How bad off am I

[pirates_]

and can it get worst. Use your imaganiation, make educated guesses as to where my life is headed. Add to my story.. I need this.. this can be both fun, and helpful. Im sure my story is similar to a lot of peoples... what am I in for?? this will be like me seeing the future...and maybe with this knowledge i can change it!
And the story goes..

I went from using tabs to heroin. I started with about a 20 dollar bag every 4 days, now I am doing close to a 50 dollar bag every day. I have a girlfriend who is younger than me, who hates the fact that our sex life is suffering. She doesnt care that Im addicted..she just want to be able to have sex, but the smack, has smacked my sex drive down to hell..I do have a little bit of money, I make about 125-150 per day, so for the mean time my habit is easily supported..of course I dont ever buy new clothes or anything nice for my self.. I pay my bills, eat, and get high. I would like to get into the methadone clinic but it is 155 to get started here, and for that I can get me a big ol' bag..also...im concerned about the effect done with have on my sex drive as well..

The way I live is not honest, I..hustle for my money, but i do want a legit job..at least to pay my child support, but to do that, I require my dose of heroin to get started. and none of my damn dealers wake up early..so I sit at home..stuck until 1:30. I get my H, and no longer feel i need to get a real job...and now I am finding harder to go to sleep at night. If I get my drugs to early, I finish them early, so i will be super high until about 1 am in the morning..but then the high goes away, and I am left awake, restless, and wishing my dealer would answer his phone..

3 months later things have tooken a turn for the ______________________(this is where you all come in)

 

[Tommyboy]

What about getting on suboxone? It will take away withdrawals, help with cravings, not effect your sex drive as much as other opiates, and keep you from getting high while you straighten your life out. If a private doctor is too much then maybe you can get it though the clinic if it's cheaper.

I'm not going to tell you how bad it may get if you don't make a change, but rather urge you to make that change. It can be very difficult to get clean on your own, which is why I suggest suboxone for a few months until you get things under control, and then you can taper off if you want. It was always discouraging for me to get clean while home because by day 3 of withdrawals my family would be yelling at me, so I would decide to use. I finally got a 6 day opening in my schedule to detox on my own, so that's what I am doing now.

 

[pirates_]

UPDATE: All my effin money goes to H i havent bought new clothes in a year..my arms are scarred to hell, my viens are fucked.. still no sex.....lost my car...its just bad bad bad...eff you heroin.. i wish i would of listen to the posters who told me to go to methadone/sub/ or cold turkey... thanks for listening,...stay away from the shit if your thinking about it!

 

[ad lib]

Is something triggering your use, pirates? Have you tried talking to a therapist about this? Usually when we start using its to mask a deeper problem.

 

[pirates_]

Is something triggering your use, pirates? Have you tried talking to a therapist about this? Usually when we start using its to mask a deeper problem.

At the time i just had extra money..thats what got me started...now its just plain ol addiction

 

[Slum Survivor]

yea but u need to DO something about it. the H just keeps bumping up and up in tolerance. trust me. even at a lvl where u try and maintain, eventually u will need more. why not try and put a stop to it. it sounds like u have enough to go see a SUB doctor. that way u can get ure life straight while learning to live without getting "high" and learn to make better choices one by one.

take baby steps... but quit throwing your money at the dope. that just never ends. you are the controller of your own destiny.

and good luck. i really mean it. im about 24 hours off of the devil myself, cold turkey. at least u have money u can use for a doctor.

 

[aliencowstorm]

Good luck Slum Survivor, this is my second go around with trying to get clean. I'm at day 6 myself. I did go to an outpatient program this time and got some meds (no sub though). It's fucking hard, that's all I can say right now.

Sometimes it feels even harder than the first time. If you can, stick with it, it can only save our lives.

 

[F1n1shed]

Not trying to be a downer but even if you do quit, you will probably be back on it soon.
What happens is people quit, they start feeling good again. They start making money, and they use H as a celebration and they are right back down to where they were.
It takes many relapses to finally be done with the stuff ( MOST cases)

I my self like to think i have some decent self control, but it even happened to me. I'll quit, tell my self it's horrible dirty shit. 1 month later , get back on. Quit etc etc.

Heroin is a back and forth game, all i can offer you is write down all the negative things the drug does to you and your life. DON'T think of any positive effects it has.