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How are you in One Word vs. A Smile is a Curve That Sets Everything Straight
- Thread starter Black Rabbit of Inle
- Start date
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Black Rabbit of Inle
Bluelight Crew
MoE and n3o 
{Lonely}
Nothing like your family getting married to really rub it in
{Lonely}
Nothing like your family getting married to really rub it in
triggered
PM me if you want to talk through the trigger.. trigger is just like any emotion and the correct thought can crush it
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
average
tripnotyzm
Bluelighter
Happy 
This weekend can't get any better!!!!
This weekend can't get any better!!!!
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
^Why?
Tired
Tired
I'm sorry to hear that, I know exactly what your going through it sucks. Are you getting clean because you want to?
I will be on a Suboxone program around the 28th of this month. I'm relived that I'm going through with whole process but also scared of the WD's that I will going through.
It's a viscous cycle.
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
Don't worry bud be strong, every day will be a fragment better than the day before. I'm always here to chat, you know that 
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
Right now I'm miserable.
My insomnia has been bad the last few weeks, 2 hour minimum till I pass out once I start trying to fall asleep. I've been steadily depressed (atypical, not major) for the last 4ish months since getting out of rehab. Some ups, but mostly a medium sub par. I only get to see my girlfriend in person once a week at best because she's going to school at UCSC. I really want to attend a university myself, but I have a GED and 4 years since I been in school, So I have a lot of fear about trying and failing to get into a university. I know I need to take a community college 2 years then transfer route, but I'm afraid of failure. It's going to be difficult. And even if I currently had faith in myself, I don't know what the fuck to do with my life and that's what I've been saying for 5 years of using drugs, the last 5 months of sobriety haven't gotten me any closer to deciding.
I dunno, I'm just depressed. Like I said, not major depressive, but atypical, where it's basically always a constant subpar emotional state with an inability to enjoy anything.
Oh yeah, did I mention other than my girlfriend I have like zero real friends, and no one else in the world that I feel close to? She isn't my higher power, but idk what I'd do without her. I had to drop ALL my friends when I got clean, and it killed me. I don't relate to anyone here. I know a ton of people from AA meetings, but don't feel socially comfortable enough with any of them to hang out. When I try, I can't ever think of anything to talk about and who wants to hang out with the guy who never says anything. I miss the social aspects of drug use, more than the euphoria actually. I miss being able to approach and hang out and have fun and talk about things with anyone I meet.
Usually I'm really good at ignoring shit like this and pretending I'm fine. but I'm not fine. I'm fucking sad.
edit:
Also, I miss my fucking cat. When I went to rehab 5 months ago I had to send my cat back to my dads house in Jersey, haven't seen her since. Anyone that's really close to a pet would understand how much that sucks.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
My insomnia has been bad the last few weeks, 2 hour minimum till I pass out once I start trying to fall asleep. I've been steadily depressed (atypical, not major) for the last 4ish months since getting out of rehab. Some ups, but mostly a medium sub par. I only get to see my girlfriend in person once a week at best because she's going to school at UCSC. I really want to attend a university myself, but I have a GED and 4 years since I been in school, So I have a lot of fear about trying and failing to get into a university. I know I need to take a community college 2 years then transfer route, but I'm afraid of failure. It's going to be difficult. And even if I currently had faith in myself, I don't know what the fuck to do with my life and that's what I've been saying for 5 years of using drugs, the last 5 months of sobriety haven't gotten me any closer to deciding.
I dunno, I'm just depressed. Like I said, not major depressive, but atypical, where it's basically always a constant subpar emotional state with an inability to enjoy anything.
Oh yeah, did I mention other than my girlfriend I have like zero real friends, and no one else in the world that I feel close to? She isn't my higher power, but idk what I'd do without her. I had to drop ALL my friends when I got clean, and it killed me. I don't relate to anyone here. I know a ton of people from AA meetings, but don't feel socially comfortable enough with any of them to hang out. When I try, I can't ever think of anything to talk about and who wants to hang out with the guy who never says anything. I miss the social aspects of drug use, more than the euphoria actually. I miss being able to approach and hang out and have fun and talk about things with anyone I meet.
Usually I'm really good at ignoring shit like this and pretending I'm fine. but I'm not fine. I'm fucking sad.
edit:
Also, I miss my fucking cat. When I went to rehab 5 months ago I had to send my cat back to my dads house in Jersey, haven't seen her since. Anyone that's really close to a pet would understand how much that sucks.
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Black Rabbit of Inle
Bluelight Crew
I third that sentiment.
spork
Bluelight Crew
Love to the three of you.
Black Rabbit of Inle
Bluelight Crew
*group hugs case & n3o*
Being miserable is ok, but frowns just create wrinkles
Being miserable is ok, but frowns just create wrinkles
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
*joins the group hug*
I'll admit, seeing you guys come in here and say you were also miserable kinda made me feel a little better.
At least now we can bask in the misery together.
I'll admit, seeing you guys come in here and say you were also miserable kinda made me feel a little better.
At least now we can bask in the misery together.
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
Aww guizzz Group hug is needed indeed
Case, I moved 1000 miles away from my family and friends a year and a half ago and still have yet to make one friend here. I have my boyfriend, my 3 dogs and a cat and Bluelight. Thank goodness for Bluelight.
If we're gonna feel miserable we might as well feel it together, misery likes company ftw
btw have I mentioned my joy for having n3o back!?!?
Group hug is needed indeed Case, I moved 1000 miles away from my family and friends a year and a half ago and still have yet to make one friend here. I have my boyfriend, my 3 dogs and a cat and Bluelight. Thank goodness for Bluelight.
If we're gonna feel miserable we might as well feel it together, misery likes company ftw btw have I mentioned my joy for having n3o back!?!?
Black Rabbit of Inle
Bluelight Crew
btw have I mentioned my joy for having n3o back!?!?
I, too, enjoy seeing n3o's eye watching the boards again :D
case, don't worry about not having friends around since getting clean. It's hard relating to people again after quitting, but as a couple you should find it easier to meet people.
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