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How do you tell...

Tude

Tude

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 20, 2011
Messages
11,204
whether a guy is just really friendly, or he's into you?

I'm just curious about where the line is drawn. Thanks for any responses!
 
You could always straight up ask. lol probably not what you were looking for. Thats a very vauge question. Trust your instincts maybe? Most guys arent just overly friendly and such lol xP
 
Thanks! Yeah, I agree with you. Usually, I would ask, but it's a bit of a complicated situation. I work with him, and he's kinda my supervisor. At this point, I'm just curious, I don't want to pursue anything since we're really good friends anyway. I don't want to throw our friendship away when I ruin a relationship with him.
 
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Tude said:
Thanks! Yeah, I agree with you. Usually, I would ask, but it's a bit of a complicated situation. I work with him, and he's kinda my supervisor. At this point, I'm just curious, I don't want to pressure anything since we're really good friends anyway. I don't want to throw our friendship away when I ruin a relationship with him.
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ask and don't be a pussy! (oh, sorry, i see you're one indeed...)
why are you afraid not to throw off the friendship...you're afraid he's gonna fire you or what??
the world is full of "friends" or "potential friends", +/-1 makes no difference
the trick is to find a partner who really gets you off
 
I'm not afraid he'll fire me. Even if he wanted to, he can't, because he doesn't have the power to do so. Hence my saying he's kinda my supervisor. He tells me what to do and if I can go home at the end of the day, but he can't write me up or fire me. He's basically a supervisor-in-training. The reason I don't want to pursue anything is because I don't want his judgment to come into question, like "Oh, Tude got assigned an easy job today because she's fucking so-and-so." He's a good friend of mine, which is why I'd hate for that to happen to him.
 
If hes already a friend, dont fuck it up; ESPECIALLY sense hes your supervisor lol that can very easily go from good 2 bad 2 worse XP
 
Thanks, Argentina! Now back to my original question, where's the line between friendliness and having a crush for a guy?
 
I think the line is a choice. There are men at work with whom I flirt a lot. When I start noticing some of them giving EXTRA attention (prolonged eye contact being the main one), I need to back off because I am sending the wrong message.

In my job, even friends of the manager are questioned about preferential treatment. So you are already in, in this sense.

Perhaps ask him to grab some tea, coffee, or drink sometime to see what's there :) Most importantly, ask yourself if he is what you want!
 
Don't shit where you eat. Unless you've given some serious thought as to how you plan to deal with the fallout if things go badly. Your position sounds pretty high risk to me unless you can easily walk away from your job and find a new one if things turn sour.
 
If you don't want a relationship with the dude then why do you care if he likes you?

Your question is way too vague, not all guys are the same and express their interest in the same way.
 
Thanks, Cohesion. I just might ask him to hang out sometime, since we have a shared interest. It won't be awkward that way...we'll be hanging out as friends, but I'll be trying to read him lol. Wizekrak, you bring up a very important point. The good thing about my job is that I have the option to transfer to many different departments, even out-of-state. Pander Bear, lol! Purplefirefly, I'm just curious by nature. I kind of realize I'm grasping at straws by asking this question, but I was hoping there was something that would give him away lol.
 
Tude, touching. If a guy is really into you, they will touch you. I don't mean groping or anything sexual. It might be playful. It might be a hand on a shoulder, or it might be a hand behind the back when they open the door for you. I don't mean they do it once. I mean fairly often.

I'm speaking at a higher level than just flirting. They will flirt too and you can pretty much gauge it at work, because you are talking with that person a lot. Married, single..doesn't matter. They all do it the same way. The married men are more subtle, but touch + flirting is a sign that they are into you.
 
Thanks, Lysis. He's put his hand on my arm a few times...
 
Lysis said:
Tude, touching. If a guy is really into you, they will touch you. I don't mean groping or anything sexual. It might be playful. It might be a hand on a shoulder, or it might be a hand behind the back when they open the door for you. I don't mean they do it once. I mean fairly often.

I'm speaking at a higher level than just flirting. They will flirt too and you can pretty much gauge it at work, because you are talking with that person a lot. Married, single..doesn't matter. They all do it the same way. The married men are more subtle, but touch + flirting is a sign that they are into you.
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For me, when I'm interested in someone, I'm very playful, touching is indeed key. Of course nothing overtly sexual in the touching but something along the lines of what Lysis said. I'm known to be a playful person so tickling is not really out of the picture with me. Also obvious compliments and gentle teasing (compliment you, then tease you for blushing playfully). For me, I usually can get a vibe if a girl is digging me (NA's casanova here) so I can reasonably assume girls can tell if a guy is interested, though it might be hard to decipher romantic attraction from purely sexual attraction. For that I would say watch the guy's vocabulary, if he's saying "damn girl you look fine as hell" probably trying to get you in the sack, but if he says "Wow, *insert your name*, you look beautiful" and gives a compliment with some serious insight, then he may be romantically interested (be careful as some players are keen to this and will make you think they are romantically attracted, sad but true). The hanging out idea is great, as you can get to know him more personally and find out how he really is and be able to read him based on his reaction to you asking him to hangout. =) Best of luck to you.
 
Thanks, Serotonin. He's a really nice guy, and he's always complimenting me. I know he's not the kind of guy that relishes getting girls in bed with him. Thanks for the good luck wishes :)
 
I try to make eye contact with em every chance I get. And I agree on the touching and being playful, I go out of my way to pay more attention to them than the other people around. Thats just a few ways Ill try to let a girl know Im into her.
 
Every guy is different. But I find that staring at your tits, complimenting your clothes when they're not really into fashion, pretending to like the same music/things that you do just to talk to you (if you know this is what they are doing, of course), going over to your house a lot just to hang out and mostly talking with you (and not their best friend who is living there/whatever else) are some pretty good signs. Staring, eye contact.

All these signs come from a guy who recently confessed to me that he's had a serious crush on me ever since I dated his friend five years ago.
 
Tude said:
whether a guy is just really friendly, or he's into you?

I'm just curious about where the line is drawn. Thanks for any responses!
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There is no absolute way of telling this.

Some guys, like girls, are fucking assholes (much like myself). If you feel like they like you, they just might like you.

Touching someone and seeing how the react is a big give away imho.
 
Thanks, Indicameds and Trunkofmycar, I believe he's done all of those.

1394, I think you're right. I had a gut feeling he likes me and everyone's comments seem to confirm it.
 
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