How are you in one word ver. contagious smile

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^^good luck to you man.

I'm grateful today

talked to my grand sponsor and her husband may be able to get me a full time over night job! I always wanted to work nights.
 
You're right. Thanks for reminding me of this.



Why? Want to talk about it?

Yeah I wouldn't mind confessing my sins to a fellow user. At least I know you will understand how I feel.

I have a sharp pain in my hip and I don't know what I did last night at work but it hurts and I am in a great deal of pain.

I guess overwhelmed would describe how I feel this morning.

Fucked.

Really struggling atm, just can't be happy for some reason.

Take some time to sit and think of the things you have, be happy and thankful for those things. They don't have to be big things but little things like that you have working arms and legs. I work at a hospital and I see people all the time unable to walk or feed themselves. I think you'll find if you can be happy with the small things life will be a little less depressing. Not saying life will be suddenly perfect but it helps to know you always have a few reasons to be happy and glad.

Suicidal.

I wish these thoughts would just leave me alone, that's all I want.

I struggle with thinking of killing myself too. I have to remind myself it is one of the most selfish acts a human can do. Even if you think no one loves or cares about you there are people who do and you will be robbing them of your company.
 
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Very lethargic.
Need to clean my whole room and get something productive done but I don't feel like I even hav the energy to do any of that.
Just want to go back to sleep
 
{Awake}

Today is not off to a good start.

i-cannot-brain-today-i-has-the-dumb-cat.jpg
 
sad: legit only woke up now (didn't sleep yesterday... anyways I had a dream that I had all my pets back that I lost after I became homeless, but then I woke up :(
 
Ashtray.

All the weekdays are great weather but I have to work almost until sunset, and during the weekends it's always raining, plus my knee keeps me from hiking/sightseeing etc. So it's the second weekend in a row I spend in my apartment with my laptop, junkfood and cigarettes...
 
{Pissed} :!

Windows decided to corrupt itself early this morning, so while I was already tired, unable to think and just wanted to watch movies I couldn't even get my computer to turn on. I took it as a sign that I really needed some sleep. I still had to re-install everything though :(
 
prettyokay

getting out the slump i've been in for a week/cleaning this placeup/motivation

every video i watch of my bf's music/bands on youtube just make me thinks "perfect. perfect. perfect. this is perfect"

and my roommate had a good hug/cry with me over his current g/f and how it might not work out and i hugged and cried with him and i felt human and that was good
 
Unsure. I start a job tomorrow which will likely bring me into contact with some old friends/acquaintances which isn't necessarily a good thing. Trying to move on with your life can be difficult when you are surrounded by people who have no interest in changing their own. I need the job though so I'll figure out a way to make it all work out, ideally.
 
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