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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How are you in one word vs. feelin' the feels

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sadness


yay i'm back on my sad/angry self pity stuff. no friends in 11 years (actually 1 halfway decent friend, but knew him for like < 6mths , no friends now), no good sex in 11 years (no sex at all in 8years), No decent money in 11 years(obviously if I had decent money, I'd be having sex a couple times a week, yes i've become a biter 'hater'), no job for 11 years(see money, women, friends = who knew u needed a job and social status to have friends? was always so natural I never noticed), physically disabled for 11 years ( see money, women, friends).
11 years ago I had a full time job, a place on the beach, like 5 'best friends', a nice gf(s) who loved to fuck pretty much daily, great health.

I know i'm supposed to be like "YES ! i accomplished my simple goal for today, things are all sunshine and rainbows!!" But i really needed a day like today where i can acknowledge the horrible hell of reality and not get anything done while i cry like a bitch. /vent
 
stardust.hero said:
<3 Corazon <3 vent all you need. Know that you are loved here and you matter.
Click to expand...

thx stardust.hero

i need to get this out of my system. Tomorrow I want to go back to the positive attitude small goals thing, and I need to stop crying and stop feeling terrible every time I see an attractive woman or worse, a couple.
 
stardust.hero said:
What happened Tweak? <3
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I was supposed to start a new job today. I've been unemployed for months now and I'm getting seriously desperate for money. I get a call an hour before start time from the manager saying the position has been filled and they'd call me when a position opens up again. Bullshit! Bullshit bullshit! Today was supposed to be the first day to start turning things around. I was beating myself up bad but I've had most of the day to think about it all and I'm feeling much better and confident I can find a job within a week or two. I just need to apply myself more.

Right now: Open-Minded
 
pretty damn happy it's even a little disturbing i haven't been this happy in probably a year so it's freaking me out but i'm trying to enjoy it as much as possible
 
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