I read about people 'listening to their bodies' being 'over it' and eventually turning away from drugs for good. How do you know when your mind and body have had enough? How can you tell it's you and not just a bad pill or a bad environment?
I ask because I think I've reached that point in my life and I feel ready to abandon the scene. But I need to compare/confirm my experiences with others. I need to know I'm not alone.
For the last 4 or 5 months, every e experience I've had has been a disappointing one. Instead of getting 'lost', instead of succumbing to its affects, I become acutely aware of everything, my surrounds, the words that come out of my mouth, and the euphoria that overwhelmed me three years ago, has become nothing more than a head-spin. The peak is like a bad ride I can't wait to get off. I don't care to talk or listen to anyone, much less kiss and cuddle. I don't care for the music and most of the time I can't be bothered getting off my arse except to go the toilet - and that in itself is an inconvenience.
My come-downs set-in early, before closing time. As soon as the peak is over, I'm overwhelmed with sleep, self-frustration and disappointment. The next day I experience painful colonic spasms, what feels like trapped wind. As well as oedema, headache and nausea.
I use to anticipate a night out on the town, popping a pill and dancing 'till dawn. These days, a night in with a good movie, some hot chocolate and a hot shower sound more enticing. I'm tired of feeling like shit and getting over feeling like shit. I get a bigger rush when I go for a brisk walk than I do from pilling.
Don't get me wrong, I look around when I'm clubbing and I see people going off the way I use to and I wish to God I could feel that way again. But somehow I don't think I ever will.
Thanks for your patience.
I ask because I think I've reached that point in my life and I feel ready to abandon the scene. But I need to compare/confirm my experiences with others. I need to know I'm not alone.
For the last 4 or 5 months, every e experience I've had has been a disappointing one. Instead of getting 'lost', instead of succumbing to its affects, I become acutely aware of everything, my surrounds, the words that come out of my mouth, and the euphoria that overwhelmed me three years ago, has become nothing more than a head-spin. The peak is like a bad ride I can't wait to get off. I don't care to talk or listen to anyone, much less kiss and cuddle. I don't care for the music and most of the time I can't be bothered getting off my arse except to go the toilet - and that in itself is an inconvenience.
My come-downs set-in early, before closing time. As soon as the peak is over, I'm overwhelmed with sleep, self-frustration and disappointment. The next day I experience painful colonic spasms, what feels like trapped wind. As well as oedema, headache and nausea.
I use to anticipate a night out on the town, popping a pill and dancing 'till dawn. These days, a night in with a good movie, some hot chocolate and a hot shower sound more enticing. I'm tired of feeling like shit and getting over feeling like shit. I get a bigger rush when I go for a brisk walk than I do from pilling.
Don't get me wrong, I look around when I'm clubbing and I see people going off the way I use to and I wish to God I could feel that way again. But somehow I don't think I ever will.
Thanks for your patience.