How do I support when I need support myself?

[SunshineyDAE]

My husband and I have been married going on 2 years we have 5 kids together and a love that is truly like no other. He is an IV user his choice candy is Suboxine and he has been an addict for most of his life, he has been using IV on and off for the past 10 years or so...our relationship has suffered a lot due to the lies and him hiding things as well as me finding needles and/or drugs in my home after making it clear that I didn't want any of that around our kids! Due to that we are now living apart and he is missing a lot of our kids growing up...I myself am a recovering addict, my choice candy was dills...or any kind of opiate/benzo I could get. I have never used IV and have struggled with the addictions for about 10 years. I just decided I was done and I kicked it alone cold turkey, I've fell off the wagon a couple times but have always been able to get back on right away, where he doesn't, he binges and sometimes it's for months and sometimes he stays clean for months...I dont know how to support him in being/staying clean!? He tried rehab and it lasted 3 days until he couldn't handle it due to being the only person that wasn't court ordered and being in a rehab that was very unprofessional and unorganized. Others were shooting in the bathroom the councilors were careless and only there for a paycheck. I'm afraid because of that one bad experience he will never go again. I've tried to encourage him to go to meetings but he never does. I'm desperate to help him especially for our kids sake. He is off and on and claims he has been clean a little over a week now I just don't even believe him at this point...Please...any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

 

[T. Calderone]

Rehab only works for a person if they want to get clean. That being said, maybe find a different facility for your husband? Ultimately, it's up to him because there's no point in going if he's not willing to quit. I'm going to move this to The Dark Side.

 

[herbavore]

You are in a really tough place and so is he. I think when there are kids concerned the boundaries get even more critical. Hopefully, love for his kids can help motivate him to want to change. One of the hardest things in the world is the helplessness that you feel watching someone else go through addiction.