How do You Handle Your Anxiety in Early Recovery

[copperdome]

I have heard something called "natural calm" can help. It is available at Walmart. I struggle with anxiety as well. Try reading. I am currently reading a book called "The Anxiety Book"

 

[manofadude]

I'll have to go to the bookstore

 

[the last dose]

manofadude, I use 5HTP over the counter it works to keep me calmer. I was real emotional during wds crying over nothing i hated it. Then as the weeks past i found myself getting more and more angry over everything. I was driving everybody nuts in my house then i realized it was because i was seeing everything clearer after wds things i would have not noticed before wd or didnt get mad over now everything pissed me off. Get some 5HTP and calm down i take deep breathes i dont know if you have bluetooth headphones get some i have mine on all the time its a great distraction music. good luck

 

[Jabberwocky]

I have a bottle or two of hydroxyzine from when I was 16 but I don't know how good of an idea it would be to take it and i as well know it takes 2 weeks to build up in your bloodstream and work

Generally speaking it should have a more or less immediate effect. However, it is basically diphenhydramine (Benedryl)'s bigger brother. Antihistamines never did much of anything for my anxiety, particularly in panic mode, and the large doses that were required to really get any useful effect out of were not worth the significant side effect that came with them.

Is there any way you can see a GP or psychiatrist? cashmuuny's suggestion of Prozac is actually not a bad one at all. Many if not the vast majority of people in early recovery, particularly from opioids, benefit from some kind of antidepressant - particularly when they also struggle with depression and/or anxiety as you seem to. I found Buproprion to be very helpful for the first few years myself, I know others who have done very well on Lexapro as well as others. Now, I have a bit of PTSD, but the one I've found the most helpful is the super sedating one's you take at night - in my case trazadone. I feel like that single med has done more for my depression and anxiety than any other (non-opioid that is ). It's the only thing I now, when I need it, other than melatonin.

But the point is get yourself to a doctor. No sense in suffering needlessly when there are at least semi-effective alternatives out there.

 

[TripMcnealy]

A lot of good advice here. You have to remember, recovery requires a multifaceted approach because your body and mind are healing. It's always much more difficult when you have an underlying condition like G.A.D., but the more approaches you have, the easier it is (Exercise, supplements, therapy, SSRI's)

You're going to have to be proactive and work at it. It's tough, but you will do it and become a much stronger and happier person in the end. I was a complete trainwreck and didnt think I would ever function normally again. I'm still in early recovery and at a certain point you begin to see astounding results each day.

Also I forgot to tell you about melatonin. It works really well for anxiety and sleep. Super cheap, they're available in any CVS or pharmacy (buy the 5 or 10mg bottles. They're the same price as the .5 and 1 mg ones).

 

[manofadude]

I don't have a problem sleeping at all. All my problems are mental at this point. My co worker just told me he was taking Xanax for 2 years about as long as me and didn't have 'much' of a probl m getting off it meanwhile everyone at work thinks I'm literally slow. I'm going to a psych but it's a long wait. I think I'm going to get a cat scan to because perm dmg has been a constant worry of mine. Something is just off. And I really hope there is a medicin they can give me That'll get these sick thoughts out of my head. Can't believe it's been almost 4 months. Seriously feel like I haven't gotten better since month 1????

 

[TripMcnealy]

Not diagnosing or anything but it does sound like there is an underlying mental health issue that the alprazolam was masking. I mean, there was a reason that xanax was drug of choice right? It sounds like it's the inner turmoil that is causing all of your issues right now because the PAWS should, at the very least, be almost gone.
Intrusive thoughts and GAD are something I experienced for a long time. I used to think of the worst things in the fucking world (embarrassed to even say) but I never considered acting on them. It's the fear of losing control of yourself that generates these thoughts in over active minds, and having these horrible thoughts causes tremendous anxiety.

