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How do you feel when you are not on drugs?

Saucy

Saucy

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 20, 2009
Messages
324
I'm interested in hearing how other regular drug users (but not addicts in the traditional sense) like myself feel when they're not on drugs? Do you feel that your enjoyment of the sober life been dulled by your drug use? Are you even happy when you're not on drugs?

Lately, I've been feeling somewhat miserable when I don't have any chems flowing through my system. Its like a dull anxiety that makes it difficult to focus and be productive, and makes enjoying anything from music to sex considerably more difficult. As soon as I take my substances of choice, however, I perk up and feel productive, social, and happy. I feel like myself.

My daily baseline combination recently has been repeated doses of Gabapentin and Piracetam, which blend better than one would expect. While on my daily drugs, I feel totally fine in just about whatever situation the day has in store for me, and this particular combo also sets up a nice baseline for opiates, stimulants, or weed if I'm looking to go out or just to get high. I am also a pretty dedicated psychonaught and trip 2-4 times per month, and I generally feel fine while sober for a few days after each trip. I don't feel the anxiety/depression at all for abt a week after K-holing, but I don't do that often because of how high my dissociative tolerance is getting.

Anyways, I want to hear other people's thoughts on this topic. Are feelings of mild to moderate anxiety or unhappiness when not taking drugs a common result of regular drug use? Am I developing a psychological or physical addiction that causes minor withdrawal when not taking my regular substances? Thanks in advance for your responses.

-Saucy
 
I often feel anxious when I'm not on drugs, but it is not the result of me taking drugs, I was anxious before I started. Now, I am able to feel happy when not on drugs, if I'm having a good moment with people or if I'm just doing something that I enjoy at least as much as I enjoy drugs, like travelling or making love...

I don't miss drugs a single second when I'm doing something I really love, but when I'm not travelling, having sex or taking pictures, I have to admit I'm always up for some...

When I'm not on drugs, I feel... like myself... without drug. That means, myself with all that goes along, either positive or negative.
 
When I'm not on my usual Rx'd drugs (Alprazolam, Bupropion and Methadone) I feel anxious, nervous and my attention span (or ability to concentrate on a task) is very low. I never liked how I felt when on nothing.
 
Saucy said:
Lately, I've been feeling somewhat miserable when I don't have any chems flowing through my system. Its like a dull anxiety that makes it difficult to focus and be productive, and makes enjoying anything from music to sex considerably more difficult. As soon as I take my substances of choice, however, I perk up and feel productive, social, and happy. I feel like myself.
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sounds like a mental addiction to me...

or the begining of a new fellow bluelight addict

u should enjoy being sober, ull regret it one day...once anyone cleans up it takes a lil while to get back to normal and get that old swag back.

and if ur taking opiates a lot, id be carefull, thats the number one drug people think they arent addicted to when they are...and once they wise up, its too late cuz most people dont get withdrawls once and quite...or its a secret and no1 can help u
 
kunmo said:
AHHH post 333!!!
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just wait for 666!





with enough time sober, I begin to feel the full spectrum and force of human emotions again, which can be both shockingly beautiful and overwhelmingly painful
 
I truly think sobriety fucking sucks. The only thing that would make sobriety better is having a lot of money.
 
agitated. anxious. confused. uncomfortable. restless. alone. desperate. bored. fuck. anything that is bad.

so to sum it up, i feel too much when sober.
 
I feel like a human while sober. That isn't to say that I feel, statically, 'good' or 'bad.'. Just, human.


~Vaya
 
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PillPoppingAnimal said:
and if ur taking opiates a lot, id be carefull, thats the number one drug people think they arent addicted to when they are...and once they wise up, its too late cuz most people dont get withdrawls once and quite...or its a secret and no1 can help u
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I take opiates about twice a week, and in relatively low dosages; i.e. 120-240mg codeine, 25-40mg hydrocodone with my Gabas usually. And I am pretty good about taking at least one week per month of abstinence from anything other than my baseline substances.

Does this sound like the start of addiction? I wouldn't be surprised if it does, but the truth is, I love this lifestyle. Having drugs on hand for just about any occasion is nice, and tripping regularly is an extremely enjoyable and positive force in my life.
 
i know just what you mean, the feeling of having a variety of drugs on hand is great. life becomes a fabulous dream. for me it seems i have more control of where my life is going. finally i have the reins in my hands. total delusion i know but normally my self-doubt is overpowering. i realize it's self-medicating and i wonder what the hell i'm doing at times. i honestly don't know how people do life without popping pills.
 
Really good, like the life should be. Stop thinking that being high is better than being sober, it's just different.
 
If at work - bored as hell. The day drags and drags and drags.
If at university, fine. Surrounded by friends and chatting, I don't even think about drugs. The problem is they aren't really "real" friends. As in I rarely see them outisde of university, I just hang around with them at university. I'm getting a bit better though at accepting their invites out and generally have a good time when I do. So long as I can control myself from not nervously bingeing on alcohol and saying inappropriate things.
Days off university though, or weekends. Ugh! When extremely bored I eat junk food, cheese is good, and chocolate and caffeinated drinks. Also compulsively masturbating... ya.
I think I need a hobby.
 
man id feel so much better without them, used to be like they were gold, now its like... ugh, another beer, another bowl etc, its like its not even appealing anymore.
 
I feel uneasy when I'm sober, only just come of h though so it's gonna take a bit of time to adjust
 
Acidtek said:
I feel uneasy when I'm sober, only just come of h though so it's gonna take a bit of time to adjust
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Coming off opiates can be rough, depending on your dosage and length of time using. Like someone else mentioned it is the number one drug that people think they got a handle on, but suddenly running out and going through the withdrawals. It is such a lonely experience because this is something you keep to yourself mostly, unless you have a few friends that are aware of your drug use. I am fortunate that one of my gf helped me in between doctor visits (he won't see me with no cash of course) Otherwise, with this dependence and emotional addiction I don't know how I would get through. I feel panic when I realise that I don't have enough till next doctor appt. and begin scrambling. I got myself down to 2 hydro 10/325 a day and needed to start breaking them in half. It's not getting stoned at all, just keeping myself from getting ill. ~theresa
 
ive been on off for quite a few years on lots of differnt things, all changed after doing huge amounts of methedrone non stop for about a year, my head a bit messed up, has got better doing drugs less, but feels like most of it will never go away which ive got a feeling that it probably won't. I get a lot of bad days but also really good days. I thought it was just me but bluelight cleared that one up. Its just a cycle isn't it really there you go.
 
T. Calderone said:
Coming off opiates can be rough, depending on your dosage and length of time using. Like someone else mentioned it is the number one drug that people think they got a handle on, but suddenly running out and going through the withdrawals. It is such a lonely experience because this is something you keep to yourself mostly, unless you have a few friends that are aware of your drug use. I am fortunate that one of my gf helped me in between doctor visits (he won't see me with no cash of course) Otherwise, with this dependence and emotional addiction I don't know how I would get through. I feel panic when I realise that I don't have enough till next doctor appt. and begin scrambling. I got myself down to 2 hydro 10/325 a day and needed to start breaking them in half. It's not getting stoned at all, just keeping myself from getting ill. ~theresa
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I can relate to the not getting stoned anymore, in my last year on h the only positive effect I got was not being Ill, and that was only when I could afford to be well, definately a sad and lonely lifestyle
 
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