How can I help my heroin-addicted friend?

[Pagey]

Hey,
Some of you may recall I made a post a few days ago asking how a person acts when on heroin because I suspected this friend of mine might be using. Since his behavior really coincided with your answers, I ended up asking him upfront and he admitted to me that he's been using for about four months, and IV'ing daily for two. He insisted extremely strongly on the fact that he does NOT want to stop and that he's perfectly happy being addicted to it, that his life has been much better ever since he's started, etc. etc. He has a lot of money so it's unlikely this would become an issue in the near-future, but I'm still thinking he will come to regret this some day. Considering how opposed he is to help though, I don't really know what to do...should I still try to help him stop? If so, how? I'm afraid if I'm too pushy it might have a contrary effect and make him use more
(I'm also a bit worried this'll get me back on the drug train even though I've been trying to stop, but well, that's another issue)

 

[Znegative]

I'm going to move this over to TDS.

The sad and unfortunate thing about opiate addiction (well, all addiction), is that it is rare that an addict will be able two get clean and stay that way, unless he or she really wants it. While it is good to express concern, you don't want to push people to hard, because it is more likely that when in the depths of an addiction, they will push you away before the drugs.

 

[i against i]

my friends who don't use often express their concern, tell me i should stop iv'ing (as much less risk of them getting a shitty phonecall), but don't push the issue and i really appreciate that they express their concern for me without being preachy and pushy, as that would just drive a wedge between us. seems things just have to run their course, like i've stopped iv'ing because it didn't save money, wasn't that much better, and just too many risks, but i don't know how much of a part other things played into that decision.

good detective work btw.

 

[OxycoDrone]

Is he using heroin specifically or various other opiates? If he's using oxycodone, try to show him that it's really dangerous to shoot pills and that eating them has an 80-90% BA orally so all he's doing is getting instant onset, less duration, and fucking his veins. If he is doing heroin, talk to him about trying out oral oxy.

Other than that, just do as iAi said and show/tell him that you care, but respect that he's an adult, and occasionally ask if he's doing okay etc. Show that you're a true friend who won't give up on him just because of his DOC. I've had many like that, but next to none who ever asked "Hey, are you okay? Can I help you at all?" because it's really easy to judge but a lot harder to actually support someone. I hope that you are the latter kind.

Also, excellent spotting :D It's sometimes really easy to spot an addict, especially if you know them well, but not always and you need to know what to look for. Hope your friend is okay and that you can learn to accept this new part of his life even if you don't approve per se.

-OCD

 

[badfish45]

Here's the sad thing, and this is what I had trouble with. You can only help them by just offering your love. That's it. When my friend first got addicted I had some much trouble coming to terms that I wouldn't be able to help her. http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/588439-Friend-s-heroin-problem-spiraling-out-of-control

Please read through that thread, because it does have some wonderful advice. And you know what, that was back in september, and last I have heard from her sister she's been clean for about over a month now. Drugs are such a fine line between life and death but all you can do is pray and hope that it goes the right direction. MY heart aches for you OP, there's not much worse than finding out that your friend has become addicted to hard drugs.

 

[Pagey]

I only asked him about heroin, I don't know if he's using anything else, but I'll ask then. Isn't oxy considerably less strong than H/would induce some w/d though? (I don't know much about opiates)

I would definitely never judge him for this, since A. I don't see why any drug addict should be judged, it's stupid, pointless and it's just a way for people to make themselves feel better (tbh I just get super pissed off whenever someone insults drug addicts simply because they've 'succumbed' to addiction) and B. I can't really lecture him on it since I have my own drug issues (although nothing as strong as heroin). But since I know I shouldn't push him too hard/ make him think I'm judging him by freaking out or something, I didn't really know what I could do without being too invasive so thanks for your advice. This will in no way change how I see him nor what I think of him, I just care about him very much and don't want this to hurt him. Dyou think it might help if I talk to him about my own addiction just to show him that he's not alone/that I understand (sort of) what he's going through/ that I won't judge him? (Or might this worry/annoy him? I'm really afraid of saying the wrong thing here)

And thank you I'm very grateful that so many people on this forum were able to help me figure it out.

 

[i against i]

yeah it sounds good to share. something i asked one friend to do is to give me a proper slap if things went seriously downhill regarding health, social activities etc. for example if i started stealing shit i'd want someone to smack me and ask what the fuck are you doing you mong.

 

[Sepher]

Pagey, unfortunately there's not a lot you can do at this stage. He's still in the first flush of his opiate romance getting nothing but positives from them. It's typically only when the negative aspects come to outweigh the positives, the positives diminishing over time as tolerance keeps going up and up to the point of making the habit unsustainable that users find the reason and the motivation to quit. That might be a long time coming, maybe months or even years away. Till he gets there all you can do I think is continue to be the friend you've always been to him so he has at least one person in his life who truly cares for him, and be ready with the support for when he does eventually decide it's time to try and quit.

It could be a long road, one that you might find increasingly difficult as his addiction progresses but one day he'll look back and see that you were always there for him come what may, and are still there to help him pick up the pieces and get back on track. That's about the most valuable thing you can give him, as quite often opiate users burn their bridges and lose the good people in their lives, the circle they're left with consisting only of other addicts making it much harder for them to leave the addiction behind. I know probably none of this is what you were really hoping to hear and I hope it doesn't come across as discouraging but that's just how opiate addiction is. You're obviously a good friend who cares for him so I have no doubt that you'll be there when he needs you and in the end he'll love you all the more for it. In the meantime stay strong.