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How do you resolve unexpressible but powerful memories from trips?

tmdoca

tmdoca

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Joined
Oct 6, 2011
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69
Some of the strongest emotions I've felt have come from simply remembering the sensory circumstances of really important trips. For example, one time I was stuck in a thought loop for about 6hrs on lsd while listening to a song on repeat (what song it was isn't really important). But there are points when i listen the the song now(sober) where I can "feel" that thought loop, even thought I can't remember what the thoughts were. The emotion is very overwhelming.

Things like that are concerning me because I don't know what the emotions are tangibly in the real world. I mean, the feeling was really important at the time of the trip, but that was in that particular trip space. The rules of that trip space don't apply to the real world, yet i feel traces of an experience that was paradigm-shatteringly important in that other universe.

I find myself wanting to find a way discard it, because it is sometimes distressing and has no real value, but also understand it, because it feels so unique and important.

That trip was 3.5 years ago, and there are a few other similar relationships that have the same effect. I haven't used any drugs in a year and am not really looking to re-explore the psych scene.

I just feel like I'd be losing a part of myself or something if I ignored this phenomenon.
 
So are you saying attempting closure is futile when it comes to psychedelics?

Or that I'm just crazy or something...
 
i think i would just chalk it up to a weird drug experience and not try to read to much into the "meaning." bu that doesn't mean you have to discard it either.


i know the feeling though. when i broke through on salvia unexpectedly, i had a particularly unpleasant time, and years later the song can still bring back those hard-to-describe feelings.
 
I think it also depends on what you attach to the images or feelings. This reminded me of a bad trip I had once, one of the girls that was tripping with me smoked too much synthetic cannabis and kind of freaked out/went zombie. It freaked the shit outta me to see her face like that and burned an image that didn't go away for about a week. However, I'm more likely now to remember the super good trips from cues, I think my brain realizes that nothing but pure fear is a memory to store very very far away in a deep place.
 
porkstock said:
i think i would just chalk it up to a weird drug experience and not try to read to much into the "meaning." bu that doesn't mean you have to discard it either.

i know the feeling though. when i broke through on salvia unexpectedly, i had a particularly unpleasant time, and years later the song can still bring back those hard-to-describe feelings.
Click to expand...

Its weird, because that's how I try to handle things like that usually. I have a whole note on my phone i wrote while on 4-aco-dmt describing how all the "revelations" I was having were so amazing specifically because they were not applicable to reality as a sober person with an ego has to handle.

The thing is, in other circumstances where you remember something that happened to you, I feel like you can at least take ownership of that event. For me I feel as though, in a weird nostalgic way, I'm remembering some other aspect of another life, as tho it was a past life of mine or something.

Our whole life we rely heavily on instincts. And further, I think that the only things we can know for sure are things we can/have perceived. To me, it feels as if this "emotional instinct" shades how I perceive my particular memory of what went on. I'm not saying I believe I had another life or something, it's more like, I can watch a movie where I had another life. And that movie is this emotional instinct.

I know it's meaningless, but it's equal parts amazement and distress to let myself go there.
 
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