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How do you know if you have a Superiority complex?

Hahaha - fair point - however I may not have made my first point clearly - I dont deny that it may be a problem, I dont deny that it can be wrong - so I was wrong to say that it wasnt in my last post, because look here - I am getting myself into a fine scrape with this thread - but what I am saying (now) is - that I am not quite sure how to stop it.
 
I think many people have gone through this difficult time in their lives. Parents and the education system have taken self-esteem way to seriously, and in doing so, have convinced children that they are special and unique. A certain percentage of children are going to develop a personality which embraces that concept of "specialness" as something fundamental to their being. Those children end up as young adults and begin encountering other people who are just as "smart and unique" as they perceive themselves to be. You have to remember that everyone views things differently. Everyone has a slightly different value system, political orientation, life philosophy, etc. And pretty much everyone has thought out their own life philosophy just as much as you have. Coming to this realization is key.
 
But then if you have this understanding and realisation, then why cant I be as self assured as I like? Everybody has their own value systems etc - and this is mine. Why do I have to think of myself as another brick in the wall? Everybody IS special and unique - everybody has different personalities, thoughts beliefs and so we are all very very different - why is that kind of individuality to be stopped? Because what I am understanding from your words is that people shouldnt place such emphasis upon self esteem - but there are so many who have no self respect, who do not like themselves - look at many of the people on bluelight.

So how can you get the right balance? Between little or no self esteem, and too much/ I am sorry, but I dont think I am arrogant - not outwardly so, though I dont deny arrogant thoughts at times, but find me someone who never ever has one of those?
I dont thikn self esteem is taken seriously enough - I think society and culture has helped to erode esteem - in the magazines you read, in the clothes you wear, in the various unwritten rules about what is expected of a proper human being - and if you are outside of those lines, then you are an outsider - and many people can feel less of themselves because of that. Well I say it's not on. i thnk there is nothing wrong with blowing your own trumpet every once in a while because there are plenty of people out there (as we have seen) that think you are a fool and will go out of their way to let you know it - so why is it wrong to think well of yourself?
 
and it is not all about making yourself feel good - because by taking that good feeling and giving it to others - by not feeling like a nobody and hiding your face all the time - by standing tall and smiling at everyone, doing what you can to help or make other people smile and stand tall - well I am sorry but that's where I focus my 'narcissism' - I, for one, dont use this esteem to make myself feel cooler than you - I dont think everyone should run around after me - in actual fact, I feel good so I want others to feel good and that makes me feel gooder, so I make others feel even gooder and so it goes on, and so I have now decided that it is not a problem, and yet obviously I am not perfect and need to maybe shave off some of the arrogance that goes with it - that is fair - but um. right.

what a waste of a thread! haha - sorry!
 
Pomplemous
If you did have a superiority complex, you wouldn't question it.

But there's no real need to question it, unless something is wrong and you and/or those around you are unhappy.

Don't worry.

l2r
 
Pomplemous said:
what's an MC?
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master of ceremony....in 99% of the cases they r male macho's , they sometimes accompany the DJ... uknow what a DJ is? or do i need to explain that as wel?
 
no no, I knew about DJ's and know about MC's in connection with DJ's - but didnt know if that's what you meant. and I am going to take that last remark as the sweet offer of help that it had better be.
 
because by taking that good feeling and giving it to others - by not feeling like a nobody and hiding your face all the time - by standing tall and smiling at everyone, doing what you can to help or make other people smile and stand tall - well I am sorry but that's where I focus my 'narcissism'
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Well know I'm just being contrary :) But that is a classic narcissist thing to say. You are this knight in shining armour who's mission is to increase everyone else's comfort and happiness? No you aren't! It's selfish and you know it!
 
Is it? Why is that if everyone else is benefitting from it? There are too many people who hide their faces and stare at their feet when they walk - keep themselves to themselves - so to smile at folk cant be a bad thing if it makes them smile to others in return? Surely!

BUT on the other hand - I stand by what I just wrote, but I also agree as well in your saying that I see myself as some kind of knight to increase everyone's happiness - you are right - that is my point, but you have put it nicely for me, in a sense I do and I think that is thing I have come to recognise in me and so this is what I want to know if it is truly wrong, how and why, and if so, how to change it. Someitmes it takes other people to be able to see what is wrong in you and so here I am - what should my mind-set be? if it is not to try to make myself and others happy?
I am not Father Christmas or some Mother Teresa - I am just a girl, so tell me.
 
