Welcome How Are You in One Word vs wait! Just one?!

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I am close to giving up. Life is rough right now. Its so deep inside me, these ridiculous disturbing thoughts about death, dying. They don't even feel like 'my own' thoughts, its like a tape looping. I've been sleepwalking again which I haven't for about 5 years, getting violent or immensely agitated when asleep, terrible dreams straight from horror movie. Delusions, should I kill myself, I don't know, I am scared off the thought but pain is immense. Immense :( I've got no right to this, my lifxe has been literally handed to me, I can't manage it, I'm basically a junkie and having to do things that 'grownups' do, well I never learned how. I'm 34, I thought I'd get it by now. I do not. Life feels so desolate to me. Yesteday was great, nothings changed and here I am. Such rapid oscillation of mood is really unsettling.

My miss swilow has suggested I take mey seroquel and see if it helps. Might stop my brain a bit. I hate it though, knocks me out, can already feel it. :|

Bit more than one word, apologies.
 
lucky..

something bad happened which turned out to be a blessing in disguise %)
 
^ That's good! If it was me it would take a while until I'd noticed.

Okay.
 
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