling you get when you expect your shipment and need it that day and it just isn't there, it's terrible but you'll get it soon enough and next time make sure you have a stock piled up just in case this kind of thing happens again. From one etizolam user to another.

For me, depression and anxiety aren't bad but i do go fucking crazy each time i withdraw (like delusional), i do get a nasty panic attack that usually lasts the whole time too but it really could be worse compared to benzo withdrawals.
 
I feel like I am in either Benzo or Opiate W/d every day of my life. I have been 4-5 months clean from a very high benzo habit, and a 600mg/day Oxycodone habit back in 2006-2010. I went to a treatment centre.
Four months later, after being being clean for 4 months, on no meds, except for 100mg Trazodone at night for sleep, and 10mg of Paxil. AND My skin still felt like it was crawling sometimes, and I still felt yucky, and depressed. The amount of Benzodiazepines I was using previous to going in this treatment centre was insane though. I couldn't even tell you, because I had blackouts that would last 2 weeks or more where I didn't know what happened at all. I was using high amounts of Flurazepam, Bromazepam, Lorazepam, Alprazolam, Clonazepam & occasionally Diazepam. The last two years, I have been on Diazepam basically steady, on 30mg/dat of Diazepam. My doctor won't go any higher because I am already on the highest dosage of HydromorphContin (30mg) 3x/day. I have to make a daily/weekly planner on how I plan to taper, or if I plan to crossover to another narcotic such as oxycodone (the new generics here in Canada), or morphine (M-ESLON). I would never ask for OxyNEO, or those crappy OXY OP in the US. They are nothing but garbage. They don't even work for 12hr pain relief like Hydromorphone, or Morphine does.

Anyways, I am 26 also, and on the highest dosage of Lyrica as well (600mg/day) sometimes I take 900-1200mg/day but not very often, as I DO NOT want a Pregabalin dependence like that.
Same age as you, and I get really horrible rebound withdrawals, especially from the benzo's/Lyrica. But the opiates are a DAMN Pain in the ass to come off as well, especially stronger ones like Hydromorphone, Oxymorphone, and Fentanyl. I wish you luck my friend,
 
^after my extreme benzo use it took about 6 months for that skin crawling, disgusting feeling to go away. Fuck that was the worst time of my life.

Etizolam withdrawal doesn't last nearly as long, after about a week, things start to get better, IME at least. So don't be too scared off by the benzo horror stories but do be careful as it does affect the same part of the brain and you are still liable to seizures, delusions, muscle pain, all sorts of weird sensory issues and other fun things. Seriously get some benzos even if you have to go to ER and tell them you are a benzo addict.
 
Thanks for sharing guys, good posts.

Yeah I know not to go cold turkey, but just like Robot did, I have a hard time when I first get them not blowing through them insanely fast, and then leaving me with nothing but a drawn out taper to last until the next order. This time same thing happened but I caught it soon enough to slow down consumption to one in morning one at night, but day 2 coming off of even that for 2 weeks is like night and day.

I have like 50 clonidine put back too, think that would help at all? I'm low on everything but my bupe connects havent contacted me in weeks and i'm practically tapering on it as well.

I've never had a seizure but I have had extended twitching of the eyelids and shit after being off of etizolam. So far nothing dangerous except the depression and racing thoughts. I have a little alcohol but drinking normally makes me feel like shit so I avoid it a majority of the time. Weed makes me think more and makes me groggier but like I said I end up smoking if I have it.

Yeah skin crawling/temperature is the worst. My skin feels like it grabs the worst possible and least desirable part of the surrounding area around me and sucks it into my pours. It sucks for it to be hot as shit in the summer and say im going to quit in the winter knowing full well what you hate about the heat will turn around chill you to the bone in a few months and make you wish for warmth.

Since I started typing and got distracted I've already taken a .1mg clonidine. I feel a lil better, but a lil nauseous and woozy as well. Either way ugh
 
I feel like I am in either Benzo or Opiate W/d every day of my life. I have been 4-5 months clean from a very high benzo habit, and a 600mg/day Oxycodone habit back in 2006-2010. I went to a treatment centre.
Four months later, after being being clean for 4 months, on no meds, except for 100mg Trazodone at night for sleep, and 10mg of Paxil. AND My skin still felt like it was crawling sometimes, and I still felt yucky, and depressed. The amount of Benzodiazepines I was using previous to going in this treatment centre was insane though. I couldn't even tell you, because I had blackouts that would last 2 weeks or more where I didn't know what happened at all. I was using high amounts of Flurazepam, Bromazepam, Lorazepam, Alprazolam, Clonazepam & occasionally Diazepam. The last two years, I have been on Diazepam basically steady, on 30mg/dat of Diazepam. My doctor won't go any higher because I am already on the highest dosage of HydromorphContin (30mg) 3x/day. I have to make a daily/weekly planner on how I plan to taper, or if I plan to crossover to another narcotic such as oxycodone (the new generics here in Canada), or morphine (M-ESLON). I would never ask for OxyNEO, or those crappy OXY OP in the US. They are nothing but garbage. They don't even work for 12hr pain relief like Hydromorphone, or Morphine does.

