Retired Trashcan
Bluelighter
Bi-polar
Bi-polar
Desperate
That never ends well. You have to remember this is a phase and that suicide will not lead you anywhere.
Strange things happen. As much as you guarantee you may end up impaired in a mental hospital or in a position where you'll rely on other forever.
Besides, who guarantee what's on the other side?
I'm terribly sorry you are feeling like that. I have had my moments. Have been where you are but you have to do something and trust that this is only temporary.
Good luck!