This is a very important topic or concept for me. My whole life since I left school has been to be different, but not just for the point of it, but different in terms of challenging the status quo, questioning everything, not being a sheep and most importantly advertising my differences (whether they are perceived as faults or strengths, doesnt matter) to everybody, not in a cocky way but in a way that tries to humbly show people that there is nothing wrong with thinking differently, living differently, not conforming to what society has decided is how a person should live, act or think.
For this reason, I never hid my drug use from anybody, well maybe for a year but soon stopped hiding it, since i started at about 23yo, 7 years back, lost many friends in the beginning yeah, but kept all the ones that where real and valuable. My true friends never left or judged me, even if they didnt do drugs themselves, and it really showed me true friendships over mere social acquaintances or shallow relationships. I know have real close friendships even with some people that I disliked, judged or plain hated from before. One of my closest friend now is a guy that hates drugs and drug users, and i hated in school, yet knows of my usage and we still somehow work. Always being open and humble about my mistakes, weaknesses and activities has been incredibly liberating and valuable in my life and relationships with real friends and family, however its tough in the beginning when you still care about what other people think of you.
With regards to my mom, she has always been aware of my drug use, as a hardcore christian who wont even touch weed, I have often sat and had long discussions with her about my time taking crystal meth, the feeling, the euphoria, and its amazing to be able to do that with your own mother who is family and you love, and they actually listen and find interest in an experience so beyond their understanding its crazy. In the beginning the usual pre-judgement is there, but after years they learn that your not some failure, weak person, junkie, just different with different ideas, and she listens and understands why i do drugs and it was so worth the effort and pain being open about it from the start. Obviously, not all parents can handle this, my mother is awesome, however I would never tell or try this with my dad ever, so it depends.
Anyways, the point is drugs has taught me to be proud of being different or have faults and accept any ignorance and blind judgement with a smile and a humble response, and boy does it make you stronger when you start off as a shy person who values them self purely through how other people view them. Hell I spent 6 years of my life trying to build my own internet business just to prove the society approved concept of a job is bullshit. Getting a career, praying for promotions you have no control over, selling all your time, your whole life to somebody else making some other person rich, and finally retiring and dying with a small pension, with nothing to show for you entire life of service? fuck that idea. Why anybody accepts that society approved life is still a complete mystery to me.
I was mocked by family and friends for years, watching people have nice things, get girlfriends, get promoted while i spent all my time and spare money on creating my own business, outwarding seeming to never get anywhere, until i eventually did it 4 years later. Now I work 1 hour a day max, answer to nobody, make money while is sleep, can do anything i want any day or time i want, literally retired before 30. I proved it to everybody and it was cool for a while, but some people still dont accept it, are still convinced that somehow my life of total freedom is worse then their life of career slavery. You learn you just cant convince some people, no matter how hard you try. After that i realized you need to be different for you, doing it to prove something has a fleeting reward at best. I will say however doing something just to prove a naysayer wrong is one of the most motivating methods, hell most everything i achieved was simply to prove to the old man that i could when he said it was impossible, and of course it was never enough.
But still being different, and challenging the norm, even if i look like an idiot or an outcast because of it, has made me happy, made my life have value, and i wouldn't change any of it ever just to fit in and be accepted by society. The day society takes me in and doesnt see me as an abbe-ration to be corrected is the day i know Ive fucked up or sold out. Hell, I would most likely always openly do drugs just to be able to say and to prove that I can be a normal, decent, successful and contributing member of society, friend and family man while still having different ideas and a different life then what society says is acceptable. My number one rule? Question Everything but judge nothing until you have all the facts. But be prepared to be wrong and make concessions, and be humble even when you know your are right. A hard life that teaches you the true meaning that ignorance is "bliss". Fuk bliss though, its for pussies. If lifes not hard, its not worth living.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
) and that often did make me basically non functional as i just wanted a hit just one hit 
. I would do shit and go out n stuff but it was only when i had coke enough to last me or wasn't craving too bad for it and was taking something else.