But the fact that you're not acting on them and are aware of how awful they are, is a good thing. It means you're not pyschotic. Definitely get in and see your psych. You may need to be on meds for a little bit to ease you back into a normal mind state. There are other benzos out there that are easier to manage, like colonazepam, but only you can know if therapeutic use is possible. In the meantime, try some of the things previously suggested and you will see improvement.
Benzo wd is fucking awful, and anxiety is paralyzing at best. Not to sound corny, but it is a battle and you have to fight it. I know how terrifying it can be, but you can do it one step at a time.

 

[manofadude]

I never had a problem before it all started when I got off the xans and right after I took this fake lean a friends friend provided. It was an orange liquid mixed with a purple one. Not my best choice taking it...everything seems to go along with wds except that I literally just don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I'm in another persons body or something. I'm not seeing a psych for while so that sucks but I think I'll definitely get a cat scan so I can get down to the bottom of it it's just me VERY slowly healing or if something is wrong up there in my noggin. Because I can not go through all my life with this mysterious foggy feeling

I'd like to add before I took this fake lean concoction I was 4 days into cold turkey and when I woke up from what felt like a horrible trip from whatever I drank all my mental problems kinda basically hit like a semi truck. It's like all my wd started after I drank whatever I drank. I mean obviously for the first 1-3 days I had palm sweats and the urge to take some kpins and what not but not any bad mental problems like to this day

But then again I did always look at things in a different perspective when I was younger and shit. Maybe it's just being intensified now and I keep over worrying making anything and everything worse. Endless conclusions

After someone reads all the nonsense I posted lmk if what I'm currently thinking is a good idea. I'm think about buying some Xanax to see if I can stabilize myself. I just don't think quitting is working for me

 

[Jabberwocky]

I really feel that, at worst, whatever you took (the unknown substance/so-called lean) is at worst exacerbating the benzo withdrawal that was probably just about to kick in, perhaps potentiating the acute withdrawal. Taking into consideration for your affinity for gabaergic anxiolytics, it is highly likely there was some kind of mental health issue you were self medication (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this - it is precisely why so many of us turn to substance use). But that issue aside, the symptoms you are describing sound like classic benzo withdrawal issues.

How recently did you take the "lean" after you stopped taking benzos?

 

[manofadude]

I took the lean like 4 days after I stopped taking benzos

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I don't do well with anxiety, even when I wasn't in recovery. I try to distance myself from things, try not to think about them for a while.

 

[Thejackal5654]

Depends I guess... Anxiety comes in different forms from my experience... GAD early recovery type shit I try to breath deep, eat right, take a walk, exercise.... Anything but sitting around and thinking too much.. I read a lot and have a great admiration for giants of history. People who repeatedly displayed such incredible will power and iron self control that you can't help but admire them and when in a bind I'll remember a certain anecdote and ask myself "What would L'Empereur do?" Or "Did Caeser falter at Alesia?", etc, etc... I find it both depressing and inspiring reading about such incredible people but after growing up in such a morally and spiritually bereft age I find having good role models to be indispensable. I only wish I'd of found them earlier and not of grown up worshiping weak ass rock stars and junkies. You've got to find something, anything non destructive (or at the best least destructive) that works for you.

 

[the last dose]

WOW man i thought i was daring in my younger days, the unknown substance was a sketchy chance. I take a xan every now and then for anxiety attacks i havent gotten any in a couple months, but i have been using xans couple times a week now for insomnia from PAWS. Xans are short acting so relief of any kind is usually a couple hours. I agree with alot above exercise, and lots of distractions music etc, idle time can be bad i find. Ive found lyrica calms me along with 5HTP more than short acting xans do especially with sleep i get more. Xans are more for anxiety attacks than daily depression and anger. hang in there manofadude

 

[the last dose]

Generally speaking it should have a more or less immediate effect. However, it is basically diphenhydramine (Benedryl)'s bigger brother. Antihistamines never did much of anything for my anxiety, particularly in panic mode, and the large doses that were required to really get any useful effect out of were not worth the significant side effect that came with them.

