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How Are You in One Word Vs Happiness; Only Real When Shared =D

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Pagey that sucks!! Not sure if you are from the UK, but if you still haven't slept you could try and see an out of hour doctor for a different medication or higher prescription of Ambien? I know after days without sleep it's just painful, try and get help from a doc asap if you can.
 
kace said:
Pagey that sucks!! Not sure if you are from the UK, but if you still haven't slept you could try and see an out of hour doctor for a different medication or higher prescription of Ambien? I know after days without sleep it's just painful, try and get help from a doc asap if you can.
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Yeah I live in London - I've got to go to the doctor's for something else tomorrow anyway so I think I'll ask about that yeah. This is just getting unbearable. Thanks for the support <3
 
I'm from there too (south west) :). I hope you manage to get some rest tonight and your doctor's appointment goes okay!! I'm sure they will help. And you too!

I just found out another friend of mine is in a&e after a drunken suicide attempt last night :( .. fucking hell.. Going up there now to support him.
 
Weird

My now-former best friend did something incredibly stupid (not drug-related, he committed a very violent crime against an innocent person; the person was badly hurt and needed surgery) and he's looking at hard time.

I will talk about this more when there is not pending litigation. There is much to tell. All I will say is that what he did was a breach of society's trust and that I will NOT be writing to him in prison. :( This is very difficult for me to comprehend.
 
That sounds heavy.
Sometimes people with no remorse simply need to learn the hard way.

I'm feeling ready.
Today should be the day my beautiful hair becomes a filthy pit of dreadlocks.
 
kace said:
I'm from there too (south west) :). I hope you manage to get some rest tonight and your doctor's appointment goes okay!! I'm sure they will help. And you too!

I just found out another friend of mine is in a&e after a drunken suicide attempt last night :( .. fucking hell.. Going up there now to support him.
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Oh cool :) well I'm not actually from London, I'm from Paris but I've been studying here since september. Great city. And thank you!

I'm so sorry to hear that, that's horrible...I hope he'll be all right, keep us posted :(
 
nostalgic

is it normal to, every single day, several times throughout the day still think about the person who broke your heart about 3/4months ago? It was my first real heartbreak.
We still talk...so I guess that plays a role.
 
Pagey said:
Oh cool :) well I'm not actually from London, I'm from Paris but I've been studying here since september. Great city. And thank you!

I'm so sorry to hear that, that's horrible...I hope he'll be all right, keep us posted :(
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Glad you like it over here :) Paris is an awesome city too.

Yeah, I just got back from his house after he discharged, he was in shock and depressed about the whole thing. I gave him lots of hugs and massages and we watched goofy films.. He seems a lot better now. I'm definitely going to keep a very close eye on him, keep giving him lots of comfort and support. Had no idea he was depressed. :(

fakeplastictrees4 said:
nostalgic

is it normal to, every single day, several times throughout the day still think about the person who broke your heart about 3/4months ago? It was my first real heartbreak.
We still talk...so I guess that plays a role.
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Yes. The first heartbreak hurts the worst.. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Maybe try and stop speaking to them, meet new people, it might help you move on.
 
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warm and in the light
after 20" of snow, temps below 20F, winds that hit 80mph, and 48 hrs freezing in the dark, the power is back on.
tomorrow's forecast- rain and 45F.
now i have to sleep, am exhausted, and have a belly full of warm homemade food. off to dream land and if i have another of those nightmare nights, i'm too tired to give a rat's ass.
"in the light you will find the road..."
g'nite...
-izzy
 
{reborn}

I suddenly see life in a new light. Motivation is back and I am genuinely happy for the first time in a while.
 
Sick, yea I feel like I could throw up any minute, must have eaten something I should not have >_<

Pagey said:
Well these past few months, and last few weeks especially I would force myself to stay awake until it was physically impossible because I was afraid of having nightmares - every single night I would dream either of my mom telling me she didn't love me and just wake up crying, or I'd replay getting raped in my head and would just wake up even more traumatized than before. So I'd only be sleeping something like 3 hours a night. I ended up going to the ER a week ago because I was quite literally losing my mind and they prescribed me Ambien, which did help for a couple days but now I feel like I'm back to square one, I take a couple before going to bed but still just can't fall asleep - this time without even trying not to. I just can't sleep. :(
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The Z-drugs helped me sleep for a short time (ambien being most effective, zaleplon just being weird) but they could also make me have more vivid dreams (especially zopiclone). Benzos on the other hand like flunitrazepam always made me just feel like I was really drunk and then fell asleep shortly after. Before that I had nitrazepam which also worked for a while. Benzos tend to make me not dream at all, or just forget about them. Though they don't work in the long run so I don't really know what to recommend. I have dreams these days but I am merely observing, I do not feel emotions in my dreams and therefor they are never scary or unpleasant (or well, when I think back on them they seem unpleasant but when I'm dreaming it never bothers me).

Maybe Propanolol could help, it helps people with PTSD that have nightmares (and other symptoms ofc) and it's probably alot better as a long term solution than benzos are.
 
Oh yeah no I wouldn't use benzos for sleep. I have a long history of benzo problems so I only use them when absolutely necessary now (like when having a major panic attack). Yeah I expected the Ambien to work well but it just makes me drowsy, doesn't make me crash or anything which apparently isn't enough...I'll ask a doctor about propanolol, thank you. I appreciate the help :)
 
>If you have a high tolerance to benzos I'm sorry to say you probably have a high tolerance against the Z-drugs too. I found ambien did little to nothing when I was on 5mg clonazepam daily.
 
I'm prescribed propanolol, I've found it very useful helping stop the physical sides of anxiety, tis worth a shot asking your doc about it. Have you heard or tried of melatonin? That helped me sleep when I was getting rebound insomnia, it helps regulate your sleep cycle butt can cause vivid dreams in people. I hope you get some sleep and find something which works for you Pagey.
 
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