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How do you deal with intrusive thoughts?

W

washingtonbound

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Aug 19, 2013
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572
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I have been struggling for most my life to be “in control” of my mind. I deal with something similar to OCD that doesn’t involve washing my hands or checking doors over and over again but rather mental rituals. What will happen is a thought enters my mind that I don’t agree with (more accurately an ego dystonic thought), and it will disturb me so much that I will have to think the “right” thought to counteract it. This only makes matters worse for me mentally but I struggle not to engage with it nevertheless. Drug use has worsened this condition and sometimes it gets pretty bad. I was hoping for some info on how others might deal with similar things, basically how to just quiet the mind. I’ve studied CBT/DBT but that doesn’t help. Medication hasn’t quite worked either. Any input is appreciated.
 
www.health.harvard.edu

Managing intrusive thoughts - Harvard Health

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts or mental images that make people feel uncomfortable. They're common, affecting some six million Americans, and can be effectively managed using tools such ...
www.health.harvard.edu www.health.harvard.edu


I was looking into this to combat a different situation, but seemingly designed to be similar in nature.
 
I've dealt with the same issue for most of my life. Just like you, no hand washing stuff, just the thoughts. I don't know how old you are but I just turned 49 and it's gotten a lot better with age. Not completely gone but drastically reduced.
 
Actually, the intrusive thoughts I have nowadays are ones about horrible things happening to my 8 year old son. Occasionally, the thoughts involve me doing the horrible thing, which of course would absolutely never happen because I love my son more than life itself and would gladly sacrifice myself to spare him any pain whatsoever. It's just my brain fucking with me, precisely because I love him so much. It happens whenever I really care about something. Before it was my dog.

It doesn't happen that often but when it does, it's pretty unbearable and it really bums me out.
 
Lovecraft said:
I've dealt with the same issue for most of my life. Just like you, no hand washing stuff, just the thoughts. I don't know how old you are but I just turned 49 and it's gotten a lot better with age. Not completely gone but drastically reduced.
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I’m 27 and it seems to be better than it was when I was in my earlier twenties, but still interferes with my life
 
Lovecraft said:
Actually, the intrusive thoughts I have nowadays are ones about horrible things happening to my 8 year old son. Occasionally, the thoughts involve me doing the horrible thing, which of course would absolutely never happen because I love my son more than life itself and would gladly sacrifice myself to spare him any pain whatsoever. It's just my brain fucking with me, precisely because I love him so much. It happens whenever I really care about something. Before it was my dog.

It doesn't happen that often but when it does, it's pretty unbearable and it really bums me out.
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Yea it seems like the thoughts target what is closest to you, same thing happens to me.
 
do you drink much coffee? caffeine is not what you want for quieting the mind.

if you do, try dandelion tea in the morning instead, tastes amazing and better for you if you already are jittery.

lavender tea i recommend, bath with lavender oil, epsom salts. chamomile tea can be soothing for anxiety at night time.

i know for myself cannabis also amps up the intrusive thoughts for me.

i do similar stuff with not knowing what to do with my thoughts, so i'll start doing positive prayers and things, sometimes it seems like it helps.

i find embodiment another approach, where you bring your attention to the sensation level in the body, notice whats happening, labelling what emotion you think you are feeling helps.

find the location of the physical sensation for that emotion in your body, cradle it, sense the other people also feeling that emotion also around the world.
 
Lovecraft said:
Actually, the intrusive thoughts I have nowadays are ones about horrible things happening to my 8 year old son. Occasionally, the thoughts involve me doing the horrible thing, which of course would absolutely never happen because I love my son more than life itself and would gladly sacrifice myself to spare him any pain whatsoever. It's just my brain fucking with me, precisely because I love him so much. It happens whenever I really care about something. Before it was my dog.

It doesn't happen that often but when it does, it's pretty unbearable and it really bums me out.
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Ugh.. I used to imagine horrible things happening to my daughter (think the Hostel movies 😕) and wonder how I'd feel if I was forced to watch. It's some kind of self-torture that happens when I'm really anxious and makes me more anxious.

OCD, intrusive thoughts, etc are anxiety based. I don't try to stop them, just try not to attach to them. It's Monkey Mind.
 
