Theshadowpeople
Greenlighter
I have been sober for 100 days and last night I shot up meth again for the first time since. I was so excited but when I finally hit I didn't have that amazing breathtaking moment that i always usually did. my head started spinning alot and my whole body started tingling like crazy.(which was cool but weird it didnt feel right) It was a not the high i was expecting. I was definitely high but I felt like I was smoked out which sucks cause I hate that feeling its why I only slammed anymore. A couple hours later I honestly wasn't feeling ohkay..something was missing...so I decided to do another little one cause, ya know, I thought maybe I mixed it wrong or something. The first one was not even 25cc and the second one i made was a 15cc maybe. When I hit the second one i started breathing quickly and I thought "there we go" aha but it just never peaked right...I don't know the whole rest of the night I was super dizzy I seriously felt smoked out. I layed on my bed all night wondering why the fuck I ever did it for so long before in the first place....as the morning came around I started to get really nauseous..I felt like i had all these air bubbles in my stomach that were just wanting out and I would burp a little and feel some relief but it just kept getting worse. I seriously thought I was gonna puke but it went away after I ate a little and took a shower. So since some time went by and I was feeling fine I decided to do a little one to start my day off (it had been over 12 hours since the last one) so I believe I did another 20cc and that one hit waayy better then the first two but that was short lived because i had to get up to run to the bathroom and i started puking..I felt fine right after everything was out. but that has never ever happened to me before. I didnt puke again but the nausea faded in and out all day and again I just pretty much felt super stuck and smoked out. I haven't done anymore but I feel super shitty. I'm disappointed.
Do you think it's because I did too much? I was extremely underweight and weak when I was slamming 50cc (that's the highest i ever went i usually only did 40-45) 3 months ago.
But I guess my body was used to it and was running on it in a way.
I'm glad I'm so healthy now and honestly I don't think imma be doing this anymore forever....My exploration into the "substance" world has been amazing exciting and yet the hugest fucking disappointment of my life. I can't find anything that doesn't eventually bore me at some point. I thought shit was gonna be different but its just like everytime I've gotten really into something and really liked it but stopped for a bit and came back to it i just don't like the high anymore and I never do it again. and I don't mean that I'm chasing my first high at all. because the last shot i did 100 days ago was a good as the first one i ever did a year before that hah. I don't know what I'm trying to say but yaaa..
Can anyone relate? :/
Do you think it's because I did too much? I was extremely underweight and weak when I was slamming 50cc (that's the highest i ever went i usually only did 40-45) 3 months ago.
But I guess my body was used to it and was running on it in a way.
I'm glad I'm so healthy now and honestly I don't think imma be doing this anymore forever....My exploration into the "substance" world has been amazing exciting and yet the hugest fucking disappointment of my life. I can't find anything that doesn't eventually bore me at some point. I thought shit was gonna be different but its just like everytime I've gotten really into something and really liked it but stopped for a bit and came back to it i just don't like the high anymore and I never do it again. and I don't mean that I'm chasing my first high at all. because the last shot i did 100 days ago was a good as the first one i ever did a year before that hah. I don't know what I'm trying to say but yaaa..
Can anyone relate? :/
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