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How do i break up with my overly attached girlfriend in the least hurtful way?

nancy145

nancy145

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
529
Location
Virginia,usa
I'm currently 17 and am homeschooled, so I don't really have a place to meet new people. I went on some kik app thing made for flirting/dating people you find online, I guess like tinder but for teenagers who can't actually go meet up. I was just lonely and wanted someone to flirt with or have like a friends with benefits thing, I didn't want a full commited relationship. I started talking to this girl, and we sorta developed a friends with benefits relationship after few days, then after a few more days she started calling me her boyfriend and talking about how shed get mad if I even flirt with other girls. I didn't know what to say, I wanted a no commitment thing cuz I still wanna be able to put a break on it if I find a girl in person, but it was kinda too late. It's been about two weeks now, but she's acting like it's been half a year. We've gotten pretty sexual, we've done pretty much everything you can over video call, she's talking about how were gonna get married and have kids and shit, how were gonna last forever, how she would be nothing without me, all this super deep stuff. I feel like a breakup would be more like a divorce for her. Coincidentally, I just met another girl in person. I really like her, a lot more in like every aspect, and we can physically be together, so I'd much rather be with her. She obviously likes me too, she's flirted with me a lot in obvious ways. I've had to like dodge it all without turning it down, because I don't wanna cheat or do anything on a lesser scale. I wanna break up with my GF as soon as I possibly can, but I just don't know how without breaking her heart...
 
just be honest with her. i think you've probably said everything you need to say by way of explanation in that post.
just being upfront and clear will cause her a lot less hurt and confusion than if you were to string her along.
 
Being a girl myself and being in that position honey there is no easy way to be honest. Tell her how you feel but be as gentle as possible, if she gets aggressive just back down and get away AND STAY AWAY don't let her trick you into coming back around. :)
 
It'll hurt no matter how you tell her, honestly. :( Just be honest and straightforward!!
 
I think a voice to voice call might be best.

That's me though.
 
Yeah just be honest with her, let her know that you were just looking for something casual. Honestly it's a really bad sign that she would be this serious after 2 weeks, especially when it's not even been in person. I feel bad for her, it sounds like she has some issues though.

I think there's probably no reason to tell her about this other girl, because that will probably make it hurt worse for her. Just tell her you didn't want anything serious and you're sorry for hurting her.
 
I agree with Noodle, but I must add to it that ommitting the truth to make the other person feel better about being dumped is never beneficial to either the dumper or dumpee (just in case you were thinking about sparing feelings) ... Give the whole truth, no matter how shallow or cold hearted it may genuinely be.

The truth sets everyone free.

People are too sheltered by others sugarcoating every instance of trial and error in their lives. I was ignorant to how void and cold this world really is up until I figured out that most are out for themselves and hide real feelings to disengage from conflict, abandonment or betrayal without feeling any amount of remorse for their actions ...

Anyways, enough of my babble babble bullshit rambling for now.
 
also an idea i like to play with is that we can't really inflict suffering on other people. it is up to other people to how they interpret what we say. if we make a mistake, then learn from it and move on.
 
@mysterie, that sounds like rationalization brewing. It's the "I'm not touching you!" school of Buddhist thought.

You may be right, it's the person that chooses to react and then suffers, but don't kid yourself that you're not responsible.

But OP, there's one level of suffering you'll inflict by honesty, and a worse one by letting it continue or lying.




(not that I'd know, having never had two girls after me at the same time, but hey, I've imagined it plenty)
 
Listen man life goes on. Break up with her and tell her the fucking truth like a man. She will eventually get over it and respect you for your honesty.
 
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