Sleepless nights until I pass out from exhaustion.
Or a dose of benzo.
I have found no other ways of getting those "worms eating into my brains" feelings to go away. Too many worms, man. Too many.
 
I have been struggling with this a lot for some years now. The intrusive thoughts are usually various trauma that I have experienced, or things I have done/said in the past (mostly throughout my period of extreme drug addiction).

Unfortunately, the way I have begun dealing with the thoughts is by either thinking or saying out loud "I hate myself" or "I wish I was dead" or "I hate life". Saying those will immediately get me distracted from the intrusive thought, but it obviously just feeds into already existing issues considering my self-worth and self-esteem. Sometimes I'll just make a random noise with my mouth to distract from the thought, although it's not as effective as the negative self-talk. The act of speaking and hearing my voice pulls me out of my head.

I have been trying for a while now to change how I deal with the intrusive thoughts but I've made no progress. If I catch myself saying something negative then remind myself that I don't mean it and that I really don't feel that way.

If anyone has advice on how I can deal with the intrusive thoughts in a healthier way I would greatly appreciate it. Dealing with this all day every day is becoming unbearable
 
I have intrusive thoughts as a result of being Autistic. OCD traits are not uncommon in people with autism.

My intrusive thoughts are sexual, and very morally wrong. I still to this day carry a great deal of shame around them and have not told many people exactly what they are.

The thought is like 'what if I somehow lost control of my body and did this thing' and I ruminate on that for hours and hours.

I wish I had some kind of advice but I don't. I only have the reassurance that you aren't the only person who deals with this and I know how you feel.
 
Eligiu said:
I have intrusive thoughts as a result of being Autistic. OCD traits are not uncommon in people with autism.

My intrusive thoughts are sexual, and very morally wrong. I still to this day carry a great deal of shame around them and have not told many people exactly what they are.

The thought is like 'what if I somehow lost control of my body and did this thing' and I ruminate on that for hours and hours.

I wish I had some kind of advice but I don't. I only have the reassurance that you aren't the only person who deals with this and I know how you feel.
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I wouldn’t judge yourself over thoughts. Jesus if we all did that there wouldn’t be anyone left to be the hang man as we would be condemned.
 
neversickanymore said:
I wouldn’t judge yourself over thoughts. Jesus if we all did that there wouldn’t be anyone left to be the hang man as we would be condemned.
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I think it's largely because of the nature of the thoughts I have these feelings. I shared them with close friends at the same time I disclosed my childhood abuse as they were connected, and having them assure me that they didn't view me as a bad person because of the instrusions was very helpful. It still bothers me though because I find it so inherently wrong.
 
I find 'day dreaming' about creative designs or things I want to build is a great way to get out of negative mind loops. If I'm being negative I just start thinking about art I'd like to paint or furniture Id like to build. You don't even have to have the skills or tools to think about creative ways you'd do something different so don't let that stop you.
 
neversickanymore said:
^ thats an admirable trait. I think once we are turned onto something it finds a home in our thoughts.

If you are ashamed of something then maybe end the cycle lose the shame.
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Well unfortunately it's a bit more difficult than that. Because of the nature of my abuse it's also not uncommon for perpetrators to suddenly claim victim status historically as a way of being given a more lenient sentence, which although is a widely dispelled myth is still a deeply held fear of mine due to happening outside of my control.

It actually has affected my life to the extent that I feel uncomfortable around the group of people who are subject to my instrusive thoughts and I fear that even without touching them somehow I will do something to them which was like what was done to me.

I literally grew up petrified that I was going to grow up and commit disgusting crimes and couldn't figure out why it was happening until I did a course in recognising child abuse and neglect in society and it went into some detail about how children having those kinds of thoughts about other children at a young age prior to any known introduction to that topic being a massive red flag for them having experienced that kind of abuse.

I guess I'm just unlucky that the autism and trauma snowballed to create my own worse nightmare.
 
It may have already been mentioned, but meditation is worth looking into. As the general goal of meditation is to exert more personal control over your thoughts. It can be difficult to get into, but once you make some progress and get deeper into it, it definitely helps a lot.
 
My intrusive thoughts have a particular pattern mostly fatal, exaggerated or irreversible, i focus on identify the resulted emotion and then just regulate the emotion based on the characteristics of my personality disorder, in this case simply reducing the euphoria or magnified feel.
 
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