Is there any way you can see a GP or psychiatrist? cashmuuny's suggestion of Prozac is actually not a bad one at all. Many if not the vast majority of people in early recovery, particularly from opioids, benefit from some kind of antidepressant - particularly when they also struggle with depression and/or anxiety as you seem to. I found Buproprion to be very helpful for the first few years myself, I know others who have done very well on Lexapro as well as others. Now, I have a bit of PTSD, but the one I've found the most helpful is the super sedating one's you take at night - in my case trazadone. I feel like that single med has done more for my depression and anxiety than any other (non-opioid that is ). It's the only thing I now, when I need it, other than melatonin.

But the point is get yourself to a doctor. No sense in suffering needlessly when there are at least semi-effective alternatives out there.

TPD did you have any issues with trazadone at first, because a month after wds i went to my doc for insomnia i was hoping for ativan or valium something long acting he prescibed me trazadone 150mgs. I took one the first night and had the worse fucking nightmare in my whole life it was so clear and vivid i remember everything was scary as hell, when i woke i was shaking i never took another.

 

[manofadude]

I fricken hate those kind of dreams, I feel you bro. Thanks for the kind words though. Honestly at this point if I can't get to my psychiatrist soon I'm thinking of just getting back on benzos. But idk if it'll even help because I feel so hopeless about anything being able to fix this way I've been feeling and because I cold turkeyed off them 3 months ago. I just know I'm missing out on so much in life right now. I need to get into college which is the most important factor. And I need to get out more, which I try but I wanna do it successfully not sitting around with friends having myself not talking for an hour or two looking like a freak. My best friend just went to college awhile ago and I wanna go see him but can't work up the confidence. I just hope benzos might help again in a controlled use. Just wish I could get my hands on anything but Xanax

 

[Jabberwocky]

TPD did you have any issues with trazadone at first, because a month after wds i went to my doc for insomnia i was hoping for ativan or valium something long acting he prescibed me trazadone 150mgs. I took one the first night and had the worse fucking nightmare in my whole life it was so clear and vivid i remember everything was scary as hell, when i woke i was shaking i never took another.

Well, I started taking trazadone around the age of 15 for insomnia. Didn't really use it that often, even just 25mg would make me feel totally numbed out and zombie like just before I would fall asleep. I didn't experience any vivid dreams from it until much, much later, like a decade plus years later. I had been using opioids for basically 8 years by then, among many, many other substances, plus my brain was finally starting to really finish maturing, so a lot of changed had happened neurologically.

I didn't really start taking it on a daily basis though until I got on methadone, around 27-28. On its own it didn't really lead to too much in the way of vivid dreams, but something about combining it with melatonin, which worked really well as a sleep aid combo for me, made my dreams much more vivid and memorable. Very intense. Even when I had "bad" or perhaps more accurately "scary" dreams, they were so vivid it was like a novelty.

I think a big part of why they had become so vivid was also because I stopped using pretty much all other substance by that point, other than my methadone. Whenever I used cannabis or benzodiazepines I would never be able to remember my dreams, and pretty much never had vivid dreams after using that kind of thing. And the difference between using lots of such substances heavily for years and then all of a sudden not made it seems like my dreams were coming back with a vengeance, when in fact I think I was just able to remember them again.

After getting off methadone and not using much in the way of anything else other than occasional entheogens (and a short binge on dissociatives ), my dreams have really come back with a vengeance. It does seem like the trazadone potentiates their sharpness, as I now, for the first time, take it and end up having vivid dreams. Normally melatonin seems to have been what potentiated their vividness, but now trazadone also does so when I take it by itself, though not as much as the trazadone melatonin combo.

