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How can i know if my liver is ruined or not?

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xibenix

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 31, 2013
Messages
54
Im still rather young, just turned 18 less than a year ago. Anyways ever since 13 i've been taking massive doses of apap,(inside other meds that can get you a buzz) nearly everyday, as well as combinding them with whatever scripts ive had to take. Ive had 40+ different scripts since then for depression or anxiety so the whole time ive had to take those, and at the same time apap and rarely alcohol, or other stuff. I stick to RX pills usually when i want to get a buzz. Maybe 2 years ago i tried to commit suicide via APAP even though i knew it'd be the most painful death or a painful one. I took atleast 20-30g at once, and nothing really ended up happening. Last year i had a heavy OD on bath salts(i was told it was coke) and they said it mayve damaged my liver, and for a long time we though it caused me permanent mental issues such a break causing pschizo, or something similar i was fucking nuts for 3 weeks in a hospital and dying. Ever since then ive developed epilepsy from the OD and take depakote and topamax twice a day for it which is also supposed to be heavy on my liver. And as i said basically past 5 years ive been taking 2-4g apap or more everyday, for multiple months in a row, all the way until i got busted, got help and went back to it over and over again. Also been combinding like as many drugs as i can at a time. Ive still been taking RX's with apap and my liver harming epilepsy meds, lately everyday.

Im starting to get concerned about my liver, often i randomly have horrific stomach pains in the morning, diahrea everyday (sorry for being graphic) and fucked up sinuses(not a symptom i doubt). Anyways im wondering when will i know if i went to far or if my liver is severly damaged? or is it possible that 2-4g+ apap everyday hasnt nuked my liver yet? Im very irresponsible but right now i know i neeed to be concerned about my liver cause i know its what you need to live.

Im addicted to alot of things so stopping would be difficult btw. I just need advice about my liver, and maybe if it will be motivation to get clean to save it.

Also another possible liver symptom im having is not hungry, ive been skipping meals often and... im a fat kid since i became epileptic i normally eat alot.
 
Hey xibenix, welcome to TDS. I'm really sorry to hear the state you are in--physically and mentally. At 18 you have every chance in the world to regain your health but you need to commit to it. If you are suicidal that means the pain of your existence has passed the tipping point and death looks more appealing than life. Life itself is not usually the problem--it is how we live it. I have seen a lot of people come into this forum terrified about their livers. What about your spirit? What is making life so painful? I think that when you can get the help you need. either from friends, a family member or a counselor to get to the root of why you are needing to be high (what needs to be masked or numbed or denied) you can begin to heal. It sounds like your liver is definitely in trouble but livers and spirits are famously regenerative. taking care of yourself requires feeling that you are worth taking care of. Sometimes we get so battered down that it is next to impossible to feel that way. Do whatever it takes to get back to the kind of self acceptance you had--without even trying--when you were a little kid. You are still that same great person. <3
 
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