Anyways, I am 26 also, and on the highest dosage of Lyrica as well (600mg/day) sometimes I take 900-1200mg/day but not very often, as I DO NOT want a Pregabalin dependence like that.
Same age as you, and I get really horrible rebound withdrawals, especially from the benzo's/Lyrica. But the opiates are a DAMN Pain in the ass to come off as well, especially stronger ones like Hydromorphone, Oxymorphone, and Fentanyl. I wish you luck my friend,

We should have the genric oxycontin by now no?I'm no longer active in the underground IV opioid scene so I'm a little behind on the times...

Is 3x30 mg HM Contin the max there? A close friend of mine gets 4x30 a day,but he was also on a huge dose of methadone previous to the HM

To the OP....yeah you should definitely try getting some benzos somewhere...Diaz/clonaz preferably.

I went to a detox unit in Winnipeg Manitoba one time for a pretty severe benzo habit (5-10 mg's of alprazolam 2 somtimes 3 times a day....or 150-300 mg's temazepam or any oter benzo in equipotent dosages)And the doctor there gave me diazepam....quite abit too like 50 mg's twice a day I think I'm not too sure though as I was in such an insane benzo fog....maybe you could get in a program like this,inpatient for a couple weeks and released with a taper script for diazepam?
 
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although i've never been a full-blown addict, powerlifting saved me from a would-be amphetamine and clonazepam addiction.

i've seen people in withdrawal, a friend of mine is getting off xanax bars cold turkey through running, although he's already had 2 seizures (he knows he can't taper off, what with pills laying around and all). proud of him though, he was truly making his life a complete wreck.

i wish you luck, and if you keep at it hard enough i'm sure you'll pull through.
 
I had many stays in the psych ward ranging from 1-3 weeks when trying to quit benzos. I am now prescribed them again as I'm just to bat shit crazy to live without them. However I went from 4mg of xanax xr + random klonopin and valium off the street...to taking .75mg of klonopin a day. So I did make a lot of progress but for me I guess I just need benzos.
 
although i've never been a full-blown addict, powerlifting saved me from a would-be amphetamine and clonazepam addiction.

i've seen people in withdrawal, a friend of mine is getting off xanax bars cold turkey through running, although he's already had 2 seizures (he knows he can't taper off, what with pills laying around and all). proud of him though, he was truly making his life a complete wreck.

i wish you luck, and if you keep at it hard enough i'm sure you'll pull through.

uh your friend is risking brain damage there. not something to take lightly, each seizure you have makes you more susceptible to ones in the future. Manning up and going cold turkey off benzos is the dumbest and most irresponsible thing you can do for a friend in supporting him. Fuck.
 
I had many stays in the psych ward ranging from 1-3 weeks when trying to quit benzos. I am now prescribed them again as I'm just to bat shit crazy to live without them. However I went from 4mg of xanax xr + random klonopin and valium off the street...to taking .75mg of klonopin a day. So I did make a lot of progress but for me I guess I just need benzos.

^^...excellent work! You are doing very well in your taper, if what I read is true (and you'd have no reason to lie to us about it). Congrats & keep up the good work! :)
 
although i've never been a full-blown addict, powerlifting saved me from a would-be amphetamine and clonazepam addiction.

i've seen people in withdrawal, a friend of mine is getting off xanax bars cold turkey through running, although he's already had 2 seizures (he knows he can't taper off, what with pills laying around and all). proud of him though, he was truly making his life a complete wreck.

i wish you luck, and if you keep at it hard enough i'm sure you'll pull through.

^^...as I' sure you and your friend know cold turkey off of a benzo habit is a horrible idea, ESPECIALLY with alprazolam...2 seizures already...yep, I believe it...s/he should seek help from an MD who knows about tapering, switch to a long-acting benzo (i.e. diazepam/clonazepam), and taper from there...either one of those seizures could have ended his life :/
 
I had many stays in the psych ward ranging from 1-3 weeks when trying to quit benzos. I am now prescribed them again as I'm just to bat shit crazy to live without them. However I went from 4mg of xanax xr + random klonopin and valium off the street...to taking .75mg of klonopin a day. So I did make a lot of progress but for me I guess I just need benzos.

^^...some people just need something to take the edge off, so you are making excellent progress in self-realization, too! Personally, I need them too, for PTSD from war...I've been on 10mg diazepam t.i.d. for almost 20 yrs now...so, now it just makes me feel normal.

To the OP, if you have to, go to the ER and tell them that you have a problem w/benzos, and are looking too taper off of them (preferably w/diazepam, as it has good muscle relaxing effects too. They kinda' have to treat you, as it can be a life-threatening condition (cold turkey benzo W/D). Just a thought...stay strong, and more importantly, BE SAFE! If you have to go to the ER then by God/ess, do it...trust me, they've seen worse, and will appreciate your honesty...
 
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