I betcha people on the streets wonder why I stare around at them and smile and the like. What does it matter to them? When I am looking around, I am looking around in my reality, and am enjoying MY reality. I'm glad to see others catching on.
 
Pomplemous said:
no no, I knew about DJ's and know about MC's in connection with DJ's - but didnt know if that's what you meant. and I am going to take that last remark as the sweet offer of help that it had better be.
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;) there r other, more practical ways to find out, i m sure about that ...
 
i definitely don't have a superiority complex. i don't consider myself better, more this or more that

but i do believe that my ideas are "right"... or else i wouldn't follow them
if proven wrong, i'll be glad to be corrected.
but usually, i consider that my arguments hold on

it pisses me off a bit when people call it a superiority complex for someone to believe in his ideas.
 
Is it? Why is that if everyone else is benefitting from it? There are too many people who hide their faces and stare at their feet when they walk - keep themselves to themselves - so to smile at folk cant be a bad thing if it makes them smile to others in return? Surely!
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I have a lot of friends who do these things, but I still like them and enjoy being friends with them. Everyone has insecurities about *something,* be it their appearance, personality, lack of ability, etc. Our mission in life is not to judge others, but to understand them.

in a sense I do and I think that is thing I have come to recognise in me and so this is what I want to know if it is truly wrong, how and why, and if so, how to change it. Someitmes it takes other people to be able to see what is wrong in you and so here I am - what should my mind-set be?
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It's great to see someone with a positive attitude around here. You have already realized one of the key things: You don't have to justify yourself (as if people were judging you). As I said before, our mission is not to judge but to understand. Thus, I think you are taking a step in the right direction by helping us to understand what the problem is.

So what do you think your mind-set should be? I vote for understanding others, helping them to understand you. Not judging others, not judging yourself (for no good reason that is).
 
vegan said:
i definitely don't have a superiority complex. i don't consider myself better, more this or more that

but i do believe that my ideas are "right"... or else i wouldn't follow them
if proven wrong, i'll be glad to be corrected.
but usually, i consider that my arguments hold on

it pisses me off a bit when people call it a superiority complex for someone to believe in his ideas.
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THAT is what we are asking - IS IT a superiority complex?

The more I read the more I am happy being as I am and glad I am not a cynic like others.
 
It isn't cynical to deny the application of the term 'superiority Complex' to someone's *innate* trust in their own reasoning. That isn't what a superiority complex is.
A superiority complex is Narcissim.
"glad I am not a cynic like the others" = "I'm special"
 
protovack said:
So what do you think your mind-set should be? I vote for understanding others, helping them to understand you. Not judging others, not judging yourself (for no good reason that is).
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Well said! :D
 
protovack said:
It isn't cynical to deny the application of the term 'superiority Complex' to someone's *innate* trust in their own reasoning. That isn't what a superiority complex is.
A superiority complex is Narcissim.
"glad I am not a cynic like the others" = "I'm special"
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what!?!?!

I am glad i am not a cynic like others states that I am happy that I am not ruled by cynical thoughts, which frankly I consider to be unhealthy - or a hindrance at least to the running of a happy mind. Yes I am special - so are you and so is the guy above, and so is your neighbour - everyone is. Why shouldnt we be?

No one is saying I am more special than you or anyone else.

Is it? Is a superiority complex the same as narcissism? I am asking - because surely you can have one without the other - or can you? Interested to know.

So may I ask then - if I am managing to get people's backs up with this line of arguement - I am curious to know where you people feel you fit in - do you not think you are special? Do you not have optimistic thoughts? Do you feel like a worthless person? Or can we say that it's realism?

OR can it be covered by the term - arrogance? or conceit? Is superiority complex or narcissism too strong a word?

Tell me what traits you would expect from a person with a superiority complex? Do they think they are God? Do they always have to be right because they genuinely believe that there is no other way ? Do they think of themselves only all the time?

How about a narcissist? Are they vain? DO they love the sound of their own voice? Do they always have to be centre of attention? Do they always believe they are right?
 
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