Distraught. I came home from my school apartment (the medical school is a 55 mile drive from home and its just easier to keep an apartment there than to commute every single day. I still typically get 3-4 days at home per week, but I spent most of last week on my own.) The one thing I was looking forward to was some time with my wife. I felt the absolute worst depression, loneliness, and pretty much like whatever I needed wasn't going to matter or happen the entire time. I couldn't wait to leave -- even with 12 1/2 inches of snow on the ground, and a dangerous drive ahead -- I just wanted to leave my own home. Everything took on a dark shade, and the whole thing was just a major trigger. I avoided that, but I'm feeling very depressed about the state of my marriage at the moment. Like I made a major mistake. I'm going to wait for the depression to pass before I make any decisions, but I am not in a good place today.
Breakups are so painful. I wish I could give you a big hug and make everything better, but I know it takes more than that. My PM box is open also if you want to talk. 
