I only want to try mulungu but I have a serious complex about getting a negative reaction. I have terrible fears about lying alone dying in my flat only being discovered weeks later when the stench of my maggot infested decomposed body wafts out into the hallways of my apartment block.
People will say 'just dont take it' but still every day is misery stuck in this malaise of anxiety and depression. Kratom has helped me greatly. I feel there may be other similar substances which can allow me to start interacting normally in the outside world again without having huge rages at the slightest setback.
The best idea Ive thought of is to hang around outside my doctor's practice. Any other ideas? My parents are the only other humans I speak to on a regular basis and I couldnt ask them.
I recall I used to use alcohol to dumb down this feeling and allow me to act a little more wreckless but I vowed never to touch another dorp since I am disgusted by that dehydrated feeling you get and pissing every 5 minutes.
I have been afraid to try other more addictive anxiolytics for their addictiveness but maybe if I take a small dose of those for a short spell to clear my mind enough to allow me to try the mulungu. I remember the only way I ended up tryig kratom was by taking a low dose of dxm one day to give me the courage to order the kratom after several failed attempts. I threw out several bags before finally taking an active dose and coming to like it. Perhaps antoher antidepressant dose of dxm is in order to see if i get some better persective on the situation. It feels so gritty and grimy tho I want to avoid that.
People will say 'just dont take it' but still every day is misery stuck in this malaise of anxiety and depression. Kratom has helped me greatly. I feel there may be other similar substances which can allow me to start interacting normally in the outside world again without having huge rages at the slightest setback.
The best idea Ive thought of is to hang around outside my doctor's practice. Any other ideas? My parents are the only other humans I speak to on a regular basis and I couldnt ask them.
I recall I used to use alcohol to dumb down this feeling and allow me to act a little more wreckless but I vowed never to touch another dorp since I am disgusted by that dehydrated feeling you get and pissing every 5 minutes.
I have been afraid to try other more addictive anxiolytics for their addictiveness but maybe if I take a small dose of those for a short spell to clear my mind enough to allow me to try the mulungu. I remember the only way I ended up tryig kratom was by taking a low dose of dxm one day to give me the courage to order the kratom after several failed attempts. I threw out several bags before finally taking an active dose and coming to like it. Perhaps antoher antidepressant dose of dxm is in order to see if i get some better persective on the situation. It feels so gritty and grimy tho I want to avoid that.
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