Hi Everyone,
I hope I'm posting this in the right place. I am a recovering opiate addict myself- did heroin in my early-mid 20's, then relapsed with Oxy's in my early-mid 30's. I've been clean for 11 years now, but unfortunately my beautiful daughter is struggling with heroin addiction now. She started using IV heroin at age 16, after 5 years of smoking weed off/on, occasional pill/Molly use, and self harming. I took her to several counselors, and finally when she was 14, agreed to i have her put on antidepressants. She tried Zoloft then Prozac but didn't like either, they made her too tired.
I discovered her heroin addiction last September and immediately took her to detox. She said she wanted to get clean, but refused to go on to residential living when she didn't get into her first choice. She went on Suboxone and came home, where she did an outpatient program and went to weekly AA meetings (not enough meetings, I know). She relapsed after 3 months but I didn't find out for another 3 months when I gave her a supervised urine screening because her behavior was suspicious. I took her to rehab again the next day. She wanted off of Suboxone so she tapered off in detox. That time I really fought to have her go to residential, but she refused. She told the very young clinician exactly what she wanted to hear and convinced them she was fine to go home, even though at the same time, she was telling me she was moving out of our house. So she came home and ran away a week later, as soon as she was home alone and got the chance. Two days later she overdosed and was without a pulse for a few minutes, but was revived with Narcan. The police came to my door to tell me and I rushed to the ER. Back to detox she went. This time she didn't want to go but I insisted, as usual. She told the clinicians she was not ready to stop using and didn't want help, but this time they were on my side and she was sent to residential treatment, although she insisted she did not want to go. She ran away from residential after a week, and ended up out in Boston with a guy who is now her boyfriend. He is supplying her with heroin, although he is not a user himself. In a way its good because she is safer that way- he gets large quantities so she's not always getting different strengths/mixes of door and he comes it out to her, plus she doesn't have to shoplift or prostitute and she has clean works. BUT she is really getting no negative consequences from her use, therefore is not going to "hit bottom" unless he stops supplying her or they split up. She says she is just not ready to get clean.
I text with her every day and see her about once a week. We meet for lunch and I have taken her to the doctors for a physical, shopping, etc. Its nice to see her except that she brings her dope and goes off and gets high, then she's nodding and I just get too upset. I told her I can't see her like that. I don't expect her to be dopesick but she needs to refrain from using while she is with me, since we are only together for 4-6 hours. I think that's reasonable.
I send her information on addiction treatment and once sent her a harm reduction info sheet on safer IV drug use. I tell her about how I felt using and how I got clean. Both times I got clean, I got on methadone mmaintenance, so I'm talking to her a lot about that. I know it's not perfect and some people disapprove, but it can save lives for people who want to get out of the destructive cycle of active addiction but are not ready, willing or able to be completely opiate free.
I don't see much point in sectioning her, because they only hold people for 20-30 days and I don't think that would change her readiness to get clean. If anything I think it would drive her further away and cause her to hide from me so I couldn't section her again. I am terrified of her dying of an overdose, and if I don't hear from her in the morning and at night, I start stressing and worrying.
For the recovering addicts here, do you have any suggestions on how I could help my daughter? I know I can't force her to want to stop using, but I wonder if there is anything I could do to help her realize that she deserves to have a better life and can be happy without drugs. Any suggestions are welcome! Thanks so much.
I hope I'm posting this in the right place. I am a recovering opiate addict myself- did heroin in my early-mid 20's, then relapsed with Oxy's in my early-mid 30's. I've been clean for 11 years now, but unfortunately my beautiful daughter is struggling with heroin addiction now. She started using IV heroin at age 16, after 5 years of smoking weed off/on, occasional pill/Molly use, and self harming. I took her to several counselors, and finally when she was 14, agreed to i have her put on antidepressants. She tried Zoloft then Prozac but didn't like either, they made her too tired.
