Hopeless
Just having one of those days when I feel absolutely trapped by all of the debt I have. And struggling to feel good about getting clean and healthy again if the potential for a better life is not really there. I tried so hard the second half of this year to find a job that uses my education and/or pays decently beyond minimum wage and I found nothing. I guess a criminal record and a poor credit score always trump nice dress clothes, manners and ambition. It's one big catch-22, really. And I know that a lot of people don't really try to find work when they say they will, and I have done that in the past, but I seriously tried this year and still got nowhere beyond a couple interviews. I have plenty of ideas for starting my own business, but I will never get a loan. My family's only response is "should have thought about this all before doing drugs." And since my wages started being garnished at 20% last month, I am really anxious about just getting my minimum bills paid. There's nothing left over for personal development. And I just feel very alone in this all and don't see a path out. It's a terrible type of prison. I really would like a fair shot at a new life and not be reminded every single day by finances that I am still absolutely tied to my past.
So ya, just feeling depressed, alone and unsupported.