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How Are You In One Word ver. Smile Because It Happened

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^ I think I've pinned it down to a sense of loneliness - need to socialise but live too far from anyone I know and they'd likely all be drinking anyway
 
Can feel a fog of depression descending again. Dammit, was feeling good today, really should have left the house :(
 
Empty and shattered...

A good friend of mine and his girl broke up. Idk how this is gonna affect my friendship with them as im close to both of them and love them dearly.

Empty because I wanna love someobe romantically again. I miss the spark I felt inside. I'm driving a cute girl to an NA meeting tomorrow so thats a half hour each way for travel. Maybe somthing can blossom there. No expectations though. Getting bored of "the game" for now.
 
(((<3))) Get well, Spork. It's probably the stress of all that studying.8(

inspired went to see a local artist yesterday to see about having her present her work to my classes and ended up being so inspired by her work, the way she lives, everything. I love meeting people like that.
 
sconnie420 said:
Depressed.. Man I haven't felt this bad in a looong time..
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It'll be OK Sconnie. (((<3)))


I'm feeling productive. I was absolutely sick of living in a sty. This is a tiny house, three small rooms across three floors and it gets untidy fast, but worse than that it was dirty! When you're on a bender you don't care about the mess, or the dirt, but I've not had the time in the 9-10 days sober, whatever it is since to clean up my drunken messes and it was getting me down. So, I did the place top to bottom, every single surface has been brushed / dusted / sponged / mopped. And I've got the blinds open for the first time in months to let some sun in, you have to keep them closed when its cold for the little bit of heat they help retain but it's nearly spring at last. I feel so much better for that.

Also, positive. The boss who insisted I go on the sick two weeks ago had me in work for four days last week, paid me cash for the days. Asked me Friday if I'm going back to work next week. :D As it happens, no, I'm not. He insisted I go on it and you know what, I'm taking what I can get. Worked out what I'll get paid in benefit for the month is not massively less than I'll get for working the four days a week I was already on, I need to be full time to make work worthwhile for the extra few hundred quid that gives me. So long as the doc signs me off again next week, and I'm sure she will I'm taking another fortnight, do something productive with them as far as my mood goes. Nice to know I've still got a job though, with things more on my terms for a couple of weeks or so too.
 
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fucking good

Considering i didn't get laid last night like i expected i at least got to go swim at the beach and got the numbers of two sexy brazillian girls before the afternoon/evening went pear shaped. oh well....
 
Sick. <snip> I ended up spending like 3 hours throwing up last night before fainting, and still don't feel good today. <snip>
I really need to start taking better care of myself.
 
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