Of course it is, I was giving a one-dimensional reply to a one-dimensional response.
I don't need to read on here to know how badly meth can fuck your life up. I've got people around me who've seen the damage this shit causes to tell me that. And people I know who have tried to quit never, ever forget how good it was watching that smoke swirl around. And more than anything, I see the risks involved with trying to improve myself in any sense by using a drug, most of all meth. But now that I've crossed the threshold of using, and now that my friend who I see regularly is showing no sign of quitting, that doubt is always gonna be in my mind when I know he's using. I don't think I can control my usage. Hard drugs aren't designed to be controllable. That's one of the most devious parts about them, that they trick you like that by redesigning and warping your brain and making it a permanant bitch to function without them. The feeling isn't even that good when you push to the limits of tweaking.
I know I'm in a trap. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered writing this without a particular question. I only have one question, and that's a question none of you here will ever be able to tell me. All I want from this is some kind of reassurance from anyone who has any idea of what I'm going through with this drug situation. And I guess it helps just having a place to tell my story. It's sort of all around me, now that I've opened my eyes to it. I'm worried...