Sapphires
Greenlighter
A few weeks ago I finished an 8 day Ketamine/4-HO-MET/Methoxetamine binge which only ended because I ran out of drugs. While I waited for my next order to arrive (this time with much larger amounts,) I decided to get my sleep schedule back to normal, however I had no fatigue or tiredness and it was impossible. I figured that since I'm not hallucinating or suffering some sort of psychotic episode as a result of the drug cocktail, and especially the stimulant, that I would be fine to just carry out life and that I would get tired eventually. Starting a few days ago, I started to get very minor hallucinations (hearing things, tasting things differently, things morphing into objects) but I was able to identify them as hallucinations. Eventually I managed to fall asleep and I slept for about 11 good hours. I woke up and felt completely normal, but I was not normal at all. I kept hearing knocks on the door and I would see a family member standing there, I would ask if they wanted to come inside and when they said yes they would walk in front of me and turn the corner into the kitchen. When I finally got to where they went, they were gone. This happened at least 20+ times in various scenarios, seeing people and having very detailed conversations with them but hallucinating every aspect of it. That night, I hallucinated that my neighbor texted me and told me that he was in my house going through my stuff and constantly harassing me nonstop, also threatening my dog and bringing up very bitter personal things.. I got extremely angry and told him that I was driving home and that I was going to kill him and set his house on fire, texting him the entire night with absolutely 0% knowledge that this was all merely a hallucination. After all, how can I be tripping that much when I havent used any drugs for 3+ days and I just got a good nights sleep? When I got to his house I pulled in his driveway and texted him to come outside and that we were going to go on a little drive, he said that he wasn't home and that he was at a friends house so I slammed on the horn right next to his door for nearly 5 minutes seeing if he would come out but he didn't. I then went home to go back to skype (where I had hallucinated many more conversations with him and others) and tried to find the chat log in my phone that said the specific thing that made me so enraged. Eventually he apologized for being so rude and caled a truce to which I accepted, I fell asleep shortly after and woke up experiencing the same subtle halucinations and paranoia, just on a smaller scale. I also went through and tried to piece together as much of what happened, but all of the things that I actually said were just incomprehensible jibberish and that I had indeed hallucinated nearly EVERYTHING that happened that night.
I am now at the point where I would like to voluntarily admit myself to a psychiatric facility to acquire a good anti-psychotic as I fear for the safety of others, however the state of maryland has an absolutely terrible medical system which does not properly protect the patients. A mental health facility can keep a patient for as long as they want, and there is financial incentive to do so. I want to find a way to seek psychiatric help, to be able to tell the doctor everything that has happened since the binge, all without any risk of being admitted against my will.
Any options are welcome, including going to another state or country with more protective laws.
I am now at the point where I would like to voluntarily admit myself to a psychiatric facility to acquire a good anti-psychotic as I fear for the safety of others, however the state of maryland has an absolutely terrible medical system which does not properly protect the patients. A mental health facility can keep a patient for as long as they want, and there is financial incentive to do so. I want to find a way to seek psychiatric help, to be able to tell the doctor everything that has happened since the binge, all without any risk of being admitted against my will.
Any options are welcome, including going to another state or country with more protective laws.