How do I re-integrate psychedelics?

[Jayman]

For awhile now I have been mainly using opioid and depressant type drugs. It wasn't always like that though. When i regularly started using it was weed at the age of 16. My next experience was MDMA, which i fell inlove with. Those experiences are what opened me up to trying psychedelics. Then from there I tried LSD, which totally changed my perception of myself and the world around me. It completely changed my view on what I was going to do with my life. It motivated me to seek out my goals and meet them with excellence. I was doing good in school because of those times, mainly science because that was my fav sub.

Skip forward abit and a very toxic relationship coupled with alot of MDMA and depression, I didn't even know who I was. I allowed myself to become the total opposite of what I was going to become. I couldnt even enjoy weed and still cant because of crippling anxiety. I got into trouble with LE and was looking at doing almost a decade in prison. I got lucky and only served 1 year with parole and probation.

Since my release in 08 opiates have been pretty much all i do, and I've let them cripple me. Intolerant to cold, agitated constantly, physically hurting till i find something.... I don't want to live like this. I want that love for life I once had. I know there is more to life, I know that there are more of those amazing experiences left for me to have.

How do i begin though? I am nervous about trying them again. I mean, could i use psychedelics to really show me how profoundly wasteful my life has become? How do I do this? What advice, given my position, could any of you experienced psyche users offer me that would allow me to get my interest into personal development back with vigor?!

Thanks to anyone who can offer any advice, as always your time is greatly appreciated.

 

[PsychedelicSicknes]

I was in the same situation. i was into the RC alot in 04 then got into opiates and battled those. there was a long stretch i didnt touch psychedelics and had no real urge to either. i found 2 lsd tabs in my attic i bought a couple summers back and figured what the heck. that peaked my interest after years of not using psychedelics. that was almost 2 years ago. although i dont trip much often if at all right now. i plan to, im in that mindframe u are right now. i want to BUT its just not a good time. You will know when your ready, eventually you'll be like fuck it its been too long lol

also i find using psychedelics while on opiates is a waste. after years of opiate using me personally i noticed i dont get visuals unless my eyes are dialated and when im on opiates my eyes are pin point and it just takes away from the whole experience. but thats me.....

 

[Jayman]

Yeah i know, i did some HOT-7 the other day and my eye were so dilated that i couldnt see at all. I'm not use to that anymore.

I want to take a good dose of my DOC so bad but i'm kinda nervous to.

 

[Phaxius]

When it comes to addiction, a good portion of removing habits involves a lot of work in changing habituation. This can be especially difficult with something like opiates that causes physical withdrawal. In any type of habituation our neurons begin to strengthen connections over time in favor of these habits, thus making it harder and harder to shy away from such behavior as long as we continue on the same path. This is true of habituation even when drugs are not involved. With drugs, the seeking behaviors largely work in this way, but they also can dramatically alter receptor sites as well. This cycle of drug seeking and withdrawal avoidance can be quite vicious indeed, but it is possible to reverse the process to some extent. By interrupting the impulse to seek drugs and putting focus elsewhere it weakens the connections that rule the seeking behavior, and by reducing intake of drugs it eventually lessens withdrawal. It is a lot of work, and can be very difficult (especially at first), but it can be done.

The point of this is that psychedelics can't do anything for you that you can't do for yourself, however, with the right approach it can be the difference between building a house with a hand tools vs using power tools to the same end. While I have very little first hand experience with opiate addiction, I do have experience with alcohol addiction (as well as a few others past and present, but alcohol is the one that I can relate to the topic). I know it's not at all the same beyond some mechanisms of habituation, but I used to drink every day for years. Now I very rarely drink, and I attribute this to psychedelic usage and a lot of work on interrupting the impulse to do so. At first it was certainly difficult, alcohol was my safety net to keep me from having to address a high level of anxiety, but also a stumbling block when it came to finding ways to realize the true source of the anxiety and coming to terms with things to truly resolve it. Psychedelics played a major role in helping me to evaluate my life path and interrupt the cycle enough to escape it much faster and get myself closer to the path I want to be on in life. The most useful experiences for me along these lines came from 4-aco-dmt and lots of introspection.

Sometimes it is only by going through hell that we can truly appreciate heaven (pardon the religious connotation there...not really meant as anything but metaphor). I wish you all the best and hope you find the path you seek.

 

[Jayman]

@ Phaxius: Thanks for your honesty about addiction, I feel the same way in my use. I have anxiety when any situation presents itself and I dont have opioids to medicate myself with. My goal is to use the psychedelics as you have described, a "power" tool. I am just unsure how to go about this in the most genuine manner. I mean it use to be that any time was a good time for me to trip out and learn something but now I feel apprehensive about when to dose.

When is the best time for me to direct all my attention inward and secure a foothold on my self destructing tendencies with this opioid dependence? When should I dose myself to give myself the best chance of positive, time-less change?

I want to use psychedelics as I use to, a key for opening doors of self-exploration. I honestly feel that when I convert back over the fence, so to speak, I will beat this reliance on opioids and find true happiness once again. I believe that with past experience with tolerance and addiction, that I will not make the same mistake with psychedelics, they are too beautiful.

So I guess my next questions are:

When do you guys find it the best time to dose?

Has anyone reading this had a problem with an addictive substance and through psychedelics dealt and conquered their problems?

I plan on using DOC as my catalyst. Has anyone used DOC and found it to change them positively?

 

[psykedenlitenment]

I know that both by patents have alcoholism in their families. One brother for each of them. One underwent quadruple bypass surgery and was more or less forced to quit cold turkey. The other has had concern expressed from his family and chooses to ignore it. It's because of this, I walk the line. I have to, every time I drink, remember how many I've had and how many I CAN have. This isn't always fun, but I'd rather be inwardly dissatisfied, than outwardly an asshole. I may have almost stepped over my line a few times, but always grabbed the wheel at the right moment.
I feel DOC would definitely be long enough to distract you, but in the end, it is ultimately up to you. Just pick a day and take 3/4 of what normally satisfies and continue to taper down every 4-5 days. Fill in that empty space with something and fight for yourself. It's hard and sometimes a drag but worth it. Believe in yourself and your resolution and don't give up. The first step is always the biggest. Best of luck!

Edit: opiates are very tantalizing for me as well as alcohol.