How do I even begin to recover...

[rainofthehour]

I can't stop doing dissos.. I have an addictive personality and I can't cope with my own emotions I have BPD and always need someone or something to help me regulate because I can't stand my own hellish brain
I can't not get high on something
I always need to be addicted to something
I have been trying to quit drugs and it led to a lot of .. Better than drugs coping mechanisms but still very uncomfortable regardless
I am failing
my therapists dont take my PTSD seriously and IDK WHAT TO FUCKING DO. I am at a loss.
I have been hitting my bed for the past 10 minutes and it doesn't work
I gave in and did a line of DMXE after like a week of sobriety
During that time I got overly attached to a friend and did a lot of sex stuff with him and it's a whole other mess because I don't feel my value any other way
I am my worst enemy
Lost

 

[Ki3ly]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Try to stop gradually. Or switch to something that is much Safer,

temporarily or to get you through at least.

It seems like this is too excessive and can be Dangerous.

Please try to use as little as possible, slow down and stop using drugs that will be hazardous to your life.

And will keep making your life and everything else worse. You deserve better than this. You really do !

Get a handle on it and slow down. You can !!!!

 

[rainofthehour]

Thank you for your kind reply internet stranger..I'm sorry..
I am genuinely ruins of myself tonight
I don't know what to do in this situation other than get high
Feeling awful and can't even think straight right now becase of what I took
I hate relapse
Even though I am high I am still feelingm like shit and acting up,are Benzos safe to use with dmxe?? I will take clonazepam I think..