I discovered her heroin addiction last September and immediately took her to detox. She said she wanted to get clean, but refused to go on to residential living when she didn't get into her first choice. She went on Suboxone and came home, where she did an outpatient program and went to weekly AA meetings (not enough meetings, I know). She relapsed after 3 months but I didn't find out for another 3 months when I gave her a supervised urine screening because her behavior was suspicious. I took her to rehab again the next day. She wanted off of Suboxone so she tapered off in detox. That time I really fought to have her go to residential, but she refused. She told the very young clinician exactly what she wanted to hear and convinced them she was fine to go home, even though at the same time, she was telling me she was moving out of our house. So she came home and ran away a week later, as soon as she was home alone and got the chance. Two days later she overdosed and was without a pulse for a few minutes, but was revived with Narcan. The police came to my door to tell me and I rushed to the ER. Back to detox she went. This time she didn't want to go but I insisted, as usual. She told the clinicians she was not ready to stop using and didn't want help, but this time they were on my side and she was sent to residential treatment, although she insisted she did not want to go. She ran away from residential after a week, and ended up out in Boston with a guy who is now her boyfriend. He is supplying her with heroin, although he is not a user himself. In a way its good because she is safer that way- he gets large quantities so she's not always getting different strengths/mixes of door and he comes it out to her, plus she doesn't have to shoplift or prostitute and she has clean works. BUT she is really getting no negative consequences from her use, therefore is not going to "hit bottom" unless he stops supplying her or they split up. She says she is just not ready to get clean.
I text with her every day and see her about once a week. We meet for lunch and I have taken her to the doctors for a physical, shopping, etc. Its nice to see her except that she brings her dope and goes off and gets high, then she's nodding and I just get too upset. I told her I can't see her like that. I don't expect her to be dopesick but she needs to refrain from using while she is with me, since we are only together for 4-6 hours. I think that's reasonable.
I send her information on addiction treatment and once sent her a harm reduction info sheet on safer IV drug use. I tell her about how I felt using and how I got clean. Both times I got clean, I got on methadone mmaintenance, so I'm talking to her a lot about that. I know it's not perfect and some people disapprove, but it can save lives for people who want to get out of the destructive cycle of active addiction but are not ready, willing or able to be completely opiate free.
I don't see much point in sectioning her, because they only hold people for 20-30 days and I don't think that would change her readiness to get clean. If anything I think it would drive her further away and cause her to hide from me so I couldn't section her again. I am terrified of her dying of an overdose, and if I don't hear from her in the morning and at night, I start stressing and worrying.
For the recovering addicts here, do you have any suggestions on how I could help my daughter? I know I can't force her to want to stop using, but I wonder if there is anything I could do to help her realize that she deserves to have a better life and can be happy without drugs. Any suggestions are welcome! Thanks so much.
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![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I myself am a heroin addict (female aged 25) and I started on methadone maintenance two weeks ago because I was getting tired of being either high or sick but not at all motivated to stop completely I also have severe sleeping problems thanks to a past GHB/GBL addiction I had two years ago where I wake up every two hours and often cannot get back to sleep, often have sleep paralysis and nightmares making me chronically exhausted and the opiates make me feel fit again, which is a major factor in my addiction and one of the reasons I opted for methadone maintenance; I'm not really willing at all to quit opiates completely; I tried for my families sake as it really hurts my mother (that's why I feel for you and why I'm replying; my own mother is in tears often I still live at home and she has no experience with addiction herself and does not understand but seeing me struggling hurts her so much so I can imagen how you feel, your daughter being so young and all too), but I tend to relapse in less then 24 hours and since I became addicted to smoking heroin I hadn't been off it for more then 48 hours I have ADHD too and I'm impulsive and until two weeks ago I was not motivated to overcome my addiction but I am now. For me methadone seems to be a life safer; on it I feel stable, I feel the same all day, I feel my emotions again but it does help with the cravings I have no urge to go and purchase heroin now the methadone makes me feel optimistic I do get a mild euphoria (and a mild itch, which I like, that actually helps with the cravings), but I haven't felt this normal in many months and best of all I sleep well on it! I can sleep like 6-8 hours in a row on it and it makes me feel stable my mother also noticed how much more stable I seem to be on it and it does help with the chronic tiredness both in being an opioid and making me feel more fit and in helping me sleep, I think I'll stay on it probably long term, I've been abusing drugs for 10 years and have been addicted to several different drugs and this seems to be the only realistic way in overcoming my addiction; my family now agrees.
