i think i'm just a temporary visitor to this "scene" thing. Sure, it's a lot of fun, and i've met heaps and heaps of really cool people, but i still sorta know in the back of my mind that eventually i'll get over it and move on. I'm not sure where i'll be moving on
to, and i have no idea
when i'll be moving on, but i know it will happen eventually.
does this make me not a raver? i don't go out much, in fact i don't think i've ever gone out 2 nights in a row... and i don't use drugs much. i like going out, but it gets in the way of my heavy schedule (uni, work and sport). i'm not committed to PLUR, although i do find that i mostly act in a PLUR sorta way anyway, maybe more peace than respect and love tho
i don't own phat pants (tho i have a wonky wear shirt with silver stripes), i only wear a little bit of kandy jewellery (and only occasionally). i have been known to give out random stuff to random people just to make them smile, though. i guess i can act like a raver when i want to, but i spose it's like a disguise i sometimes put on before i go out, because it makes the night fun. It's like i can escape from my normal life (don't get me wrong, i LOVE my normal life!) and go crazy, and acting like a "raver" is part of the delicious self-deception...
but i'm still seeing myself as a visitor in the scene, because i'm sure i'll find something else to amuse me. until then, i'm having fun, and keeping the "raver" in a little box under my bed, so i can bring him out on special occasions
the real me is a lot more complex than a simple definition such as "raver" can encompass.
i'm happy with myself.