But is that the trazadone or the fact my body is no longer stewed in various substance? I tend to think it has more to do with the latter. But trazadone does seem to make them a bit more intense. Most of my dreams are I guess what you'd call "bad" dreams. They are intense, often scary as hell, and it isn't abnormal for me to wake up with a start from them. That said, however, the fact I'm having such intensely vivid dreams, almost incredibly so, is just too interesting for me not to enjoy them. I have found that scary, when in this context, can actually be so interesting that it's kind fun. I get quite the kick at them at their vividest, and that generally tends to be when they are the most frightening.

 

[EnlightenedOne1]

Exercise (intense weight training), dry saunas, steamrooms with aromatherapy, hydration, and frequent cryotherapy sessions (freeze my entire body to -260) are the ONLY things that provide me with a catharsis, mindset shift, and a high better than any drug.

 

[manofadude]

That seems like a cold temp for your whole body, but I bet it's relaxing in some sort of way haha. Unfortunately for me I'm lighting up a cigarette in the same old spot, thinking the same old thoughts

 

[manofadude]

Wondering to anybody with prior experience on this. If I take a klonopin, will it make all the bad things in my head go away. This tripping feeling, all the intrusive thoughts, all this terrible crazy stuff?

 

[the last dose]

Well, I started taking trazadone around the age of 15 for insomnia. Didn't really use it that often, even just 25mg would make me feel totally numbed out and zombie like just before I would fall asleep. I didn't experience any vivid dreams from it until much, much later, like a decade plus years later. I had been using opioids for basically 8 years by then, among many, many other substances, plus my brain was finally starting to really finish maturing, so a lot of changed had happened neurologically.

I didn't really start taking it on a daily basis though until I got on methadone, around 27-28. On its own it didn't really lead to too much in the way of vivid dreams, but something about combining it with melatonin, which worked really well as a sleep aid combo for me, made my dreams much more vivid and memorable. Very intense. Even when I had "bad" or perhaps more accurately "scary" dreams, they were so vivid it was like a novelty.

I think a big part of why they had become so vivid was also because I stopped using pretty much all other substance by that point, other than my methadone. Whenever I used cannabis or benzodiazepines I would never be able to remember my dreams, and pretty much never had vivid dreams after using that kind of thing. And the difference between using lots of such substances heavily for years and then all of a sudden not made it seems like my dreams were coming back with a vengeance, when in fact I think I was just able to remember them again.

After getting off methadone and not using much in the way of anything else other than occasional entheogens (and a short binge on dissociatives ), my dreams have really come back with a vengeance. It does seem like the trazadone potentiates their sharpness, as I now, for the first time, take it and end up having vivid dreams. Normally melatonin seems to have been what potentiated their vividness, but now trazadone also does so when I take it by itself, though not as much as the trazadone melatonin combo.

But is that the trazadone or the fact my body is no longer stewed in various substance? I tend to think it has more to do with the latter. But trazadone does seem to make them a bit more intense. Most of my dreams are I guess what you'd call "bad" dreams. They are intense, often scary as hell, and it isn't abnormal for me to wake up with a start from them. That said, however, the fact I'm having such intensely vivid dreams, almost incredibly so, is just too interesting for me not to enjoy them. I have found that scary, when in this context, can actually be so interesting that it's kind fun. I get quite the kick at them at their vividest, and that generally tends to be when they are the most frightening.

Actually i did take melatonin with it i was taking melatonin every nite then i dont anymore cause i dont think it does anything for me. I went over 20 years on ops and had almost no dreams or none i could remember much at best maybe one little part of a dream. When i took 150mgs of trazodone the nitemare was so clear so vivid and trust me if it was something i could have worked with i would have loved it you know what i mean, but this was a very smart evil nitemare combining all of my latest problems and hells no way was this ending good and it didnt!. Im older than you and ive had lots of different substances in my body over the years and really i cant remember ever remembering a full nitemare in detail and when i did get some nitemares over the years i would smoke weed before sleeping and get none. thank tpd cool hearing your traz experiences